Ooh, I got plenty of thoughts on this trailer. The first one is that apparently when they were streaming the character customization trailer they were banning people asking for a remaster of Saints Row 1 and 2, so fuck them.
The presenter of this stream is this literal who nigress because... of course it has to be one. The stream wouldn't have been any different if they cut her out of the equation, but whatever.
They showed many potential bosses you can be. Very few of them are normal looking and the ones that are just somehow happen to be the ones getting hit by a train. Real fucking subtle.
For whatever reason, male nipples are censored in this game. Granted, this is an option that you can switch off, (although I'm willing to bet that option won't apply to female nipples) but it's still a baffling decision. I'm not sure if anybody wanted this, but the sky's the limit I guess.
As
@Miller said, this looks like some tranny shit.
You can finally make obese people in Saints Row again, so that's pretty cool.
I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be a lol randumb joke, but I agree.
This is the group of four "devs" (we all know only one out of these four are actually doing any work) that were in the stream. Unfortunately all four of them got overshadowed by the troon at Blizzard so they're going to have to try harder to create a freak show.
Mica then says something that is accidentally based.
This is the first look at the phone in Saints Row. Notice how there's still placeholder text. Really goes to show the effort that went into this game.
All customization is now done through this phone from what I can tell. No more Image as Designed, and no more Rusty's Needle. This is a change that I can take or leave. I suppose it is more convenient, but it does remove a bit of the immersion that having to go to a physical tattoo parlor or a plastic surgeon had.
I noticed there was a "Community" Tab where all the presets were. Knowing Volition, anyone trying to make a straight White male will probably be beamed.
You can manually adjust the eyes on their own, which is pretty neat. However, I do notice that there is less sliders that you can fuck around with compared to Saints Row 2, which is kind of concerning. Below is a comparison.
Surprisingly, it seems to have less options than Saints Row: The Third, and that already bastardized character customization some.
This seems to be a bit of a recurring theme. Notice how the options in the rebooted Saints Row are somehow always less than the game they hate so much from 14 years ago. (admittedly, some settings actually do manage to keep up with Saints Row 2, but I'm not sure how much of an achievement that is)
Random piece of text that got into a frame of the stream lol.
Unrelated to anything but Danielle, you look like a tranny. Lose weight.
Hair customization seems genuinely impressive, however. You can have up to three hair colors (lord knows the dangerhairs at Volition fought tooth and nail for this features) and a glossiness slider.
They also seem to tout the ample amounts of hairstyles you can choose from. However, this seems to raise a bit of a red flag for me. Almost always when they are mentioning customization, they are discussing the ample amount of presets you can select from and rarely ever mention the mechanical depth. Many of these presets are also leaning a bit too much into the "JAJAJAJA WE SO RANDOM" humor of SRTT and SRIV for my liking, a bit concerning when Volition said this game would be more grounded compared to those games. While I'm sure character customization will still be really good (it already looks leagues ahead of what we got in Cyberpunk 2077), it does feel like they are overhyping it a bit, especially when they aren't really pushing the envelope compared to prior games.
Here's another example of that. They're talking about how much freedom you get with messing with the Boss's eyes, but they're never really showing any sliders where you get to do that. Only just presets upon presets.
With that being said, the makeup has a surprising amount of depth to it. It seems a bit misplaced given that I doubt most of the people who would be interested in a game like Saints Row are the type who would be into makeup, but depth is depth.
Adding face scars is a good idea. Honestly, I'm not sure how we only just got this.
You can still give your character a large penis. It's not dubbed "Sex Appeal" anymore, but it's the thought that counts.
Saints Row will be following the steps of Forza Horizon 5 (this is not a sentence that I want to be saying) and will allow you to give your character prosthetics.
Skin Customization is on point, I'd say. There's an ample amount of presets and skin tones to choose from. You can even decide how veiny your character will look.
Tattoos seem pretty standard for the franchise. It looks like Volition hasn't forgotten about Professor Genki, which is nice to know, I guess.
There's also a fucking Funko Pop parody in this game. I'm not sure how to feel about this, given that the developers look like they're passionate collectors of them.
LAYERED CLOTHING IS FINALLY FUCKING RETURNING LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Clothing customization looks good, at least as good as how it was in Saints Row 2. You can select materials and the individual colors that you want on your clothing. I didn't see any mention of putting custom graphics on clothing, so I hope it returns in this game. No signs of patterns or the ability to tuck your clothes in either.
When you're a super cool badasserino but you have to go and fight for LGBTQIAAOIGJWROUGOPSBWOHISODEH rights
There are going to be 8 voices you can select from in this game. I hope it will be like in Saints Row 2 where each voice has their own personality and set of exclusive lines during missions (The black voice seemed more laidback, while the Cockney voice had a no bullshit personality), but we'll have to wait and see (oh who am I kidding no they won't add this)
Compliments and taunts have been merged into two emote slots. Walk cycles also make a welcome return from SR2, although I'm not sure if I like how they threw it in with the rest of the emotes. There's no news on the return of custom combat styles.
There's a "commercial" for Jim Robs (fucking why). It's not very amusing.
Now, it's time to move onto vehicle customization. There are going to be 80 vehicles in the game. This isn't very impressive when you notice that Saints Row 2 has 125, and then there's games like GTA V and GTA Online where there are almost 700 cars to drive. This looks even worse when you notice that most of the cars seem to be extremely gimmicky and memey.
Also, I don't understand why Volition doesn't give their cars model and make names like the HD GTAs. Granted, it would make the lack of vehicles look even more embarrassing, but still. It's 2022.
