Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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My large metropolitan, 99.9% Democrat city is already boarded up in anticipation of Election Night aftermath. And it ain’t because those Democrats are fearful of rioting Republicans. Bob needs to stop taking credit for living in an urban area of Boston when he lives in a suburban basement in Lynn. His fat ass won’t be the one paying out on the “looting and arson are justified” checks the left is writing.
Whenever BLM protests happen in my city, businesses also board up their windows for the inevitable rioting that Bob and co. not only refuse to denounce, but encourage by saying things like "What? You care about property over lives!" As if it's literally impossible for them to not riot.
 
With 2 days left till Judgement Day, I just thought of the perfect scenario. Imagine if Trump wins the popular vote and wins the college.......oh my lord Bob will freaking implode.
While I feel like there's a 50/50 chance, you all know a Trump win would make an entertaining day on this site.
 
He listed his musical preference in a blog that I'm sure has never been updated at all. Otherwise he never talked about music, not even film music.
He's so joyless. He's such a Twitter addict that if he actually cared about music, we'd know that we'd hear about it. But he doesn't. He doesn't care about animals either. And we know that he's a forever alone permavirgin. I don't think that he even enjoys video games any more. Just cheap awful food, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Twitter, and maybe masturbating if his penis still works and he can find it in his fat rolls. What a dreary, empty life. He'd be at an animal level if any animals used Twitter.
 
I still remember how he said like the best way to win a conversation was to smack women rather than give them the last word.

And then my shock at the date of the interview where he's said it.

What a man.
I can't help but find it funny that everyone is horrified when they hear you smacked a woman until the moment they hear the smack was on their ass. Somehow smacking a woman becomes 100% okay when it's their ass and I can't help but find that hilarious.
 
Saw some funny blob bashing recently.
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Idk if it was posted already but it made me chuckle.
 
Putting on my armchair psychiatrist hat for a bit here:
My guess would be that his complete turn into assholery stems from a resentment of his life not panning out the way he wanted it to, or possibly what he believes he was told it would be. We've speculated at length about the possibility of Bob having a sheltered upbringing, where he was told (or absorbed from pop culture, more likely) things like "don't worry about the bullies, they'll be working for you one day," which warped his worldview into believing that he'd become successful just by being a nerd. By his own admission, of course, he was never the academically-successful sort of nerd that might have given him an advantage in life, instead being just a prototypical consoomer.

Funnily enough, Bob did have some early success by breaking into Youtube early. His first video was posted back in May 2006, barely a year after the site launched, and the Game OverEaterThinker started a couple years later. The idea of being an internet critic was new, and since it was still a small pond, Bob could stand out and build a following just because there weren't many other options. Standards were also considerably lower, so stringing still images together with rudimentary effects (at best) was acceptable for standard audiences.

But that was over a decade ago. As more and more people decided to try their hand at launching their own criticism channels, viewers had more to choose from, and would gravitate towards those that produced entertaining and engaging content. Those that invested in better equipment and taught themselves how to edit their videos more professionally would stand out even more, to the point where you can have a few drunks lampooning shitty B-movies for over an hour and get hundreds of thousands of views per video on a consistent basis. Hell, you can even do essentially what Bob does in just talking about a movie for ten minutes or so, couch it in a more entertaining persona, and blow his performance out of the water.

Bob, meanwhile, didn't really capitalize on his initial momentum. Sure, he managed to land jobs at various nerd-centric outlets, but none of those ended up truly lasting, either because the site itself was bought out by new owners that didn't keep him around (ScrewAttack, Geek.com), he got himself fired due to not learning how to shut the fuck up and stop antagonizing his audience (Escapist), or he was simply not worth keeping around any longer (Escapist the second time). His Patreon has been supporting him all this time because somehow there are over a thousand people dumber than MovieBob with enough disposable income to throw a few bucks a month his way, but he's really lucky that his living situation allows him to use that as his only source of income now that he's been fired from yet another steady gig. He's still making the same videos he always was, with the same production values and the same retarded opinions, and he's barely getting any views out of it, lucky to get into five figures. His subscriber count has been on a downward trend (though we can't see exactly how much thanks to Youtube obfuscating the real numbers), so he's really not building an audience anymore, and with the views he's getting, only about 10-20% of his subscribers are actively watching his videos. Who knows how many of those are decade-old accounts that haven't been signed into in years?

It's safe to say this isn't what Bob had in mind for his life's trajectory. He's mentioned before that he wishes he could have had the same career path that James Gunn did, going from schlock indie filmmaker to mainstream high-profile director, but instead he's stuck in the same rut he's been in for over a decade. He wants to be making movies, not just critiquing them, but he's never managed to move past where he first got started. He makes videos that barely anyone watches, he fails to grow his audience despite being promoted by big and big-ish names multiple times, and he no longer has anyone backing him up.

