Shitty Alternate History Thread - If only the Romans had AK-47's they would've survived...

[Sargon's wife's son]

The author claims their great-grandfather got reparations checks, which sounds like he was a Jew who went off to Auschwitz or wherever. So assume this is a bunch of Jewish kvetching.

This does make me notice that in recent years there's been a real shift to "Nazis have no chance of winning whatsoever" as an article of faith on the site. It gets asserted with the same vehemence you used to see reserved for silly shit like Operation Sea Lion succeeding. It's almost like a religious thing. Since Hitler is secular Satan, he can't be allowed to ever win. This is where you get the weird idea you occasionally see that the Nazis would have "inevitably" imploded by 1950 if no one had done anything. Which is really ironic to see taken as an article of truth when it basically just says Chamberlain and all the US isolationists who always pop up as alt-history dictators were right.

i did just spend an hour writing out an entire world war 2 germany wins to your post but it sounded kind of autistic

germany could have easily won world war 2 cut the allies off from retreating and that would have been the end of the british and french in exile


also the russians create the best alternate history because
what you've not heard of comrade hitler what if Nicholas the Second had a T72 ancient Egypt versus the Red Army.
And my personal favorite Adolf Hitler versus communist Abraham Lincoln

 

[Danann]

Got a throwaway account on alternatehistory.net just to see shit like this.
Oh, and the site is still unchanged and as broke as ever.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I saw Alternate History Hub's latest video. His mind has melted. He's gone full autist. His speech is peppered with expressions drawn from vidya. Jokes about real air servicemen "respawning," HOI allusions. It's a bigger trend that vidya speak is infesting how people talk about real life, but I found it especially autistic and annoying here.

 

[Justsomecicada]

I saw Alternate History Hub's latest video. His mind has melted. He's gone full autist. His speech is peppered with expressions drawn from vidya. Jokes about real air servicemen "respawning," HOI allusions. It's a bigger trend that vidya speak is infesting how people talk about real life, but I found it especially autistic and annoying here.

That shit is so annoying. You know when I was younger and paradox games were becoming popular I hoped it would introduce more people to history. While I was partially right its effects on history online has been a disaster. It’s so fucking exhausting seeing peoples history takes that ar very clearly inspired by hoi4 or some hoi4 mod.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

That shit is so annoying. You know when I was younger and paradox games were becoming popular I hoped it would introduce more people to history. While I was partially right its effects on history online has been a disaster. It’s so fucking exhausting seeing peoples history takes that at every clearly inspired by hoi4 or some hoi4 mod.

Yeah, kind of. It seemed to draw in a sort of amateur historian that is great at learning huge amounts of trivia (where the city of Ulm <snickers at le funny paradox city> is, what obscure god some savages in the middle of Africa worship) but very little of what actually matters, no real solid understanding of materialism/the mechanics of society and how it drives the world from event to event. No social history. The spergs that make mods like MEIOU and Taxes or who played Victoria II are better with regards to that, but they're a tiny niche within a sea of Isorrowproductions fans (hate that channel).

i don't know if I'm making any sense. It's the theming of history on everything with no actual structure or purpose to any of it.

 

[Justsomecicada]

Yeah, kind of. It seemed to draw in a sort of amateur historian that is great at learning huge amounts of trivia (where the city of Ulm <snickers at le funny paradox city> is, what obscure god some savages in the middle of Africa worship) but very little of what actually matters, no real solid understanding of materialism/the mechanics of society and how it drives the world from event to event. No social history. The spergs that make mods like MEIOU and Taxes or who played Victoria II are better with regards to that, but they're a tiny niche within a sea of Isorrowproductions fans (hate that channel).

i don't know if I'm making any sense. It's the theming of history on everything with no actual structure or purpose to any of it.

Pdox games getting popular didn’t make history discourse or paradox games any better, it just made both of them worse.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

AHHub latest video is pretty much slop yeah, it's the old idea of closing the western front up early to hard focus Stalin but it doesn't take into account how Stalin wasn't that retarded to not realize a attack could come if a peace was signed.

I think that Ian and CalBear are running a script to autoban new accounts made with certain e-mail providers every few days. That is the only explanation I can come up with for why so many of my socks are banned after a few days even if I literally do nothing. I should do some testing and make a gmail account or use a Microsoft one to see if it lasts cause otherwise I might as well not join.

It's so fucking depressing how this faggot has single handedly kneecaped the AH and CounterFactual history genres with this shit. You will abide by modern progressive historiographic gospel or you are banned. Don't even think about a ISOT unless you are to uplift the backward primitives into le enlightened future! Modern politics are banned, unless you wanna throw shade at conservatives or have a literal wankfest about establishing REAL communism.

 

[Briananderson1138]

Just to spite these degenerates, I want to write a story wherein the Radical Republicans administer Reconstruction in precisely the manner that the AH.com userbase would have wanted them to, only for the inevitable consequences of such actions to kick in and bite them in the ass. The idea had two defects: I’m sure the userbase would fail to understand their error, no matter how neatly I spelled it out to them, and I would get banned in short order for being too offensive.

 

[JJLiautaud]

Just to spite these degenerates, I want to write a story wherein the Radical Republicans administer Reconstruction in precisely the manner that the AH.com userbase would have wanted them to, only for the inevitable consequences of such actions to kick in and bite them in the ass. The idea had two defects: I’m sure the userbase would fail to understand their error, no matter how neatly I spelled it out to them, and I would get banned in short order for being too offensive.

I want to write a slice of life AU where Germany won the second world war and its basically to kill a mocking bird in the lebensraum'd east so circa 1970 or so.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

They would 100% fail. Reconstruction fetishists are always, without fail, 100% of the time either commies or commie adjecent.

