Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Chilson]

I must disagree with this greatly.

As someone who works globally, constantly traveling as an engineer (I have worked on all continents), and I am not American, as a group of people, Americans are very tolerant of the disabled.

In America, it is not unusual for one with a disability to be out in public and hold a job. If you have a problem with someone with Down syndrome packing your grocery bag, in America you are bad person.

In most countries, the disabled are to be hidden away with no public life.

In Europe, some countries practice Eugenics AFTER WWII.

I don't mean to sperg. I work with a lot of fellow engineer from overseas and we often try to get jobs in the US for the pay but also many times because if we have children with issues, in the US it is easy for us to get them educations.

In Europe and Asia, it is a massive struggle.

But NPR told you "Americans bad, Europeans and Asians good" so you have to hate Americans now or your a Nazi sympathizer.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

In most countries, the disabled are to be hidden away with no public life.

This is mostly true. If you have a disabled kid (mentally or physically) the usual is to keep the sucker locked up and let him/her go out the bare minimum of time because it's usual for people, specially in small towns, to throw back in your face the fact that one of your kids is fucked up. As well, it's socially acceptable for someone heavily disabled (usually more than 30%) to never work a day in their life. That's why you can opt for government disability pensions quite easily. At least where i live.

He is absolutely the kind of person who would watch Children Of Men and hate it because it "depicts a weak black woman needing to be protected by strong white men" although he would say it in his snake-oil-salesman

You don't have to go so far. He watched Rambo: Last blood and instead of saying "The story of a man disconected from his family that goes on a rampage after his last relative is mercilessly killed and dies in his arms" he went on a tirade about it being racist gore porn because Rambo kills mexican druglords without any sort of redeeming quality.

 

[The tired cat]

You don't have to go so far. He watched Rambo: Last blood and instead of saying "The story of a man disconected from his family that goes on a rampage after his last relative is mercilessly killed and dies in his arms" he went on a tirade about it being racist gore porn because Rambo kills mexican druglords without any sort of redeeming quality.

Funny thing, he wasnt even original in that take, I saw some journos call the movie a "Drumpf racist paranoid fantasy!! Showing Mexicans as criminals/rapists and Mexico as a shitty city!"

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

I presume the forearm immediately below Chris's is Bobby's, but what is the cufflink?

The one below Chris is the bearded redhead, as he's the only one of these animals wearing a wedding band. I've zoom>enhanced>zoom>enhanced and still can't tell what the cufflink is.

Bob is the fat, hairless hand above Chris. Not entirely sure what his is either.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Funny thing, he wasnt even original in that take, I saw some journos call the movie a "Drumpf racist paranoid fantasy!! Showing Mexicans as criminals/rapists and Mexico as a shitty city!"

This kinda makes me wonder if Bob and all these people get their worldview from movies and they think other people do the same. It's not like the average joe has enough braincells to rub together to know that not all mexicans are murderous druglords.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The one below Chris is the bearded redhead, as he's the only one of these animals wearing a wedding band. I've zoom>enhanced>zoom>enhanced and still can't tell what the cufflink is.

Bob is the fat, hairless hand above Chris. Not entirely sure what his is either.

View attachment 1674320

Looks like a film reel.

 

[Silent Observer]

This is mostly true. If you have a disabled kid (mentally or physically) the usual is to keep the sucker locked up and let him/her go out the bare minimum of time because it's usual for people, specially in small towns, to throw back in your face the fact that one of your kids is fucked up. As well, it's socially acceptable for someone heavily disabled (usually more than 30%) to never work a day in their life. That's why you can opt for government disability pensions quite easily. At least where i live.

You don't have to go so far. He watched Rambo: Last blood and instead of saying "The story of a man disconected from his family that goes on a rampage after his last relative is mercilessly killed and dies in his arms" he went on a tirade about it being racist gore porn because Rambo kills mexican druglords without any sort of redeeming quality.

Regarding disabled people, obviously everyone deserves rights regardless of what condition they were born/diagnosed with or had inflicted upon them, but at the same time, modern medical advancements have made eugenics a certain (and arguably necessary) inevitability, not to mention disabled people obviously can't compete in the meritocratic job market. So quite, disabled people are society's only justified NEETs, although that doesn't make them immune to ethical standards.

Regarding Rambo, of course MovieBowel ChipMovement isn't capable of enjoying it. It is IMPOSSIBLE for him to separate politics and pop culture, which is why he associates comic book companies with political factions.
Oh shit! HE IS LITERALLY THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD BUY QUEEN MAEVE'S GAY PRIDE MERCH!!!! HE'S THAT BITCHMADE!!!

