Saints Row thread

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I got it with my video card.

I even wrote to AMD and wanted a different game but they ignored my email.

Fuck.

OK, here's the problems
With the driving: The cars have no 'weight' to them. Anything you hit just crumbles into cookie pieces. The sound is janky, I was driving in like 13th gear and it sounds like a vacuum cleaner. I'm talking basic cars, and if the answer is "You have to upgrade it...." then I hope you get a tire iron stuck up your ass.
The city is bland and boring.
I cheesed like 5 achievements just driving in the oncoming lane and waiting for vehicles to pop in.
Three times I've been hit by cars and had them just scoot me across the ground, once in a T-pose.

Combat:
The Kill Cam special kills are lame and stupid. Once a "kill cam" kill starts, it takes FOREVER. I counted EIGHT SECONDS on one kill cam. I get it, you're trying to make the character seem badass, but how many times are you going to stab this guy?
The hand to hand has little to no impact and the sound is bad. Another bad thing is: I've found it quicker to go CQC on the bad guys and kill them that way.
The guns handle like ass. I'm a precision shooter and mouse and keyboard suck, so does controller.
The "fight on the roof of the car" parts are boring and stupid and break disbelief.
The "jump from car to car" is stupid and breaks disbelief
Headshots are shit. Just punch them in the face.
Animations can't be interrupted.
I've seen "line dancing" repeatedly where a group of 3+ enemies all make the same move, at the same time, like they're line dancing in a tavern. The first time it was funny. Then it was sad. Then it was infuriating.
The weapons feel like garbage. And if you say "Well, you have to upgrade them!" I hope you get a 5.56mm stuck in your piss hole, you shilling faggot.

The wait screens are somehow infuriating. There's one with a red-headed faggot with a saxaphone and I've never wanted to beat up a transition screen before, but here we are now.
They spent time fucking ANIMATING the wait screens. That makes me hate the art AND the dev team.
The wait screens are ugly, quirkly, 'street art' from people that saw a Fentynal Floyd mural on Tiktok. I hate everyone who drew them.

The interface is counter-intuitive at first and absolutely sucks.

The clothing is OK. Funny thing, it's obvious it got tacked on real quick.
The character creator is OBVIOUSLY what they spent the last six months on, same with the clothing, when everyone rebeled against "stronk lesiban mit sideburn shave bwak wymynmx" or whatever the fuck that goddamn garbage fire was in the first teaser trailer. You can make some fantastic shit.

The rest of the game doesn't support your great character.

Oh, now I"m only a little ways into the story, where "Jim Robs" builds his garage. Fuck you, suck the spoilers from my wrinkly ballsack, faggots.

I hate EVERYONE in this game.

I hate the Marshalls "CO", I hate the fucking three friends more and more, I hate the gangs, I hate JR, I hate Faggot Texas Marshall, I hate EVERYONE.

I even hate the bystanders.

They're just inane fucking bullshit 'this is what a terminally online hugbox bughive dwelling shit eating rodent thinks people are".

This is people as envisioned by someone who was shit out by a tranny on a Google Enclave and has existed off a diet of soy, cock cheese, vagina mucus, and butt scrapings.

I hate this whole fucking thing.

But I will keep playing, to let you know just how bad this gets.

Oh... and to put it in context: I like Fallout 76. I liked all the Saints Row games except Agents of Mayhem (never played, no opinion). I liked Duke Nukem Forever and The Quarry.

My tolerance for shitty games is so high that I played the ORIGINAL WASTELAND on an Apple IIe.

THat should tell you just how shitty this fucking game is.

Oh, and Volition, if your reading this, and I know you aren't, because none of you can read and have to have your phones read it for you, you illiterate hobgoblins, FIX THE FUCKING GAME SO IT LAUNCHES RIGHT, YOU FAGGOTS!

Oh, and fix the sound/animation synching.
 
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I can't wait til it finally manages to be available in Goodwill alongside Nukem Forever, DmC (2013), ME Andromeda, Fo76, or SotTR, all in a very low, cheap price, while people turn around and walk away.
 
TVBForever said:
I can't wait til it finally manages to be available in Goodwill alongside Nukem Forever, DmC (2013), ME Andromeda, Fo76, or SotTR, all in a very low, cheap price, while people turn around and walk away.
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Duke Nukem Forever looks like The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time compared to this Saints Row game. At least it’s not boring and lifeless, even if they tried to make Duke’s character into a joke.
 
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Maude Snew said:
Okay I want to make very clear that I got a code with the GPU I bought as an upgrade because I needed one anyway I do not recommend buying shit on the Epic store.

I will get the good out of the way first:
-Driving is fine, it's like the previous games, I'm not one for racing games and what is on offer here works well enough for me.
-Customization is good. As in looks. There's lots of options and they all work well enough but sometimes for no reason your colors will reset to default on what you're wearing and your car, at least for one piece. For guns it seems to stick just fine.
-Same goes for parts on your car, it's good, there's plenty to choose from.
-Some credit for hidden secrets, there's plenty to find.

Moving right along:
-This is a big one. Gunplay is floaty and imprecise, I guess it's fine if you play with a controller and auto aim but that shit ain't for me. There isn't even an option to change mouse sensitivity which is fucking ridiculous in this day in age, even for ports, all but the worst ones have that.
-Performance is worse than it should be, it runs hot for not that much gain over SRIV, although I haven't done a side by side.
-The characters, fuck me, the characters. Waffle guy was discussed here before and so far that's pretty much it for him. Nigger Nerd is worse though. He insists on listening to fucking self help audio books on outings, he gets gut shot early on and of course doesn't have the decency to just die. Car chick seems mostly fine I guess? May just be in contrast to the others though.
-The fucking quipping. It worked in the other games for me mostly but here it goes beyond in both frequency in insipidness both from characters involved and subject matter.
-Map itself seems small and empty both at the same time, there's lots of desert and just hovels.

