Rules For Life (can we make a better list than Jordan?)

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

28. poopoo time also serves well as peepee time but peepee time is almost never poopoo time

 

[Pee Cola]

29. Don't eat yellow snow.

 

[AbyssGazer]

30. Always keep a coin in your pocket to flip when faced with serious life decisions. That way you'll stay free from accountability.

 

[Ignatius von Cistern]

31. Things must always come out before things go in. This applies to everything including but not limited to doorways, food and sex.

 

[Lovely Kin]

32. If you like BLACKPINK, your opinion is discarded.

 

[HTTP Error 404]

33. The world may not owe you shit, but that never stopped the Boomers and it shouldn't stop you. Remember: "Gimmie That It's Mine!"

 

[Ed Special]

34. There is no "overkill". There is only "Open fire" and "Reload". On that note, don't stop shooting until the threat is definitively no longer a threat, and always double-tap.

 

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35. There is no resource you cannot replace other than time, and you will never know how much you actually have available to you. So waste it properly. You get to pick how you waste it, but you don't get to choose not to waste it.

 

[Ed Special]

36. "The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more, no less."


... Honestly, despite being intended as satire, the 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries as a whole is actually pretty solid life advice.

 

[obliviousbeard]

37. If you didn't back it up, it wasn't important
38. Also, git isn't backup system
39. Untested backup is not a backup

36. "The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more, no less."


... Honestly, despite being intended as satire, the 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries as a whole is actually pretty solid life advice.

Ferengi Rules of Aquisition also helps you to understand business.

 

[HTTP Error 404]

40. If you have any opinions to the right of Mao, you are in enemy territory at all times. Observe opsec and never talk about politics or current events on unrelated forums, at work, amongst casual friends, et cetera. YOU might not be willing to destroy relationships over something like keynesian economic theory, but half the country is.

Ferengi Rules of Aquisition also helps you to understand business.

And war. Realizing that economics can be used to explain and understand a shitload of the world was a serious light bulb moment.

 

[obliviousbeard]

41. Never be the first or the last one in anything.

And war. Realizing that economics can be used to explain and understand a shitload of the world was a serious light bulb moment

Biggest difference between business and war may be the uniforms.

 

[Core Theorist]

Rule 42:
She can touch your penis, but never your money.

 

[Neodanthril]

43. Hawk tuah spit on that thang

 

[Cat tit bingo]

42-2. Making a hitchhikers guide reference doesn't make you look smart or quirky

 

[Gleen Japan]

44. Always activate your almonds

 

[Core Theorist]

45A: War is good for business.
45B: Peace is good for business.
(it's easy to get these confused!)

 

[Neodanthril]

Better to be a diamond with flaws than a pebble without.

if we could somehow make the grammar of this worse it would catch on with drug addict single mom social media like aids in fags.

 

[Vegan Trans Girl]

46. Drink gallons of cum to get superpowers

 

[LordofTendons]

47. Don't take advice from anybody. Nobody knows what the hell they're doing.