 

[Friendly Primarina]

View attachment 1673837

This guy's soy face is a dead ringer for Phil's holy shit:

 

[ConsoleWarVet]

More wedding pictures from Chris:
View attachment 1673617
View attachment 1673618
View attachment 1673621

He posts a lot of pictures and here I pick my favorites. For the rest and the context go to his Twitter.
View attachment 1673623
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View attachment 1673629
View attachment 1673628
I presume the forearm immediately below Chris's is Bobby's, but what is the cufflink?

View attachment 1673630

View attachment 1673637

View attachment 1673633
View attachment 1673634


I don't think Chris has quit or got fired. He signed up for home renovation in September, which is not something you'd do if you lost your job.

Yet there is one thing that points to his not getting as many gigs as before. Chris used to have a series where he v-logs as he drives. People who do that deserve hell, but I don't think Chris stops doing that out of safety or concern for other road users.

Somehow the worst part of this wedding is all of the groomsmen skanking to ska.

 

[Lensherr]

You don't have to go so far. He watched Rambo: Last blood and instead of saying "The story of a man disconected from his family that goes on a rampage after his last relative is mercilessly killed and dies in his arms" he went on a tirade about it being racist gore porn because Rambo kills mexican druglords without any sort of redeeming quality.

To be fair, Rambo: Last Blood isn't a good movie (IMO, it felt like a shitty, half-assed version of Logan), but Bob and other reviewers takes on the film being "racist gore porn" were absolutely retarded. It's because of people like them that we can't have non-whites as villains in movies without them being considered racist.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

As a thought experiment, I considered writing a treatment using TLJ as canon and when I did, it ended up looking like a scripted D&D kind of plot. If you want to accuse me of writing fanfiction, go ahead. So did Disney.

Act 1
Leia's funeral. Poe gives a Eulogy and shoots her coffin out into the asteroid field the Millenium Falcon is hiding in. The last twelve people in the Resistance now ask what are they going to do seeing as how they got BTFOd in TLJ. Rose and Finn do an inventory and find they're running out of supplies. Finn then states that a sparsely defended First Order outpost is nearby. Meanwhile, Rey holds vigil as she tries to meditate only to have Kylo intrude on her thoughts and argue about Leia's legacy and the effect her choice of career had to her family, thus giving us much needed exposition on what happened in between RotJ and TFA wrapped up in characters yelling at each other. Yes, I'm well aware Force Telepathy sucks, but I have to use TLJ components.

Act 2
Since the First Order "took over all the major systems in a matter of weeks," Kylo is now the new, indolent Emperor in the model of Caligula or Nero where Hux, to his chagrin, is actually doing all the ministerial duties while Kylo spends his time Force-skyping and investigating the Force sensitive planet Luke was on. After he murders the frog nuns with his lightsaber, he finds the Force Mirror Pool and it amplifies his rage throughout the galaxy, expressed as an space quake. For Rey, it didn't do anything but show her herself because she's an empty vessel. For Kylo, it plays out muddled VOs (stop asking Harrison Ford to come back, his demands keep breaking the budget. Get that Robot Chicken impersonator instead mixed with whatever Leia lines were in deleted TFA scenes) of his parents that infuriate him. Meanwhile, Finn, Rose, and Poe plan a heist on the FO outpost and succeed at getting supplies, but trip the alarm and now they have a fleet on their tail. Yeah, I know I still have Rose as a supporting character and having her act out of character on top of it, but Rian Johnson's direction that made her suck, not the character herself.

Act 3
While everyone is shouting about where to flee, Rey recommends going back to Ahch-To (it's canon, so the name is stuck) where the source of the quakes are coming from. She argues that the only way to end the war for good is to go there. Once the Falcon gets there, they see Kylo's fleet in orbit waiting to shoot them down. Poe wants to flee immediately, but Rey dashes off to an escape pod to head to the planet. Finn persuades Poe that this is their last stand anyways and mans the turret one last time to mirror TFA. Rose, thinking it's her last will, tells C-3P0 and R2-D2 to get into the other escape pod for time capsule purposes and to also mirror the opening of real Star Wars. Down on the planet, Rey confronts Kylo for the last time and they die on each other's swords while the Falcon crashes into the bridge of Hux's flagship. Done, everyone's dead now. Even Rose, who objected to kamikaze attacks in the first place in TLJ.

Again, I know we're supposed to make fun of MovieBlob, but writing fanfiction for free is a more productive use of time.

TBH, if George Lucas would be still in charge you highly likely would have a new job now. I like it, it could have been easily made into a script and movie, by some talented people who actually give a fuck about Star Wars.
But, otoh, when even game trailers are better than the last three movies combined.

