Rules For Life (can we make a better list than Jordan?)

[Turquoise]

Let's make the ultimate guide to life

 

[Core Theorist]

1. Around blacks, never relax.
2. Around jews? you lose!

 

[Bothriolepis]

3.) Always be Sneedin', never be Needin'.

 

[ShahOfIran1979]

4. If it exists, there is porn of it
5. Thou shall not be a Conservative grifter who gets brain surgery in Russia or something

 

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

6. Wash your penis!

 

[Breadbassket]

7. Don't get addicted to benzos.

 

[Agarathium1066]

8. Don't enthuse about your fetishes on an account linked to your name.
9. Make different emails to sign up for weird ass websites.

 

[libRT]

10. Anime is gay, like france

 

[RollingRock2]

11. Wash your benis DDDdd

 

[Rudy Coleman]

12 Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood

 

[Zhores Medvedev]

13. *Bursts into tears*

 

[TroonsDid911]

14. Ancient artwork of snakes wrapped together is not a microcosm of DNA, its two snakes fucking.

 

[obliviousbeard]

15. Only steal what you can carry yourself
16. Don't stab with dull knife
17. Wash your hands before eating

 

[Meth Dick]

18. A man who never eats pork bun is never a whole man!

 

[Core Theorist]

19. A distracted policeman is an opportunity!

 

[Spud]

20. Enjoy TND (TND stands for totally nice day)

 

[Core Theorist]

21. Never place friendship above profit.

 

[AbyssGazer]

22. If it's digital, you can always get it for free or way cheaper than what normies pay.
23. You never owe anyone information about yourself.
24. Your legal identity should only ever be used when absolutely needed.

 

[Core Theorist]

25. Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money!

EDIT: typo?

 

[HTTP Error 404]

26. Listen to Scrooge Mcduck -- Money does jack shit sitting around doing nothing.
27. Unrealized losses are just that -- unrealized. Not real. Never sell the dip.