Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Chad Holdenford]

We all have nostalgia over something. I myself link certain pop culture pieces to good periods of time in my lifetime. TV shows, movies, video games, songs, snacks, you name it.

But then I think to myself three things: One, those were just products that formed part of a whole. Why do I have such fond memories of those products? In part, it's because of the experiences too. Sharing those things with your friends, the novelty and thrills of trying them for the first time, finding them fun and fulfilling.

Two, our memories are also comprised of experiences. For instance, don't we all remember fun family gatherings, romps with our friends and family members in our cities, playtime in the streets or during school recess?

Three, and perhaps more importantly, it's all in the past now. Hell, several of those things are no longer good when you try them as a grown person. The people you met in your childhood moved on and may not even remember you anymore. Attempts to "recreate" those experiences will most likely leave you unfulfilled, which may lead to a vicious cycle of seeking more and more pieces of nostalgia to get that dopamine kick again.

I say this because that's exactly what happened to me not too long ago, and pardon for the power-leveling here. There was a period of time in my life when I was so down in the dumps, the only thing that made me happy was to look fondly at my childhood and all the nice experiences I had, including all the pop culture crap I consumed back then. But then it hit me that this was just escapism, a way to cope with my then-current situation and remain in a comfort zone I did not want to get out of.

The point is, the humanoid piece of rancid cookie dough has only those pieces of pop culture to remind him of good times. That is a very sad way to go on with your life, because you're paralyzing yourself inside an idealized version of your past, so you don't have to face your present and work on your future. The porker here embraces this fully because it's all he has. Chances are that the copious amounts of alcohol he drinks also serve to him to feel light and without a care in the world, like when he was like a child. It would be sad, if it wasn't this abhorrent excuse for a human being inflicting it upon himself.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Let's review Bobert's Childhood.

It was so pathetic his only "friend" was a Video Game System's Mascot.

He was picked on (Probably rightfully due to him being a little cunt) so much it still affects him to this day and is the source of his rage filled view of the world.

His teachers thought he was such a dunce they wanted him in special education or put on drugs can't remember exactly which but his parents wrongly didn't agree too which ever it was.

He mentioned being so screwed up he was in therapy at one time.

His only "girlfriend" experience by his own admission and even this sounds fake but it's pathetically being the beard for some dyke who let him go down on her.

Seriously if this was your "Good Old Days" just fucking end it now IMO.

 

[cypocryphy]

Yeah, part of why I like I like certain movies and video games from the 1990's was because I experienced them with friends...for Bob I think the movies and games were his friends.

Ok, yes...this guy was pretty dumb. But damn, Bob lol.

 

[UserAccess]

God, this is pathetic.

Is Bob this much of a bitch whenever he glances over at his Funko Pops? I don't understand how he's not completely numb to this nostalgia-bait shit by now.


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This is the fundamental issue with being a narcissistic sack of pulp like Moviebob. Here's his quote that explains it all:

"I was momentarily transported back to a period in my life when nothing was as bad as it is now, or didn't feel like it, and the unexpected jolt was not pleasant."

I don't care that he finds solace in pop culture crap. If something smells like that pink antibiotic liquid I had to take as a kid, I get lost for a minute thinking about my parents taking care of me when I was sick and how nice it was. I'm sure the same thing can apply for Home Alone or whatever.

No, it's the history of Bob's hostile, inflammatory declarations that draw a target on his fat chest every day. His counter to criticism is to reinforce how awesome he is.

Career sucks? No accomplishments? I'm co-writing with superstar Youtuber Matpat, friendo.

Fat? Out of shape? Vile eating habits? I bench 315 (something 0.1% of the population can do, by the way) and I've lost a human's worth of weight, champ. And here's a picture of a fifty dollar steak swimming in McCormick's powdered turkey gravy. I think I know a thing or two about good food, nazi.

Virgin? Don't think so. I get my dick wet at will, chud.

So let's look at that quote again, but with special attention to the bolded. "I was momentarily transported back to a period in my life when nothing was as bad as it is now, or didn't feel like it, and the unexpected jolt was not pleasant."

What's bad? All evidence suggests Bob's life is fucking awesome. His books are *profitable!* Mad puss is around every corner! The Sultan of Brunei should be so lucky! What the fuck is so bad about it?