Can you imagine Bob discussing the directors you mentioned? He would hate them through his own political and ethical framework:

• Sergei Eisenstein sympathizes with Russian working class
• Andrei Tarkovsky is one of the most religious directors who ever lived
• Yasujiro Ozu makes movies that examines traditional Japanese values
• Werner Herzog deconstructs people filled with greed and ego
• Orson Welles speaks out against the corporate greed of Hollywood
• Francis Ford Coppola often makes movies about characters dealing with masculinity
• Sam Peckinpah's movies contain lots of killings against brown people

It would be morbidly entertaining to see Bob embarrass himself, but I've watched and read too many terrible video essays and articles to the point I'd rather people like him just stay away from them and stick to modern movies as to not pollute the discourse.

Are you sure that he even knows half of the names on that list? Even if he knew all of them, they aren't capeshit movies and he simply wouldn't give a fuck about them or even worse he would do a similar bad review like that dumbass Doug Walker did with his The Wall review.

 

[Captain Marvelous]

THE PARENT COMPANY FIRED HIM?? So this isn't just some financial shit. These people are literally and personally disgusted by Bob

Wouldn't you be disgusted by someone who supports a movie promoting pedophilia?

 

[Water-T]

They're not going to fuck y....you know what, if you bring lots of good booze, both of them will put out Bob.

Now he can bust his cherry just in time to narrowly avoid being known as The 40 Year Old Virgin 2: Electric Bobaloo

 

[Silent Observer]

They're not to fuck y....you know what, if you bring lots of good booze, both of them will put out Bob.

Now he can bust his cherry just in time to narrowly avoid being known as The 40 Year Old Virgin 2: Electric Bobaloo

Look, virginity helps humanity. It either means geniuses like Isaac Newton are working on our species' evolution, or retards like Moviebob are being merciful enough not to reproduce.

 

[instythot]

Can you imagine Bob discussing the directors you mentioned? He would hate them through his own political and ethical framework:

• Sergei Eisenstein sympathizes with Russian working class
• Andrei Tarkovsky is one of the most religious directors who ever lived
• Yasujiro Ozu makes movies that examines traditional Japanese values
• Werner Herzog deconstructs people filled with greed and ego
• Orson Welles speaks out against the corporate greed of Hollywood
• Francis Ford Coppola often makes movies about characters dealing with masculinity
• Sam Peckinpah's movies contain lots of killings against brown people

It would be morbidly entertaining to see Bob embarrass himself, but I've watched and read too many terrible video essays and articles to the point I'd rather people like him just stay away from them and stick to modern movies as to not pollute the discourse.

Oh no. Watching Bob trip over himself trying to ascribe current far left democratic intent to movies made decades before the instigators started pushing these ideas into media would be more prime Kino than Hollywood God's love of Batman 1989 and hatred of Zach Snyder

 

[Overcast]

I haven’t followed Bob for a long time, so I’m kinda surprised he was actually working for the Escapist again. Gotta say, getting fired from the same place twice is quite the feat.

 

[Nutritious_Banana]

...twice is quite the feat.

Which is two more feet than Bob has.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

It would almost be worth it to give Bob a couple of million dollars and send him to Hollywood. Bob's such a rube, he'd be picked clean by scam artists in no time. At no point would Bob ever come within shouting distance of getting an actual movie made. For one thing, he's so intellectually uncurious that he knows nothing about the actual process of getting a film made. It may as well be magic, as far as he's concerned. And despite his entire career and college degree specializing in media commentary, he shows zero interest in learning anything. Surface-level wikipedia is as deep as Bob's knowledge ever gets.

 

[Flexo]

As a thought experiment, I considered writing a treatment using TLJ as canon and when I did, it ended up looking like a scripted D&D kind of plot. If you want to accuse me of writing fanfiction, go ahead. So did Disney.

Act 1
Leia's funeral. Poe gives a Eulogy and shoots her coffin out into the asteroid field the Millenium Falcon is hiding in. The last twelve people in the Resistance now ask what are they going to do seeing as how they got BTFOd in TLJ. Rose and Finn do an inventory and find they're running out of supplies. Finn then states that a sparsely defended First Order outpost is nearby. Meanwhile, Rey holds vigil as she tries to meditate only to have Kylo intrude on her thoughts and argue about Leia's legacy and the effect her choice of career had to her family, thus giving us much needed exposition on what happened in between RotJ and TFA wrapped up in characters yelling at each other. Yes, I'm well aware Force Telepathy sucks, but I have to use TLJ components.

