Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[The tired cat]

No fucking idea; he seems to be saying offices are obsolete now that people are used to Zoom:
View attachment 1993003
Who saw Up in the Air and what does Clooney's character do?

Sorry for the double post. Anyway, Up In the Air is about a guy who's from this company that is sent out when someone needs to be let go from another firm, it's done mostly so the one who gets fired doesnt go berserk, does violent stuff and etc. Clooney's character is this sort of "pro" who's been traveling around and doing this for a while, then this girl comes in whose entire idea is to do it via Skype calls as she believes it's much faster and saves travel time. However, during one call the guy on the other end breaks down in tears and she doesn't know how to act in this situation, as Clooney tells her a personal interaction is more important than this whole Skype call thing. Not to mention, the movie does satire the whole "consoomer" angle, since both characters brag about their status and how they are such loyal consoomers that they get special perks for it.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Exactly!

One thing, I noticed about people like Bob(manchildren, nerds, tards, sjws/feminists) is that they crave power like the characters in their favorite shows and movies. Superpowers.

Bob and his ilk want the power and the benefits that come with it. But they don’t understand what it means to have it.

They also don’t understand that it’s not the power that makes them special.

Like Spider-Man’s greatest power isn’t his superpowers, it’s his character. His heart and mind. He’s a genius with a good heart who just wants to help others. That’s what makes him a hero.

I know I sound cheesy here but it’s true.

Going back to the days of the ancient Greek myths, the main purpose behind superheroes (or demigods) was to provide an ideal to look up to, or an object lesson on human weaknesss. (Example: stories of demigod heroes whose hubris leads to their own destruction, showing that even the greatest of people can succumb to their own flaws.) Superheroes aren't great because of their powers, they're great because of what they do with said powers - a hero is someone who gets powers and decides to use them for good, even if that good isn't in their own immediate interest. To people like Bobby, stories about superheroes are all about providing power fantasies to the manchildren who consoom them. "Make bad guy fall down go boom." If Bob got superpowers, they wouldn't make him an interesting person because he can't be corrupted (because he's already corrupt,) and he wouldn't do anything you wouldn't expect him to do. If anything, superpowers would make Bob into a boring, Z-list villain who gets punched by the real hero during one of Bob's tirades about mayo ghouls.

 

[Meriasek]

I still don't believe he's ever dated anyone, much less gotten to first base. All of his stories have that "My secret Canadian girlfriend" vibe to them. If he ever had gotten anywhere with a woman, we'd never hear the end of it on Twitter.

He once said he dated a businesswoman who used him as a beard. Pretty sure that's what he meant with "dating above his station".

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

At least he didn't say he didn't compare his dating life to "punching above his weight class" because we'd all know that's bullshit, or at least very unsightly.

I don't know. Is Amberlynn Reid single?

So what you're saying is that Bob would be Homelander from The Boys if he acquired Superman's powers.

If he was in The Boys he'd probably be exactly the same as he is in the real world - a fat unemployed man who's overly obsessed with superheroes and lusts over AOC Victoria Neuman.

Science is Magic! Get Properly Evolved you obsolete ghoul!

The Way he Randomly capitalises Words reminds me of our Autistic Hero.

Robert the Cassanova, who's even dated above his station, comments on male physique:

You are an "it" if you want to stop children being poisoned and castrated.

We aren't the people that want to live in pods and eat bugs.

That's you.

Bobby thinks it is a waste of money to imprison "Neo-Nazis"

Bob supports the death penalty?

Hmmmm.

Bobby's Angels with more Nazi talk. Bobby's solution to reformed "Nazis": rat out your Nazi friends so we can squash them like flies.

Once again, Blob's viewpoints are a reaction to Christianity. The Church has always taught that baptismal regeneration exists; Blob therefore denies both it and the forgiveness of sins.

Yet banning puberty blockers will totally kill our kids, right?

I find it scary that ”do this or we'll 41%” is considered a legitimate argument instead of manipulation.

I'll answer that when you tell me who killed Aaron Jay Danielson, who tried to lynch Kyle Rittenhouse, and who burnt down Minneapolis.

