Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[JayHarrison]

Someone told a story about Norm MacDonald. This is Bobby's response:
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All Bobby's "jokes" are about violence, and they leave you wonder who cut off his sack.

You mean to tell me Moviebob actually had testicles at some point in his life?

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I have no problems with taxing the rich. The problem I have is with what that revenue is being used for. As far as I'm concerned, handling America's national debt is the single most important issue this country needs to get control of! The next person worthy of the title U.S. President (meaning anyone who isn't Vice Prostitute Kamala) needs to cut wasteful spending ASAP!

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Bobby and co wax lyrical about the stratagem of Queen Ocasio-Cortez
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AOC could string together a selection of randomly generated words forming a sentence, and Bob would still consider it intelligent.

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What non-sequitur, and what the fuck is "moral capital"?

When it comes to "moral capital", Moviebob's account has always been at zero.

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"You are just jealous that rich people get laid!!!!"
("Sweet sweet Alexandria, who is tending your rose bush tonight?")
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Twitter user CabeyCabe: It's disingenuous to pretend [the Met Gala] was a normal party [...] it's just a buch of unfathomably rich and powerful people in silly costumes...

Moviebob, the wealthless: You're not [...] disproving the thesis that y'all are just butthurt that you didn't get to go...

By that standard, Bob should be butthurt because he didn't get a chance to (s)talk with AOC as she wore her thrift-store dress.

Moviebob, who's secrety butthurt: *I* didn't get an invite either? I just have reasonably managed expectations...

Other than wanting to wipe out people who don't toe your political line?

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Glenn Greenwald excoriates AOC and her Squad. (Twitter thread; Substack article)
Here's Bobby's conclusion.
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Thinkers and Believers™. It's getting quite obvious that Moviebob won't come up with new material becausse he's not capable of coming up with new material.

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Bobby thinks all workers work 9 to 5, which is especially funny because he thinks "creatives", most of whom have no fixed hours, belong in the working class.
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What Moviebob doesn't realize is that owning a business is also work: Inventory tabulations; budget balancing; human resource management...

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WTF?

Is AOC pretty? Maybe.

Is AOC smart? Ho, HELL, no!

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Moviebob isn't a satirist. He's a worse parody of an already bad parody of a film critic.

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Boring shit about Oklahoma and White Nationalism. Why not turn War on Drugs into War on White People?
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Potential TOS violation number [I lost count] that Moviebob's guilty of committing.

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Americans should HOPE that Democrats aren't always in power. In fact, Americans should HOPE that Democrats lose as much power as possible in as short a time frame as possible.

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Good luck.

Potential TOS violation number [I lost count +1] that Moviebob's guilty of committing.

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Mah precious JEWZ!
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Shut up, Talibob!

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An Uncle Tom will never be as good-looking as a white man:
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Moviebob once again proving he's an overt racist. Nothing new to see here, folks!

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Bobby thinks whatever that kills a civilian deserves a medal:
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Shut up, Nazibob.

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Bobby tries to start a feud with Michael Tracy, who, unlike Bobby, has a book contract and has at least one famous woman finding him hot:

And, unlike Moviebob, Michael Tracy has a functioning brain.

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Your weekly reminder that Cancel Culture doesn't exist...
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... and your daily reminder that women finds him gross.

Not all women find Moviebob gross. Only those with intelligence, morals, and functional eyes find Moviebob disgusting.

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According to Moviebob, Farmer Alfalfa and Blacksmith Fox aren't legitimate workers.

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Fat white creep creeps on Pocahontas:
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Lol what fucking context can this tweet be taken out of?

One. Moviebob isn't a family-friendly being.

Two. Those pictures aren't of Elizabeth Warren, so you can't say that Moviebob is a fat, white creep creeping on Pocahontas.

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There is literally no way Moviebob's sense of humor coudl have been inspired by Norm MacDonald. If anything, I figure Moviebob's sense of humor was a fusion of Lenny Bruce's nihilism, Sam Kinison's abrasiveness, and Andrew Dice Clay's rampant misogyny.

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"Shooting the messager" is a perfectly good tactic for defending AOC:
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Corrected version: No one owes an apology to Moviebob for anything. Bob's lucky that anyone still induled his wildly inaccurate version of reality and allows him to dwell on anything except the toilet set.

I fucking hate Moviebob.

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The white man savior remains victorious over the Uncle Tom:
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Wait a minute. If voting against Barack Obama in 2008 was labeled as "racist" by fuvkwits like Moviebob, shouldn't voting against Larry Elder be considered racist in 2021? I'm not changing the rules; I'm looking to use Moviebob's own rules against him.