Act 2
Since the First Order "took over all the major systems in a matter of weeks," Kylo is now the new, indolent Emperor in the model of Caligula or Nero where Hux, to his chagrin, is actually doing all the ministerial duties while Kylo spends his time Force-skyping and investigating the Force sensitive planet Luke was on. After he murders the frog nuns with his lightsaber, he finds the Force Mirror Pool and it amplifies his rage throughout the galaxy, expressed as an space quake. For Rey, it didn't do anything but show her herself because she's an empty vessel. For Kylo, it plays out muddled VOs (stop asking Harrison Ford to come back, his demands keep breaking the budget. Get that Robot Chicken impersonator instead mixed with whatever Leia lines were in deleted TFA scenes) of his parents that infuriate him. Meanwhile, Finn, Rose, and Poe plan a heist on the FO outpost and succeed at getting supplies, but trip the alarm and now they have a fleet on their tail. Yeah, I know I still have Rose as a supporting character and having her act out of character on top of it, but Rian Johnson's direction that made her suck, not the character herself.

Act 3
While everyone is shouting about where to flee, Rey recommends going back to Ahch-To (it's canon, so the name is stuck) where the source of the quakes are coming from. She argues that the only way to end the war for good is to go there. Once the Falcon gets there, they see Kylo's fleet in orbit waiting to shoot them down. Poe wants to flee immediately, but Rey dashes off to an escape pod to head to the planet. Finn persuades Poe that this is their last stand anyways and mans the turret one last time to mirror TFA. Rose, thinking it's her last will, tells C-3P0 and R2-D2 to get into the other escape pod for time capsule purposes and to also mirror the opening of real Star Wars. Down on the planet, Rey confronts Kylo for the last time and they die on each other's swords while the Falcon crashes into the bridge of Hux's flagship. Done, everyone's dead now. Even Rose, who objected to kamikaze attacks in the first place in TLJ.

Again, I know we're supposed to make fun of MovieBlob, but writing fanfiction for free is a more productive use of time.

Hmmm....so Serenity with a star wars skin and downer ending? I like it!

I must disagree with this greatly.

As someone who works globally, constantly traveling as an engineer (I have worked on all continents), and I am not American, as a group of people, Americans are very tolerant of the disabled.

In America, it is not unusual for one with a disability to be out in public and hold a job. If you have a problem with someone with Down syndrome packing your grocery bag, in America you are bad person.

In most countries, the disabled are to be hidden away with no public life.

In Europe, some countries practice Eugenics AFTER WWII.

I don't mean to sperg. I work with a lot of fellow engineer from overseas and we often try to get jobs in the US for the pay but also many times because if we have children with issues, in the US it is easy for us to get them educations.

In Europe and Asia, it is a massive struggle.

I've heard more than few foreigners describe America as big-hearted. What many American advocates of European healthcare don't realize is that it has a bit of callousness in the system that Americans would never accept.

More like, "Huh, so that's how you do that".

That is the face of a man who has never been alone with a woman.

Yeah i kept trying to figure out how to express that joke. The delivery can be trickier than you think.

Ironically some of the images & text programs have character limits meaning I can't be as verbose and wordy as we all know Bobby would be.

One day @Positron will find the perfect image and I'll put on it the mini novella of one of Bob's tweet chains.

 

[Vice Bold]

It would almost be worth it to give Bob a couple of million dollars and send him to Hollywood. Bob's such a rube, he'd be picked clean by scam artists in no time. At no point would Bob ever come within shouting distance of getting an actual movie made. For one thing, he's so intellectually uncurious that he knows nothing about the actual process of getting a film made. It may as well be magic, as far as he's concerned. And despite his entire career and college degree specializing in media commentary, he shows zero interest in learning anything. Surface-level wikipedia is as deep as Bob's knowledge ever gets.

I feel like a lot of film critics are like that, most just talk out their ass and say shit that they think is new or unique. That's one of the reasons why bob is so fucking insufferable to me, his critiques make no sense in the vein of movies, and he has a lot of personal nitpick that throw me off. That and his monologues is so balls to the wall awful that I gain a new eating disorder every time I listen.

Can you imagine Bob discussing the directors you mentioned? He would hate them through his own political and ethical framework:

• Sergei Eisenstein sympathizes with Russian working class
• Andrei Tarkovsky is one of the most religious directors who ever lived
• Yasujiro Ozu makes movies that examines traditional Japanese values
• Werner Herzog deconstructs people filled with greed and ego
• Orson Welles speaks out against the corporate greed of Hollywood
• Francis Ford Coppola often makes movies about characters dealing with masculinity
• Sam Peckinpah's movies contain lots of killings against brown people

It would be morbidly entertaining to see Bob embarrass himself, but I've watched and read too many terrible video essays and articles to the point I'd rather people like him just stay away from them and stick to modern movies as to not pollute the discourse.

I mean, shit, Bob already fancies himself above these guys due to his superior intellect and feminist charm, so he would probably never review these films. They're also not filled with pop culture references every five fucking minutes, so Blob would be bored and write it off as shit.

If only apocalypse now had Robert Downey Jr, maybe then he could stomach it.