 

[blablabla]

I got nothing.
View attachment 1993342

fairy tales have existed centuries before disney made moopies about them bob you pants shitting retardo

 

[Oliver Onions]

I don't know. I'd be unsurprised if he kicks the bucket tomorrow, but I'd also be unsurprised if he lives until he's 80.

I can definitely see him being one of those hangers-on who defies all medical science and makes it to 80 purely because he's too much of a miserable sack of shit to die.

His stories about dating remind me of chavvy Year 7's declaring that they totally fucked 30 people.

They have a definite 'she goes to a different school, you wouldn't know her' vibe, and it lines up with the ass-kick fantasies he also likes to indulge in; like that one about when he was at the riot and a cop in tacticool armour was intimidated by his absolute unit status.

I don't think there's anything Disney can do to the Predator or Alien franchises that hasn't already been done. Those series have been fucked in every hole. Maybe they'll add them to STAAAAAAAAAR WAAAAAAAAAARS!!! YEAH I FUCKING LOVE STAR WAAAAAAARS!!!

I can already picture the teaser trailer with the Predator stepping off the ship and the camera pulls out to reveal a lightsaber hilt that powers on as the screen cuts to black.

No wait, wait...it's Xenomorphs crawling off the ship and a Predator hand holding the lightsaber. Cut me that fucking check, Disney.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

A real Shrek parody of modern Disney would have the villain as a rich Hollywood executive who makes millions of gold coins endlessly pumping out corporate franchises based on Fairy Tale creatures, exploiting and enslaving them while also pretending to be champion for their rights in public. His evil plan would be to capture Shrek and his friends and either have them locked away due to not being marketable enough or trying to force them to be actors for him so he can pump out endless waves of disposable merchandise and media that drooling stooges like MovieBob desperately crave.

And Bob would scream and cry about it for years because it would shit on his entire lifestyle and everything he believes.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Another epic own to Tate Reeves. I have to look up what Little Nightmares is.
View attachment 1992963

Little Nightmares is a side-scrolling stealth game. You play as a little (and I do mean little; either she's only a few inches tall or everything else is extremely large) girl named Six who's trapped in a ship called The Maw. Six needs to escape, and has to dodge horrifying monsters to do it. The game has very little UI to distract from the player's immersion in the game (for example, no "Press X to grab" when you're next to a ledge.)

Bob seems to be comparing Tate Reeves to one of the grotesque monsters from the game.

Spoiler: Promotional image

Six is the little girl in the yellow raincoat.

However, Moviebob himself looks like he stepped out of the game too.

Spoiler: Game Spoilers

Late in the game, Six encounters gluttonous monsters who try to catch and devour her. These creatures are morbidly obese and obsessed with consooming products.

Sound familiar?

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Little Nightmares is a side-scrolling stealth game. You play as a little (and I do mean little; either she's only a few inches tall or everything else is extremely large) girl named Six who's trapped in a ship called The Maw. Six needs to escape, and has to dodge horrifying monsters to do it. The game has very little UI to distract from the player's immersion in the game (for example, no "Press X to grab" when you're next to a ledge.)

Bob seems to be comparing Tate Reeves to one of the grotesque monsters from the game.

Spoiler: Promotional image

Six is the little girl in the yellow raincoat.

View attachment 1993751

However, Moviebob himself looks like he stepped out of the game too.

Spoiler: Game Spoilers

Late in the game, Six encounters gluttonous monsters who try to catch and devour her. These creatures are morbidly obese and obsessed with consooming products.

Sound familiar?
View attachment 1993761

Add a goatee and sunglasses to either of those things and watch people think its a photo of Bob.

 

[The Nothingness]

Personally, I'm dreading what Disney will do with the Alien, Predator, and Planet Of The Apes franchises now that they have access to all three of them (the latter especially, since the former two were already pretty fucked before Disney purchased Fox).

For the Apes franchise, I can see Disney making a reboot that focuses on the caste system the original mentioned but said it was now abolished. Still you could see elements of it where the gorillas (the "black" apes) were in grunt occupations (military and law enforcement), the orangutans (the "white" apes) were politicians and religious leaders, and the chimpanzees (the "black and white" apes) were intellectuals and scientists but were still oppressed by the orangutans.