And, as an adendum: It's strange how Moviebob is saying how "the Good Ship MAGA collides with REALITY", seeing as how he perpetually avoids engaging with reality every chance he gets. I really, REALLY fucking despise Moviebob.

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Mike Milley, the never-combatant Chairman of Joined Chief of Staff who pushes CRT hard, has admitted to fraternize with China.
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Moviebob's hatred of America is very well documented, so it comes at no surprise to me--and anyone whose reading comprehension level is above preschool level--that he'd support someone who is accused of (and very likely committed) actual treason against the U.S.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

It's so fucking pathetic how Bob thinks these bigwig Hollywood cocksuckers care about him and want to make his life better.

Call me a nihilist or whatever, but I've accepted that nobody gives a fuck about me and nobody is coming to "save" me.

I agree. One thing, I hate about people like Bob is that they’re so weak.

Real life is not a Disney movie. It’s not a cartoon, its not a Harry Potter book and it’s not an anime.

No one is coming to our rescue.

You gotta be your own damn hero.

 

[make_it_so]

He doesn't read and didn't like the movies, so he doesn't understand the appeal and so assumes that it's a dead fad instead of an enduring franchise. Because if he doesn't care about it, no one else should. And if they do, it's yet another sign that he's better than most people.

Which is weird because he wants the characters to appear in a Justice League movie but I think that's just because he's autistic.

He really doesn't like to think about how things he dislikes have massive fanbases.

Whenever he talks about the Joker movie, he tries to speak of it like this huge misfire that bombed and now nobody remembers it. That's not the case at all.

Same with the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. He talks about it like it was this failure that everybody hated, even though it's getting a sequel, and has a higher Rotten Tomatoes score than that Rampage movie he loves so much.

I've said before, but Bob is literally a child in a misshapen, diabetic 40-year old man's body. He likes what he likes and thinks that if anyone else doesn't like what he likes that means they're a dumb dumb and a big poopy-head. He carries this attitude to everything - pop culture, politics, job choices, and of course most famously in his attitude about entire sections of the country. He wants the South and Midwest to die because he never emotionally matured beyond fucking four.

 

[Tranimal Farm]

I've said before, but Bob is literally a child in a misshapen, diabetic 40-year old man's body. He likes what he likes and thinks that if anyone else doesn't like what he likes that means they're a dumb dumb and a big poopy-head. He carries this attitude to everything - pop culture, politics, job choices, and of course most famously in his attitude about entire sections of the country. He wants the South and Midwest to die because he never emotionally matured beyond fucking four.

Bob acts and thinks as though George W was still the president. I think thats where his development must've halted. Harry Potter being cancelled isn't gonna effect him, you gotta get Mario cancelled to the same degree, then he'd probably 41%. I bet if you tried hard enough you could get a crowd of twitter spergs to cancel Mario for being fascist cause italian.

 

[LiquidKid]

Spoiler: powerlevel

In my secondary school we had a house system and the houses were named after planets in the solar system, hows THAT for horoscope. (I was Jupiter btw, Mercury can lick my asshole)

Yeah the point about everything being black and white is a good one, I would have liked if Slytherins had at least one genuinely good character who challanged our preconceptions instead of it literally just being the house you end up in if you're a racist/blood supremacist. Maybe in the 4th book if we got a Slytherin instead of Cedric Diggory who was maybe a little nice to Harry and who he built a bit of respect for, before getting killed in the graveyard at the end. Of course that would have robbed Hufflepuff of their only good character and basically would have solidified their reputation as the sped house, but worth imo

Spoiler: Similar power level

My 6th grade class had a table system based on Native American tribes, because hippy California elementary school. Ironically the rivalry between the different tables, because we had a point system to get rewards like extra recess, it formed into what could only be described as unintentional tribalism with lots of remarks that would sound racist to said native Americans tribes if taken out of context. In hindsight, it was hilarious.

Malfoy is technically the Slytherin with the heart of gold. Yeah he’s a Hitler youth until the very end, but he shows his true feelings later on because all women wanna tame their bad boy.
One could also argue Snape was the one true Slytherin because he was always a double agent.
That said, the “all Slytherins are evil” is necessary for their viewpoint because that can translate to “all republicans are bad” or “all conservatives are bad.” It was done that way in the book because J.K. Isn’t a very good writer and children’s books in general cant have too much ambiguity or kids won’t get the intended message, but it served the Bob’s of the world by giving them trendy buzz words to use and allowed them to easily indoctrinate children

 

[Tranimal Farm]

Spoiler: Similar power level

My 6th grade class had a table system based on Native American tribes, because hippy California elementary school. Ironically the rivalry between the different tables, because we had a point system to get rewards like extra recess, it formed into what could only be described as unintentional tribalism with lots of remarks that would sound racist to said native Americans tribes if taken out of context. In hindsight, it was hilarious.