With that being said, the paint customization is really impressive. In addition to the amount of paint types you can choose from, you can also decide how grimey and old the paint will be which is cool.
Otherwise, the vehicle customization seems to be about the same as Saints Row 2. I'm not going to bother mentioning it too much more as I feel like I'm going to repeat myself a lot. You can change the engine and horn sounds in the game which is a nice addition.
Nitrous will be returning, along with two new options, an off-roading kit and a towing cable that lets you connect to whatever you want and drive around. Seems like a fun addition. Hydraulics seems to be missing for whatever reason, though.
Once you are done upgrading the car, you can unlock a special ability, which includes stuff as crab steering, having a wrecking ball, or the ability to jump. Some of these abilities seem cool (particularly the crab steering and the ejector seats), but I'm not impressed by some of the other, more ludicrous options like jumping cars and the infinite boost. I get that GTA Online is making a lot of money selling flying motorcycles but no one over the age of 12 actually wants this. Speaking of this, here's a "fun" flying motorbike
that's totally not a ripoff of the Oppressor Mk. 2 (okay so Volition didn't rip them off but it's still gay thank you
@Cod of War ) as well as a hoverboard:
There's also going to be some story related upgrades, but they didn't go any further (probably because they're probably not even done).
Weapons customization is making a return from Saints Row IV, and fortunately it gets to be part of a game where weapons aren't completely pointless like Saints Row IV. It also has a lot of depth to it as well, you can customize the texture and color of individual parts if you wanted to.
There's also some decals that you can select from. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be many per gun and all the ones they showed off seemed to be more wacky and zany, which is disappointing.
Weapon skins/models are also returning from Saints Row IV. Don't count on the dildo bat ever seeing the light of day again, but that's okay when there's a really "fun" pinata stick!!!
Another dev is touting the amount of "wacky, unpredictable" weapons that are in the game. This also concerns me, as I'm not particularly interested in whatever wacky shit they're adding into the game. I'm not interested in a game like SRTT and SRIV, and this game is supposedly trying to stray away from those games.
There's a commercial for an in-game restaurant called Chalupacabra which is also lame as fuck. I have a feeling that any sort of comedy was cut out in order to avoid "offending da spicz."
The Saints head base will be in a church like the first title, however it behaves more like the underground hotel base from Saints Row 2 in which that the base will be gradually renovated as you progress through the game. It functions the same as it does in the old games, you can get your weapons, clothing, and vehicles from here. Will you be able to play Zombie Uprising 2 on one of the TV's? I doubt it. It's not certain if this will be your only crib, or if there will be other cribs you can obtain/purchase throughout the game as well.
Crib customization is back. There will be pedestals throughout the base where you can place a giant statue of your choice. This appears to be different from Saints Row 2 in which that the customization isn't tiered, you're free to choose whatever you want. There are no stripper poles to be found in this base.
You can change the style and vehicles of your gang members, and you can even change the clothing of your lieutenants. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an option to make Eli look any less faggoty.
dood... what if we make the saints look like muh kpoperinos wouldn't that be so kin-OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP NIGGER YOU'RE NOT FUNNY
In some inane conversation about clothing shops you can see a glimpse of the map of Santo Illeso. Other than the placeholder text on the phone (great job Volition), one thing I noticed was the amount of desert and water that's all over the map. I have a feeling that the majority of Santo Illeso's touted size is going to be wasted space. While this city might be technically larger than Stilwater, I still feel that Stilwater will be larger in terms of character and activities.
They did talk a little bit about "empire building", but most of their language was pretty vague. There's apparently 14 different locations where you can place a "criminal venture," but they never go into enough depth that you know what they're talking about. My guess is that they're like the business and strongholds from Saints Row 2 combined together, but I'm not really sure.
"MAN I LOVE HOW NON HECCIN GENDER SPECIFIC THIS GAME I-" shut the fuck up
You can customize the censoring of your genitalia in this game.
There's a fucking Drumpf orange man joke... rent free in your head...
There's going to be a character customizer demo releasing between now and the release of the game, which is neat.
Anyways, that's about it for this entire stream. The customization in the game does seem like it will be fun, although I'm not sure if it is a step up in all ways from the past Saints Row games. In addition, I've been extremely disappointed by the lack of content they have been showing us. While for past installments they've done shit like ten minutes of uninterrupted game footage, the most we've gotten was portions of a couple of missions covered up with large amounts of commentary alongside hyper-edited clips of gameplay. Even in the portions of the game that we could see, you can tell that there's not much to see. The enemies seemed extremely bullet spongey and unfun to fight. They kept repeating the same, tired lines. The roads seem to be barren of pedestrians and the pedestrians lack any character. When something is destroyed in this game, there's no satisfying physics-based destruction (God bless GeoMod 2.0), the object just disintegrates into a shitty animation. There's weird glitches and placeholders everywhere, and while they have tried to best to hide them, you can still spot them. There isn't even little things like being able to pick up something off the ground and run around hitting people with it. I have a feeling whatever customization they've shown off is most of what they have done, and that they're just not ready to show anything else. I also believe that this game is going to be an absolute train wreck when it releases, with bugs up the ass and while the story might not be as egregious as say, The Last of Us 2, it will be on the level of something like Far Cry 6, where there's enough weird messages to make you discard it. This game will give Battlefield 2042 and Gran Turismo 7 a run for their money when it comes to the "Biggest Video Game Flop of 2022" award, mark my words.