Since the original film series and the Serkis trilogy both had chimpanzee protagonists, Disney could go for woke points by making a gorilla the main protagonists. But I don't know how well the Serkis trilogy did in China so Disney may not even touch this franchise if it does not appease the Chinese market.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Tate Reeves may look like a sunburned thumb with no chin, but he has been a very competent and popular politician. Throughout his career as state treasurer, lieutenant governor, and now governor, he has conducted himself with honesty and integrity. He's completely clean and even runs positive campaigns.

He's also managed to marry and raise children, something Bob can't even dream of.

None of this matters to Bobbo because Tate Reeves has an R next to his name. Meanwhile, hideous gremlins like Jerry Nadler, gin-soaked face-melters like Nancy Pelosi and Debbie Dingell, and living examples of le happy merchant like Chuck Schumer get complete passes on their looks because they have a D next to their names.

But if Bob didn't have double standards, he'd have no standards at all.

 

[BubbleButt]

Bob only likes Superman because he's wearing Mario colors

 

[The tired cat]

Bob only likes Superman because he's wearing Mario colors

Either that or Bobo really enjoys all of "Superdickery" moments and thinks that's how he would have acted if he had Supermans powers.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Bob is a relic of the past who refuses to adapt to the future. All of his gawking about the SUPERIOR FUTURE rings very hollow for an obsolete relic who is constantly bleeding YouTube subscribers and fails to adapt to ever changing standards. He's too far gone to change and he is destined to forever swim in failure.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Is this the real reason Bob hates Elon?

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370622039074222082

https://archive.ph/u9Cdv

I'm pretty sure he's made more than one spaceship work but what do I know.

Bob sees himself doing great things.

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370642864007438336

https://archive.ph/pkQ1k

Spoiler: vid

What Bob probably means by "frustrated" is that the lady filming says at the 22 second mark "instead of refinishing our kitchen cabinets, he decided to build a video rental store." which, yeah, I believe is grounds to be frustrated. You don't put off things like fixing your kitchen or house so you can do completely pointless money sinks like building a faux video rental store or 18 podcasts. Not that I expect Bob to be able to comprehend such things.

This won't happen for a multiplicity of reasons such as:

-You don't own a house to do this
-You lack the foresight to plan ahead
-You lack the ability to build anything
-Chris lacks the competency to build anything
-Neither of you have the money to build this
-It would require actual, physical work AND effort on your part
-etcetera

but I wouldn't be opposed to Bob getting baby bubba Chris to take out yet another mortgage to pay someone else to do it. Just please film it.

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Is this the real reason Bob hates Elon?

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370622039074222082

https://archive.ph/u9Cdv

View attachment 1994063
I'm pretty sure he's made more than one spaceship work but what do I know.

I'm sure he thinks that it's a simple matter of Elon being too busy with cars and batteries and not-flamethrowers to yell at the right people or push the right buttons to do the thing now now NOW, and if someone smarter, more responsible, and with greater vision (Blob or one of his waifus) came along into Elon's chair, they'd have card carrying American progressives in the White House, on the moon, mars, the ocean floor, and uploaded within cyberspace by the end of the week.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

Goddamn it Elon get on that fucking gantry with a fucking wrench and fix your fucking spaceship right this instant or so fucking help me I'm revoking your fucking Social Media privileges!

(Rolls over.)

Dear DiaryTwitter, Guiding others is such hard work. They're just not smart enough to see the grand vision that's so obvious to me.

 

[Totally Awesome]

View attachment 1994063

Go help make the spaceships then, asshole.

 

[make_it_so]

Is this the real reason Bob hates Elon?

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370622039074222082

https://archive.ph/u9Cdv

View attachment 1994063
I'm pretty sure he's made more than one spaceship work but what do I know.

Pretty sure that's not how that works, Bob.

 

[King Dead]

Is this the real reason Bob hates Elon?

https://twitter.com/the_moviebob/status/1370622039074222082

https://archive.ph/u9Cdv

View attachment 1994063
I'm pretty sure he's made more than one spaceship work but what do I know.

There's a whole lotta irony in Bobby yelling at someone else to get off of Twitter and go be productive, completely oblivious to how much his life would improve the second he dropped it.