Shitty Alternate History Thread - If only the Romans had AK-47's they would've survived...

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

What I imagine as the jazz in Cahokia jazz.

 

[JJLiautaud]

What I imagine as the jazz in Cahokia jazz.

So down-tempo dixieland jazz?

 

[Chunky Salsa]

What if aliens landed, but they landed in Uganda under Idi Amin and became friends with him? Like, generic greys with ray guns and shit.

 

[Tablet County]

What if JFK was JF Gariepy instead?

 

[General Emílio Médici]

What if aliens landed, but they landed in Uganda under Idi Amin and became friends with him? Like, generic greys with ray guns and shit.

What if aliens are not "le enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communism" but just like humans they have a bunch of bastards and power hungry niggas and people willing to do shit?

It would be cool if it was like the Alien equivalent of Idi Amin coming over looking for some extra resources and no giving 2 shits about the Space UN and their rules about "no contacting primitives" and he lands and they just hang out and trade shit tech for slaves/resources while the USA and USSR cope, seethe and dilate that they are now the ones having to petition the Galactic UN to stop it and they keep replying "oh no we are much too busy we cannot interfere the Security Council of the Orion Supercluster is deadlocked because the Hyperion Technocracy is having a trade war with the Magellan Confederation we will send some peacekeeper in a few decades to try and solve it".

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

So down-tempo dixieland jazz?

I guess. I thought of it because that band - who does a lot of country Western, Western swing stuff - has a feeling that mixes well with the Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas type corner of the Plains where you've got Indians, Blacks and Whites mixing. Which matches well with Cahokia Jazz's world (although St. Louis did have a real blues tradition of its own IRL).

What if aliens are not "le enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communism" but just like humans they have a bunch of bastards and power hungry niggas and people willing to do shit?

It would be cool if it was like the Alien equivalent of Idi Amin coming over looking for some extra resources and no giving 2 shits about the Space UN and their rules about "no contacting primitives" and he lands and they just hang out and trade shit tech for slaves/resources while the USA and USSR cope, seethe and dilate that they are now the ones having to petition the Galactic UN to stop it and they keep replying "oh no we are much too busy we cannot interfere the Security Council of the Orion Supercluster is deadlocked because the Hyperion Technocracy is having a trade war with the Magellan Confederation we will send some peacekeeper in a few decades to try and solve it".

I said - somewhere - that I'm bored of alien stories all being two-sided invasions, and it doesn't match real historical experience. The grey Space Catholics and the reptilian Space Company will show up and start handing off plasma rifles to the Americans and Soviets in exchange for turpentine that gives them space boners or something like that.

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

What if aliens are not "le enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communism" but just like humans they have a bunch of bastards and power hungry niggas and people willing to do shit?

Based things would happen. First of all the commie faggots get sent down into the space mines to crush unobtanium ore with their bare hands.

 

[CyrusHowler]

I’d like to see something where The US joins the Central Powers in WW1.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Might be possible with a less Anglophilic administration. Part of the issue was that the Germans didn't really understand how the USA worked and thought that because Wilson was very strongly pro-Entente that meant the matter was settled and the public's position was not a issue.

 

[Danann]

I know people here have made fun of Alternatehistory.com and its insanely cutthroat moderation and lack of attractiveness, but anyone hear have heard of its Fandom wiki cousin, althistory.fandom.com?

Its one of the oldest wikis currently on Fandom, which is shocking to think about since this was back when it was known as Wikicities, and because of its 100K+ pages, there's a terrifying amount of material to uncover, a lot of it often incomplete, trash, and mostly biased.
One of the most popular timelines is Differently, which basically makes the world a very different place by making many minor changes to create a far different end result. One of the most notable changes is Adolf Hitler became a philosopher.
The most popular, however, has to be 1983: Doomsday, being a post-apocalyptic world where the 1983 Soviet false alarm incident actually went through with nuclear retaliation.
Those are very high-quality...but really the site is not only plagued with biased timelines and bad moderation, but it also has the usual Fandom issues on top of that, like their draconian transgenderism guidelines and especially their self-moderation of timelines.
This guy is banned from a timeline because he made the cardinal sin of not accepting trannies (ironic because he's got a pansexual flag as his PFP).

There's also An Honorable Retelling, which is like a splinter of Differently but gayer, notably with Rule 2.

Makes sense considering the creator is a groomed child tranny.

I don't got much else because 100k pages gives a lot of milk to find.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

I know people here have made fun of Alternatehistory.com and its insanely cutthroat moderation and lack of attractiveness, but anyone hear have heard of its Fandom wiki cousin, althistory.fandom.com?

I knew of it, but I always associated it with lower-quality works than AH.com because its fucking Fandom aka Wikia, an absolute dumping ground for autism. I suppose it probably wasn't all bad, but still. It used to have a middling reputation on AH.com since there was a lot more junk there and I'd assume you had to tread extra lightly when pointing out why it wasn't good/inaccurate.