Then again, it's possible that Moviebob is that guy you hate at work. Had a good weekend? He had a GREAT weekend. Saw Angela Kinsey at an airport? He had drinks with Ellie Kemper. The reverse, concerning misery, is also true. If you got beaten up by your dad, his did that and then put his cigarette out in Bob's eye.

Narcissistic trash is a lot of things, but honest is never one of them. People that have nothing fabricate delusional stories to cope with their lack of value. A certain kind of delusional person flocks to this kind of personality. In exchange for buying Bob's bullshit about being an elite critic, writer, and sex machine, he supports their delusion hating their sad genitals makes them a woman.

edit: removed double quote

 

[Adamska]

Let's review Bobert's Childhood.

It was so pathetic his only "friend" was a Video Game System's Mascot.

This was mostly due to his antisocial behavior yeah. I constantly say he peaked at 8 or 9 entirely because there was a few weeks/months that he had both Mario 3 before anyone else, but also had all the deets due to getting Ma and Pa Chipman to put money into getting Nintendo Power mags so he could lord it over them with the magazine's info.

Basically that one obnoxious kid that tried to use his toys to get friends.

He was picked on (Probably rightfully due to him being a little cunt) so much it still affects him to this day and is the source of his rage filled view of the world.

Pretty much, though add in he tried to become one of them by trying to bully kids he thought as being weaker and stupider than him. So, you know, spec ed kids.

His teachers thought he was such a dunce they wanted him in special education or put on drugs can't remember exactly which but his parents wrongly didn't agree too which ever it was.

Oh no, he was just such a defiant and tantrum spewing kid even his own parents thought he needed help; they just gave up because he refused to do therapy and wasn't beaten until morale improved.

They did however coddle his delusions of adequacy and allowed him to pretend he's like the nerds on TV though.

He mentioned being so screwed up he was in therapy at one time.

Mostly for sympathy points since he refused to listen. He's also admitted that Mario is the big reason he didn't kill himself too.

His only "girlfriend" experience by his own admission and even this sounds fake but it's pathetically being the beard for some dyke who let him go down on her.

Yeah it's fake.

Seriously if this was your "Good Old Days" just fucking end it now IMO.

He won't. He's terrified of there being nothing and he wants to be miserable forever.

Well honestly he wants to be in the Matrix Bing Bing Wahooing forever tbh.

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

@Grumpy Pickle Rick I would probably add Vril Dox II/Brainiac 2 and the Prince Gavyn incarnation of Starman to your Justice League of Space. The former would add some conflict given how much of an unrepentant and manipulative asshole he is. Plus, given how the concept would be similar to a latter day Legion, maybe add members from their homeworlds?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

When I encounter someone in dire straits, I sometimes ask myself, “Would I rather be this person or MovieBob?” I’ve yet to meet someone whose life is so fucked that I’d prefer being MovieBob to them. It’s impossible for a human to A-log him, yet he’s being A-logged by life. Poetic justice.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Adamska can't quote you but I agree it's 9 out 10 fake with only the smallest chance the ugliest dyke on Earth used him as a beard and Bobert had her running out of the closet by the end.

But Jesus imagine being so pathetic that even in your own made up story about having a girlfriend she still isn't sexually attracted to you. Blobby is a loser even in his own fantasies.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Bob has had the same goals since he was a kid, which is to play Mario and watch movies, so the idea of adults having shifting goals and priorities looks like failure to him.

 

[TowinKarz]

Whenever someone starts crying about "those good ol' days" - I have to ask them.

You remember, if you actually lived in the early 90's, all the stuff they said we kids were doing wrong and we were the worst generation ever? (with our murder simulators and skateboards) And we'd all be dead before we could grow up due to societal collapse? (because we didn't respect our parents and had no work ethic?) And how Grandpa's generation was the LAST good one?

Yeah, there WAS no good ol days, the "it's worse now" is always an affect of the fact that everything will look worse compared to your childhood.

Remember how we looked at those yelling at us back then for being "no good kids" and wondered "what's their beef?"

Bob's falling into the same trap.

There's a one-time-only joy to growing up, but you can only do it once. Trying to do it again never works. Disappointment lies in that direction. I miss the days when I could open a book and everything in it would be new, when I wouldn't see obvious plot points coming in movies, when jump scares in a horror flick actually worked.... and on and on and on. But, when those things no longer thrilled me, after initial disappointment, I found other new things to do "for the first time" that could give the same feel -

Like learning how to drive a truck and then using that to start a career..... yeah, capeshit movies and TV shows seem very far away and distant now, but not in a bad way, but as in that box of old baby clothes and 1st grade art-projects - I moved on from that, not because I no longer like them, but I could no longer get USE from them.