Malfoy is technically the Slytherin with the heart of gold. Yeah he’s a Hitler youth until the very end, but he shows his true feelings later on because all women wanna tame their bad boy.
One could also argue Snape was the one true Slytherin because he was always a double agent.
That said, the “all Slytherins are evil” is necessary for their viewpoint because that can translate to “all republicans are bad” or “all conservatives are bad.” It was done that way in the book because J.K. Isn’t a very good writer and children’s books in general cant have too much ambiguity or kids won’t get the intended message, but it served the Bob’s of the world by giving them trendy buzz words to use and allowed them to easily indoctrinate children

I wouldnt say it's so much "all Slytherins are evil" more like "all Slytherins are racist" IMO the Slytherin who was the best overall person was Slughorn, but even he wasn't free from prejudice, saying Harry's mom was one of his favorite students because she was so talented "for a muggleborn". So he was a bigotry of low expectations racist, but a racist nonetheless. (He'd fit in nicely in the Democratic Party) Malfoy had plenty of racist moments and even Snape called Lily the M word, probably cause all his peers who he lived with were all racists, and he did feel that being magic made them "special". Honestly it's funny to see liberal women romanticize Slytherins as uwu sad misguided softboys who need me to save them if you just imagine it being real life racism instead of fantasy pseudo-racism, and try to picture them acting the same way.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

He really doesn't like to think about how things he dislikes have massive fanbases.

Whenever he talks about the Joker movie, he tries to speak of it like this huge misfire that bombed and now nobody remembers it. That's not the case at all.

Same with the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. He talks about it like it was this failure that everybody hated, even though it's getting a sequel, and has a higher Rotten Tomatoes score than that Rampage movie he loves so much.

Exactly. Or when Venom came out, he responded to every promotional piece saying the actors are clearly lying about having fun on set because it's a movie about Venom.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

The fact that movie bob is surprised a corporation would still sell something with the Harry Potter brand speaks volumes to his credibility as a pop culture critic. As if he still had any.

He’d be all for it if Disney passive aggressively tried to acquire the Harry Potter brand.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I agree. One thing, I hate about people like Bob is that they’re so weak.

Real life is not a Disney movie. It’s not a cartoon, its not a Harry Potter book and it’s not an anime.

No one is coming to our rescue.

You gotta be your own damn hero.

People like Bob expect to be GIVEN the chance to be the hero.
If you have to be GIVEN hero status, then you aren't a hero.

Bob waits for the day he's given his powerful robo-suit, he waits for the day a politician will notice his hot takes and promote him to some important status, he waits for the day a cute feminist senpai will give him a pee-pee touch.
He sits in his basement waiting on his time to shine, and grows increasingly more angry the longer it takes to come about.

 

[A Watchful Ghost]

People like Bob expect to be GIVEN the chance to be the hero.
If you have to be GIVEN hero status, then you aren't a hero.

Bob waits for the day he's given his powerful robo-suit, he waits for the day a politician will notice his hot takes and promote him to some important status, he waits for the day a cute feminist senpai will give him a pee-pee touch.
He sits in his basement waiting on his time to shine, and grows increasingly more angry the longer it takes to come about.

The worst part is the motherfucker thinks he deserves such a chance to be given. He deserves to have power to be a hero. He thinks he knows what is best for the people and what they should strive for. And how the people making products should never be held accountable whenever they fuck up.

Bob's ego and delusion of grandeur have always been like this. That's why it is hard at times to not A-log him. Because no matter how many Ls he takes. He still is incapable of reading the room, not learning why do people hate him. For him, the rest are wrong for saying it and he is a martyr for speaking his mind.

 

[Tronathon242]

He’d be all for it if Disney passive aggressively tried to acquire the Harry Potter brand.

They probably do have enough money to do it. I mean, it can't be as valuable as Star Wars once was, can it?

People like Bob expect to be GIVEN the chance to be the hero.
If you have to be GIVEN hero status, then you aren't a hero.

Bob waits for the day he's given his powerful robo-suit, he waits for the day a politician will notice his hot takes and promote him to some important status, he waits for the day a cute feminist senpai will give him a pee-pee touch.
He sits in his basement waiting on his time to shine, and grows increasingly more angry the longer it takes to come about.

It's the worst kind of gibs. It's not only just expecting them or even demanding them, it's punishing everyone else because you didn't get them.

I agree. One thing, I hate about people like Bob is that they’re so weak.

Real life is not a Disney movie. It’s not a cartoon, its not a Harry Potter book and it’s not an anime.

No one is coming to our rescue.

You gotta be your own damn hero.