I bet it was also a little nicer politically before Wikia became political extremists that in some cases make even Ian look like a conservative. To my knowledge, Wikia was pretty apolitical before the late 10s while AH.com would always ban you for not towing some leftist political line (even if obviously in the 00s you had a lot more leeway before insane feminism, gender ideology, and anti-white racism became the dominant ideology of the left).

 

[MoarTard]

I found the wiki itself to be interesting to browse with regards to timelines.

My main (amongst multiple) problems is that wikia fucking sucks to navigate.

 

[Dr Cruel]

What if aliens are not "le enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communism" but just like humans they have a bunch of bastards and power hungry niggas and people willing to do shit?

If aliens were "le enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communists" they would exactly be a bunch of bastards and power hungry niggas and people willing to do shit. Just exactly like our enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communist fuckface elites are today.

 

[winderson_silva]

What if aliens are not "le enlightened advanced liberal post scarcity gay communism" but just like humans they have a bunch of bastards and power hungry niggas and people willing to do shit?

Theres a story kinda like that. Illegal Aliens, there the aliens who get on earth are assholes who ruin other planets for fun, like getting over a world where everyone is nice, and them saying "the galactic society hates you" so they all kill themselves out of shame. But when they land on New York they get shot by niggas.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illegal_Aliens_(novel)

 

[teriyakiburns]

And this is the guy who gives you a kick for anything that goes against male feminist orthodoxy like saying Gamergate had sone points or Brett Kavanaugh probably didn't rape anyone. 100% Ian has some serious skeletons in his closet.

He looks like some low budget 90s stock german henchman called Hans.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

He looks like some low budget 90s stock german henchman called Hans.

"Mein name ist Dieter! Nein Hans, Dieter!"

 

[winderson_silva]

So I found the Caliph scenario on Gurps Alternate Earths 2 really funny, basically, a single islamic guy "refutes" all greek and roman texts, so (with help from an early printing press) muslins just magically advance on absurd scale, with the point of divergence in the 800's and by the 1400's they already got colonies on space and wormholes.

Its also funny that they say that feminism emerged early and now in this islamic Earth, everyone is on equal footing, yet on the Shikaku-Mon scenario on Gurps Alternate Earths 1, where most of the world is catholic and the point of divergence was in the 1400's, women are second class citizens on most of the world.

I just find funny how people are like "the muslins were so advanced" and yet they also say "they just preserved greek and roman knowledge", so I propose to make an alt hist where Aquinas said "actually we should throw this pagan trash out of the window" and this magically results in Europe having space colonies in 1900

 

[JJLiautaud]

So I found the Caliph scenario on Gurps Alternate Earths 2 really funny, basically, a single islamic guy "refutes" all greek and roman texts, so (with help from an early printing press) muslins just magically advance on absurd scale, with the point of divergence in the 800's and by the 1400's they already got colonies on space and wormholes.

I like midgard and Aeolus both seem like super pulpy fun
Midgard- the Vikings loot Constantinople and get the secret of greek fire and then raid even harder, with the new found wealth they go on to settle vinland and stick forming the vinland commonwealth and then a bunch of stuff happens and the Norse culture are squaring off against the Chinese.

Aeolus- the Protestant wind doesn't blow so the James II grows a spin and sends William of Orange packing then the long 18th century never ends until a new American like revolution happens in the Habsburg lands this time with early jet fighters.

 

[winderson_silva]

This one is a kinda mixed bag, in one hand its a nationalist masturbation that isnt even trying to hide it, with italian merchants being hired by portugal to oversee brazil somehow resulting in the country being stronger than irl China, with functional laser defense in space and a fusion reactor.

In another hand, it does give a pretty big focus on the culture and economy, something most timelines ignore in favor of pure war and politics. It also got some small stuff, like a phoenician boat getting stuck in brazil and being helped by a non existant culture in the amazon, which is not used as a point of divergence since the culture is long dead when portugal arrives

https://althistory.fandom.com/wiki/Brazil_(Parallel_Brazil)

 

[Alexander Thaut]

This one is a kinda mixed bag, in one hand its a nationalist masturbation that isnt even trying to hide it, with italian merchants being hired by portugal to oversee brazil somehow resulting in the country being stronger than irl China, with functional laser defense in space and a fusion reactor.

In another hand, it does give a pretty big focus on the culture and economy, something most timelines ignore in favor of pure war and politics. It also got some small stuff, like a phoenician boat getting stuck in brazil and being helped by a non existant culture in the amazon, which is not used as a point of divergence since the culture is long dead when portugal arrives

https://althistory.fandom.com/wiki/Brazil_(Parallel_Brazil)

Brazil becoming a potential superpower seems to be an idea dating back to the '40s-50s SF stuff.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viagens_Interplanetarias

Of course de Camp did it first.