 

[blablabla]

im going to close my podcast so im not, in blobbos retarded mind, a colleague of the shitta. my lord what a fag. are we sure he isnt gay?

 

[mandatorylurk]

im going to close my podcast so im not, in blobbos retarded mind, a colleague of the shitta. my lord what a fag. are we sure he isnt gay?

Blob is gay but unable to recognize or accept it. Every thing about the man is fake and gay. Straight guys don't obsess over lesbian porn like he does, and his anger issues also seem to hide the confirmed for gay. At some point we're going to see him justify getting jerked or sucked off by a tranny or lady boy and that will be the real domino.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Let's review Bobert's Childhood.

It was so pathetic his only "friend" was a Video Game System's Mascot.

He was picked on (Probably rightfully due to him being a little cunt) so much it still affects him to this day and is the source of his rage filled view of the world.

His teachers thought he was such a dunce they wanted him in special education or put on drugs can't remember exactly which but his parents wrongly didn't agree too which ever it was.

He mentioned being so screwed up he was in therapy at one time.

His only "girlfriend" experience by his own admission and even this sounds fake but it's pathetically being the beard for some dyke who let him go down on her.

Seriously if this was your "Good Old Days" just fucking end it now IMO.

This is all if you actually believe his childhood was "OH SO TERRIBLE" which I have problems buying.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

> 1492 is also when the Spanish Inquisition started

I'm curious. Has anyone found Tomás de Torquemada's MAGA hat?

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

Yeah, part of why I like I like certain movies and video games from the 1990's was because I experienced them with friends...for Bob I think the movies and games were his friends.

Ok, yes...this guy was pretty dumb. But damn, Bob lol.

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There's bound to be a number of idiots in any population. I could probably go on Twitter right now and find a tweet from some refugee-lover who later got stabbed and raped by an immigrant. The difference is, I wouldn't dance on that person's grave. I'd only post it as an object lesson that idealism can sometimes blow up in a person's face. I would also be afraid of getting put on Karma's target radar, or looking unseemly to passers-by, if I revelled too much in the death of someone who disagreed with me. Bob obviously feels the Universe is completely on his side and that there will be no repercussions to his behavior. Bob thinks that even the God he doesn't believe in would be patting him on the pack and saying "Good job, son."

Know what would be "good", Bob? You being at the end of a Humiliation Conga Line so severe that it made you shut your fat mouth up forever. But we all know the only thing that's going to shut up MovieBob's mouth is a wad of chicken nuggets so wide it cuts off his airways and kills him. However he goes, it's got an over 90 percent chance of being self-inflicted in some way. No wonder he wants to escape to a time when he could be a tremendous douche and consoom with fervor, yet still have a relatively healthy body free of pain and a family waiting on him hand and foot.

 

[link1234]

When I encounter someone in dire straits, I sometimes ask myself, “Would I rather be this person or MovieBob?” I’ve yet to meet someone whose life is so fucked that I’d prefer being MovieBob to them. It’s impossible for a human to A-log him, yet he’s being A-logged by life. Poetic justice.

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Bob did not take that dunk very well.

Edit: LOL

 

[A Very Big Fish]

The tough guy, thinker, and knight of the superior fyucha, gets blown out by some random 23 year old. Lol.

 

[blablabla]

The tough guy, thinker, and knight of the superior fyucha, gets blown out by some random 23 year old. Lol.

he should have impressed with his guns or fighting some CHUDS!


robert should be happy that he is reliving things from his childhood and younger years: an atractive woman telling him to stop being a sex pest and fuck off

that should count for something right movie bob? right? movie bob? robert? right?

 

[melcarba99]

I mean, nothing wrong with being a little nostalgic about childhood, but unless you are a complete failure as a person, regardless of money issues, adulthood is about turning dreams into reality, or exploring new possibilities.

 

[BlerdBjern]

When I encounter someone in dire straits, I sometimes ask myself, “Would I rather be this person or MovieBob?” I’ve yet to meet someone whose life is so fucked that I’d prefer being MovieBob to them. It’s impossible for a human to A-log him, yet he’s being A-logged by life. Poetic justice.

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I think i would prefer being Bob over being Nick Bate or Chris Chan.

But that's pretty much it.