I dunno if Bob does in fact have narcissistic personality disorder like @Mola Ram suggested, but the fact he fits basically every description of the disorder sure does lean heavily into that. It also would explain why he's such a major antagonistic asshole to everyone that disagrees with him politically. He believes that his lot in life isn't the fault of his own laziness and refusal to improve, but actually the fault of the bullies of the world. Originally, this would be those who teased him in school, but he's come to associate "bully" with "anyone who isn't onboard with my personal political views 100%." He always had these tendencies, but like many other lolcows, Gamergate would be the impetus for him to start openly stating his hatred of the obsoletes, with Trump's election completely removing his filter. He seeks companionship with those who he believes should be his fellow travelers in the Superior Future™, and he wishes death and destruction on the Mayonnaise Ghouls from Sisterfuck County, Methsylvania who stole the future he earned. Entitlement seems like it's not even close to strong enough a word for Bob's beliefs.

I think that's what makes Bob fascinating as a lolcow, even if you have to take this thread in small doses sometimes. The difference between how he believes his life should be and how it actually turned out is what fuels his seething bile towards anyone he believes is standing in the way of his success. It's hilarious how he completely fails to understand that his problems are entirely his own doing. Truth is, he'll probably never figure this out on his own, so we'll likely have content for years to come. Assuming, of course, he doesn't die of an anger-induced heart attack if Trump gets reelected.
tl;dr: Bob's couched himself in delusions of grandeur, and the fact that his life isn't living up to his dreams is what makes him such a colossal asshole.
PS: He's a delusional moron.

Of course, what should we expect of someone that doesn't know the difference between a DVD drive and a HDD. And also thinks he can become Captain N.
 
Of course, what should we expect of someone that doesn't know the difference between a DVD drive and a HDD. And also thinks he can become Captain N.
To say nothing about how little he knows about the human brain and why it's unlikely that he will live long enough to download his consciousness into a robot body. Does he even know the difference between a neuron and a glial cell? (Power level: I took a basic neuroscience course in university, which I actually found quite interesting.)
 
To say nothing about how little he knows about the human brain and why it's unlikely that he will live long enough to download his consciousness into a robot body. Does he even know the difference between a neuron and a glial cell? (Power level: I took a basic neuroscience course in university, which I actually found quite interesting.)
He doesn’t because he was too busy annoying the science teacher why wasn’t he learning about robots and building air cars.
 
To say nothing about how little he knows about the human brain and why it's unlikely that he will live long enough to download his consciousness into a robot body. Does he even know the difference between a neuron and a glial cell? (Power level: I took a basic neuroscience course in university, which I actually found quite interesting.)
If I remember right there used to be a Star Trek character that was terrified of using the Star Trek transporter. I would probably be in the same boat as him because the idea of a machine destroying you atom by atom and recreating you somewhere else brings up a whole host of philosophical questions about the state of being and what it means to be a conscious living individual.

This is Star Trek being interesting and philosopical, but we're talking about Bob so he probably just wants Kirk punching red state obsolecents and fucking Asian women painted green.
 
If I remember right there used to be a Star Trek character that was terrified of using the Star Trek transporter. I would probably be in the same boat as him because the idea of a machine destroying you atom by atom and recreating you somewhere else brings up a whole host of philosophical questions about the state of being and what it means to be a conscious living individual.

This is Star Trek being interesting and philosopical, but we're talking about Bob so he probably just wants Kirk punching red state obsolecents and fucking Asian women painted green.
That was Bones. Or Doctor McKoy. And the show does address this at times. A transporter malfunction created a duplicate of William Riker in Next Gen.
 
That was Bones. Or Doctor McKoy. And the show does address this at times. A transporter malfunction created a duplicate of William Riker in Next Gen.
To say nothing of the horrific transporter malfunction in The Motion Picture that killed two crewmen, and caused them to scream out in agony as their bodies lost their shape.
"What we got back didn't live long...fortunately." Such a haunting line that nu-Trek wishes it could have come up with.

More on topic, imagining Bob trying to go through a transporter with Scotty yelling out "I'm givin' 'er all she's got!" is quite amusing. True irony would be Bob being too fat for his Superior Future™.
 
To say nothing of the horrific transporter malfunction in The Motion Picture that killed two crewmen, and caused them to scream out in agony as their bodies lost their shape.
"What we got back didn't live long...fortunately." Such a haunting line that nu-Trek wishes it could have come up with.

More on topic, imagining Bob trying to go through a transporter with Scotty yelling out "I'm givin' 'er all she's got!" is quite amusing. True irony would be Bob being too fat for his Superior Future™.
Scotty was too fat for his superior future, at least in the later years. Ironically, we also learned that Scotty was melodramatic about how much time he needed and how sever issues actually were. So maybe Scotty is a great role model for Bobbo. A fat drunk, who was too fucking lazy to do his job in a timely fashion.
 
I really don’t get how talking about an obsolete business model, is what he feels is a topic not just for a single podcast, but a series of them.

Yes video stores were a thing for a couple of decades, but you might as well do another series on drive in movies or how to use MS DOS. Get a job, Chris.
 
That was Bones. Or Doctor McKoy. And the show does address this at times. A transporter malfunction created a duplicate of William Riker in Next Gen.
It was also a thing in TNG, where Dr. Pulaski (the McCoy expy of Season 2) was of a similar mind; and also for a little while Lieutenant "Broccoli" Barclay as well.
 
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