The problem is that real life often isn't kind to heroes, just ask Stilicho or Aetius where their heroics got them in the end. The good thing about Bob's weakness is that he's not going to try to be the hero of his own tale, such is the nature of his gibs mentality.

To close this out, was there ever a point where Bob wanted retribution enacted against openly conservative/pro-MAGA military soldiers and officers? His response to Benedict Milley committing treason to slight the Orange Man surely is a lot lighter compared to what he must have thought of serving soldiers wearing MAGA hats for Trump to sign on one of his base visits.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

it's punishing everyone else because you didn't get them.

To be fair though, is Bob Chipman really punishing anyone?

He just wastes away, angrily cooming, consooming and spitting off hot takes from his basement while we watch, laugh at him, and then get on with our daily lives.

 

[JayHarrison]

I've said before, but Bob is literally a child in a [...] man's body. He [...] thinks that if anyone else doesn't like what he likes that means they're a dumb dumb and a big poopy-head. He carries this attitude to everything - pop culture, politics, job choices, and [...] in his attitude about entire sections of the country. He wants the South and Midwest to die because he never emotionally matured beyond fucking four.

Four is giving Bob twice the credit he deserves.

Bob acts and thinks as though George W was still the president. I think thats [sic] where his development must've halted.

As Bob said earlier, he's still holding on to September 10, 2001. It's impossible to look toward the fyuuchaa if you keep looking back on the past. Being the great Thinker™ that he is, you'd think Bob would realize that by now.

People like Bob expect to be GIVEN the chance to be the hero.
If you have to be GIVEN hero status, then you aren't a hero.

With a hero like Moviebob, the world would NEVER need a villain.

Bob waits for the day he's given his powerful robo-suit, he waits for the day a politician will notice his hot takes and promote him to some important status, he waits for the day a cute feminist senpai will give him a pee-pee touch.
He sits in his basement waiting on his time to shine, and grows increasingly more angry the longer it takes to come about.

Let him stay in his basement. Let him stay angry. That's the future Moviebob actually has earned, not the dream of speaking (poorly) toward robots and extraterrestreal life because he votes the same way every single time.

The worst part is the motherfucker thinks he deserves [...] to have power to be a hero. He thinks he knows what is best for the people and what they should strive for. And how the people making products should never be held accountable whenever they fuck up.

If given the opportunity, Bob would be the most anti of anti-heroes. He'd permanently sit in the Chaotic Evil corner of the anti-heroes' alignment table.

 

[Positron]

This is why I think Moviebob's autistic; he reads a literal meaning into everything ("The Met Gala must be a fundraiser, it says so in the name!") rather than inferring things from the context.

Bobby is literal if literal serves him. We have seen that he can read, say, anti-semitism into anything when that serves him. And of course he hates it when people take his genocidal rants literally.

to reluctantly quote Andrew Breitbart, politics is downstream from culture.

Politics is part of culture. I don't think we can really assign which way the arrows point between non-political culture (customs, morals, langauage use, pattern of consumption, etc) and politics.

There is literally no way Moviebob's sense of humor could have been inspired by Norm MacDonald. If anything, I figure Moviebob's sense of humor was a fusion of Lenny Bruce's nihilism, Sam Kinison's abrasiveness, and Andrew Dice Clay's rampant misogyny.

And Amy Schumer's pornographic grotesquery.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

Gonna disagree and say Bob emulates Dennis Miller... if Dennis had brain damage, was a bootlicker and was insanely obese

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Yet another red head gets replaced by a black person lol

 

[Meat Target]

@JayHarrison:

Sam Kinison's abrasiveness

You do NOT bismirch Sam by using him in the same sentence as MovieSlob! OW! OWWWWWW!

 

[Flexo]

I agree. One thing, I hate about people like Bob is that they’re so weak.

Real life is not a Disney movie. It’s not a cartoon, its not a Harry Potter book and it’s not an anime.

No one is coming to our rescue.

You gotta be your own damn hero.

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.

G.K. Chesterton

 

[The Valeyard]

Yet another red head gets replaced by a black person lol

In this case it's a skinhead being replaced by a black person as he will be playing John Doe.

Based on this video (from 1:43) I can already see that the show will have to make changes to the storyline.

 

[Tronathon242]

In this case it's a skinhead being replaced by a black person as he will be playing John Doe.

Based on this video (from 1:43) I can already see that the show will have to make changes to the storyline.

What in the fuck is that about? Why not cast him as Axel? He's the one guy I would immediately think of as a viable protagonist in a Twisted Metal show or movie.

But to continue on with this topic there is no way Bob ever played the games because they were on Playstation. So be had to have employed his Google-fu to learn who Calypso was to make that cringe paraphrasing that he did.