They see it as the closest they ever got to putting Americans in gulags and running re-education centers in american soil. They fucking masturbate over it. They seethe at the fact that Lincoln, even if he hadn't been shot, wasn't gonna do it like they want.

 

[Briananderson1138]

Lincoln, even if he hadn't been shot, wasn't gonna do it like they want.

Right, as I recall Lincoln wanted to enfranchise only veterans of the US Colored Troops and the ”more intelligent Negroes”. Of course that plan deprived the Republicans of a potential voting base, and so was totally disregarded once the President was shot.

Now that I think of it, it’s a shame that the realistic ”Lincoln Survives” timeline would get condemned too. I imagine that it would be a better timeline, without the foolish errors of our own Reconstruction period, but I’m sure the gradual enfranchisement of the freedmen, commensurate with their education on Booker T. Washington lines, would really get under the skin of the lefties.

Of course the best timeline is the one where blight or an early boll weevil knocks out the cotton industry before Eli Whitney can get the Cotton Kingdom started, and slavery naturally declines as the Founding Fathers predicted, instead of getting distinctly nasty as it did in our timeline.

 

[PS1gamenwatch]

I really would like to see an almost Anti-Turtledove scenario where CSA does break from the Union only to get swallowed by Spain, bringing some life back to their sick empire and see how long they'd keep them or if independent Mexico or any of South America would fight for a piece of Dixie.

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Cody did another video, surprisingly soon. Also about Germany winning... WW1.

Gotta say this one is actually a lot better than the WW2 one. He lays out the fact that it would be less a win and more of a stalemate. And seems to think he can milk the scenario for another video on what these "Turbulent 20's" would look like.

No idea about the sponsor tho.

 

[Alexander Thaut]

are there any good alt history tales about Gran Columbia?

Hell, gimme a list of the good classics in Alt-History. I'm only familiar with de Camp's Lest Darkness Fall and Robert's Pavane.

 

[Saturnalia-1918]

An alternate history scenario I would love to see explored is seeing how the Confederacy would survive and industrialize if they won the Civil War. Many stories usually follow the same beats of "Confederacy remains an agrarian backwater until the US comes back to defeat and retake the South."

This ignores how, in a timeline where the South managed to win and remain independent, they would have created a separate national identity that would chaff at being subsumed back into the United States, basically the equivalent of thinking the British could have taken back the United States in the War of 1812 and they would happily return to being British subjects and ignore the years of independence and nationhood.

Many stories also keep the Confederacy as a agrarian backwater, saying that slavery would cripple any industrialization that could occur, leaving them dependent on Cotton and other agricultural products.

This usually ignores that the Confederacy can mimic different actions under taken by other nations in real life with the resources they have, namely Texas Oil and large labor group seen as less than human (slaves).

With Texas Oil, the Confederacy can basically become a Petrostate, using their oil for wealth and industrialization when inevitably agriculture can't keep up. It can also have story elements from the Petrostates in real life, that corruption and the fluctuating price of oil messing with development and living conditions of the country.

Another way the Confederacy could go is that third world cheap labor. As we see in real life, many companies would close facilities in America that would have to pay a high wage to American workers and instead go to a third world nation and operate a factory that pays pennies to the labor force (and not have to worry about labor conditions and safety).

With the Confederacy, they have the conditions to mimic and exploit that greed. You can see Northern companies closing factories in Pennsylvania, Illinois, and Michigan and instead getting their products made in the South on the cheap by factories operated by slaves. Society in the Confederacy already see slaves as less than human, and it would be ironic that the "industrial" North would go to the "agrarian" South for cheaper labor for factories.

Just some ideas I had on the topic.

 

[Caddo Cobgang]

I think it would have been really interesting if the Central Powers won WW1 along with the Whites won the Russian Civil War and Kolchak became Supreme Leader of Russia with Ludendorff becoming Chancellor of Germany under Wilhelm, I think they would have a mixed relationship due to Brest-Livosk and Kolchak wanting to take back Ukraine,Belarus,and the Baltics but them being both essentially Right-Wing dictatorships would calm relations, Britain probably survives due to its Empire while France could go in literally any direction politically after failing to win WW1

 

[Bloudwulf]

both essentially Right-Wing dictatorships would calm relations

A White Russian government wouldn't forget about Germany sending Lenin to destabilize the previous regime. And I can totally imagine Russian nationalism intensifying in a White Russia, and a sort of "stab in the back" myth developing in regards to non-Russian ethnicities who betrayed the Empire by switching sides for Germany and Jews for being so prevalent in the Bolshevik movement.

From the makers of leftist infighting, now get ready for.... RIGHTIST INFIGHTING!

 

[The beast]

I love how leftists always end up accidentally creating a dystopia in their power fantasy scenarios

Britain probably survives due to its Empire while France could go in literally any direction politically after failing to win WW1

Britain would be in an interesting if the Labour party wins the 1918 elections considering that the Labour party 1918 program said that they would give independence to India and Ireland. France i honestly see them either going monarchist under Charles Maurras action Francaise or maybe some sort of presidential fourth republic under some sort of Gaullism like ideology.

 

[Briananderson1138]

I love how leftists always end up accidentally creating a dystopia in their power fantasy scenarios

View attachment 6395114

What the actual fuck: that’s just modern woke ideology, which I guess shouldn’t be surprising considering the commentary, but which is totally inconsistent with actual communist countries’ ideology (when it comes to themselves, as opposed to destabilizing their enemies).

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Communists and leftists in general tend to be like that. Their ideas SOUND as wide as a ocean, but once you actually try and examine it they turn out to be as shallow as a puddle.

Of course the type of moron who manages to hold a account on AH.com and writes commiewank fiction would think in such terms.