All in all I'd say the game could work mostly if they improved gunplay by a lot, ditched the characters for something better written even though voice acting seems mostly inoffensive, it's just what they're saying. Clearly needs a once over in the performance optimization as well, needs a better story writer, needs some visual glitches fixed even though for me they haven't been super common, at least for now, needs an overhaul of the skill system, needs lots of work for the enemy combat AI, needs to really add some options for guns beyond the two upgrades per gun you can pick at certain levels, even the old games had much more, needs vehicle delivery unless that comes later and I just haven't unlocked it yet.

In current state would not recommend at all but I do admit some of the bigger issues are very fixable but sadly, the biggest one, the characters and story, are not gonna get fixed, no way they put in that effort.
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I'm gunna pretty much agree with this except for the map part. I spent alot of time exploring in the 50 min or so I got with it and there was a ton of stuff to do. I ended up hunting down these windmill things to get a secret dune buggy. There's tons of stuff to just wander and see, and while I'd have to mess with it more, this might be my favorite saints map

There's also like a surprising amount of detail, and little stuff. It almost feels like one dev team made the map/content and another made thr story/characters, they feel really fucking disconnected
 
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Jet Fuel Johnny said:
I hate the Marshalls "CO", I hate the fucking three friends more and more, I hate the gangs, I hate JR, I hate Faggot Texas Marshall, I hate EVERYONE.
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The first couple missions gave me an impression of this trainwreck:

Diverse superior officer, no respect for authority, constant complaining about "loans" and "rent," phoned-in acting, blatant entitlement, anti-capitalist rhetoric, no impact, lackluster open world.

I could go on, but you get the gist.
 
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Glowie Hunter Art Bell said:
I'm gunna pretty much agree with this except for the map part. I spent alot of time exploring in the 50 min or so I got with it and there was a ton of stuff to do. I ended up hunting down these windmill things to get a secret dune buggy. There's tons of stuff to just wander and see, and while I'd have to mess with it more, this might be my favorite saints map

There's also like a surprising amount of detail, and little stuff. It almost feels like one dev team made the map/content and another made thr story/characters, they feel really fucking disconnected
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Well yeah the collectables and little bits and bobs are fine, just in general the map seems sort of empty when you disregard that aspect which may or may not be fair but you got a shopping strip thingy in the city and it has one actual shop and a little stall, the rest are just closed. They could have done more with that.

Now I need to actually give them some praise for the empire thing. That's a step up from pervious games where you don't just spend some cash on stores that are already there but you unlock different things like a bullshit clinic for example that unlocks insurance fraud and further takeover shit in a district where you have to clear out just groups of enemies or destroy a key piece of equipment. You do actually get the freedom to place those where you want and while it's not much it's more than the previous games did and I actually like unlocking those and activities like that. There is a bar graph on each of them to upgrade shit but I don't know yet if that's just higher numbers or actual cosmetic changes but either way it's something at least, if it makes things look different too that would be neat but I'm also not holding my breath that they actually put in the effort.
 
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Fun fact: Saints Row IV actually did a neat tribute to They Live with both Keith David’s character and you as the President speaking through Rowdy Roddy Piper’s voice:


I post this because with this new Saints Row game, there has not been any good movie references that were used as satire. There was a rumor that they tried to use Baby Driver as a reference for this one, but I really did not see it.
 
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The reboot's world feels barren, empty, lifeless. There's no personality to it. Maybe it's me, but I've noticed a lack of peds roaming the streets.

Hell, the original Saints Row had more personality with its world. Guys in hot dog suits, old women in walkers, brunettes. Just walk around and you'll notice unique peds.
 
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Maude Snew said:
Well yeah the collectables and little bits and bobs are fine, just in general the map seems sort of empty when you disregard that aspect which may or may not be fair but you got a shopping strip thingy in the city and it has one actual shop and a little stall, the rest are just closed. They could have done more with that.

Now I need to actually give them some praise for the empire thing. That's a step up from pervious games where you don't just spend some cash on stores that are already there but you unlock different things like a bullshit clinic for example that unlocks insurance fraud and further takeover shit in a district where you have to clear out just groups of enemies or destroy a key piece of equipment. You do actually get the freedom to place those where you want and while it's not much it's more than the previous games did and I actually like unlocking those and activities like that. There is a bar graph on each of them to upgrade shit but I don't know yet if that's just higher numbers or actual cosmetic changes but either way it's something at least, if it makes things look different too that would be neat but I'm also not holding my breath that they actually put in the effort.
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Yeah the lack of enterable buildings is a bit sad but the amount of sheer stuff to do that's not just "checklist" and actually gets you something is very reminiscent of SR2.

Debating picking it up since I sort of have a free pass like you do.
 
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Glowie Hunter Art Bell said:
Yeah the lack of enterable buildings is a bit sad but the amount of sheer stuff to do that's not just "checklist" and actually gets you something is very reminiscent of SR2.

Debating picking it up since I sort of have a free pass like you do.
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I mean long as you're not spending money it's your time, not like you said you were gonna read a Patrick S Tomlinson book. In that case I'd have to make clear that I don't encourage self harm.
 
Someone sponsered by Volition managed to make the game somewhat fun by having fun with his homies. This is not a review, but might as well be cause he's sponsered.

A GTA-tuber shills this game cause his channel is dying, cause GTA is really boring now to make content of

The comments from both videos have a bit of shilling in it, moreso in the 2nd one than the 1st one, most people in the 1st video are calling out this game to be shit. So either the shilling comes from the possibility that Volition is astroturfing, or their retarded fanboys are pulling an NRS here.
 
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