Speedrunning Thread (Take 2) - GOTTA GO FAST

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This thread is getting more and more autistic a-log'ers by the minute. Yes, autists and trannies speedrun, no it doesn't mean that it is a "wrong" hobby. A hobby does not need to be useful nor prideful. People are free to enjoy what they enjoy and you are free to think it's useless garbage. The autistic point of "speedrunning isn't the same as X" is simply dumb to me. People watch TV for hours, multiple capeshitter movies per year, they go see standup comedians. I agree that some hobbies are probably more educative than others but I think a good balance of educative and non-educative hobbies are ideal. Stop shitting up the thread lol.


GDQs have been in decline for the better part of the last 8 years or so in my opinion. I've always found read donations to be annoying as fuck, especially since they were for the most part unfunny reddit memes à la "greeting from Germany" and "kick le cancer's butt". The vibe got more and more reddit-like as years went by and that's a damn shame. It's like seeing that small hometown fast food restaurant on the corner of the main street become a multinational corporative shithole. What about the fun?
I remember that one Super Metroid run where there were hilarious donation messages justifying their stances on the Kill vs Save the animals thing. "I was bitten by an animal, so kill the animals." "Sarah MacLachlan says save the animals." "I vote kill because I was once bitten by a wild Sarah MacLachlan..."

These last few years its been the same stupid "Great cause, here's my sob story about cancer" bullshit. I wish they'd do more funny donations.
 
I'm struck by how much various aspects of the production have declined

It's like none of the runners and announcers have ever spoken to each other before and do no preparation for the presentation. It's always been a problem, the tension between runners talking about the game and announcers wanting to read donos, but that's become way worse recently. Is it really that hard to sit down and write an outline for a run, here are times when donos will be read, here are times when the runner and couch people will talk about this, etc. Write down notes and stuff like they do for live sports announcers. Part of this is caused by largely moving on from experienced runners who have done multiple GDQs, okay new blood nothing wrong with that, but put the work in so the new runners and couch people and dono readers aren't constantly interrupting each other, the incompetence is so stark

Plus the dono readers are cringy ear rapists with few exceptions. Add that to games no one cares about and I'm not surprised donations were down $800,000 from last year's ADGQ. It's significantly less fun to watch and people who don't watch aren't going to donate
The lack of chemistry and entertainment is entirely because everyone is just there, not part each other's communities (ironic) and too scared to incur the wrath of GDQ staff. It's been so long since i watched, I get surprised every year with the terrible changes to the overlay they use too. It's making a kiling financially, but little of it is because of the actual event itself or how it's conducted.
 
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So am I the only person who generally respects speedrunning?

I'm not gonna defend the runners who turn out to be huge fags, but speedrunning itself... whenever I see a good run, it almost makes me think magic is real or that superheroes really could exist.

But everywhere I go online it seems like people are negative about speedrunning as a hobby entirely (rather than just hating a few specific runners). What gives?
I think on some level everyone in the thread likes/respects speedrunning.

The main issue is that "speedrunning" has become so diluted from what it's supposed to be, which is to say, competitive.

There is a huge swathe of unpopular categories, unpopular games, and uncompetitive runners who dominate the entire landscape that tends to bother everyone. No one agrees on what's a "core" speedrunning game (aside from SM64, Super Metroid, etc).

It's very niche. It has to be a good, fun, competitive run in a game and category that anyone gives a shit about. The 30+ hour speedruns or ironic ones (SM64 but WITH A STEERING WHEEL!!!) are just complete dogshit.
 
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These last few years its been the same stupid "Great cause, here's my sob story about cancer" bullshit. I wish they'd do more funny donations.
SGDQs were always better back during the good years for this reason. Nobody asks the whole show to stop for them to cry about giving malaria pills to a village in South Sudan.
 
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Only a month until ESA winter 2023 which is at least in person and an order of magnitude less cringe than gdq. Still seems a long way from the classic marathons of years past but that probably my rose tinted specs kicking in too.
Some tranny on twitter has stated ESA is prohibiting hosts from reading political donations including "trans rights" messages. Of course brings JK Rowling and Hogwarts Legacy into it for no reason.
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The only source for this? Some random censored and hugely JPEGed png discord screenshot:
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And a random tranny's word about getting his donation message rejected 3 years ago:
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To be clear it's plausible these things are true, I know if I was ESA I would not want people to read messages from deranged trannies getting angry at a book author speaking out against men in dresses raping women. It's just utterly disgusting how much of rumors spread on tranny twitter are backed by "dude trust me" and easily faked screenshots.

Because troons are now out in full swing canceling le hecking problematic speedrunning event:
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Bonus based fat shaming:
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Some tranny on twitter has stated ESA is prohibiting hosts from reading political donations including "trans rights" messages. Of course brings JK Rowling and Hogwarts Legacy into it for no reason.
View attachment 4499173
source (a)

The only source for this? Some random censored and hugely JPEGed png discord screenshot:
View attachment 4499174
View attachment 4499178
source (a)

And a random tranny's word about getting his donation message rejected 3 years ago:
View attachment 4499189

View attachment 4499198
source (a)

To be clear it's plausible these things are true, I know if I was ESA I would not want people to read messages from deranged trannies getting angry at a book author speaking out against men in dresses raping women. It's just utterly disgusting how much of rumors spread on tranny twitter are backed by "dude trust me" and easily faked screenshots.

Because troons are now out in full swing canceling le hecking problematic speedrunning event:
View attachment 4499218
source (a)

View attachment 4499225
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Bonus based fat shaming:
View attachment 4499245
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View attachment 4499253
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View attachment 4499265
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They saw what happened to GQDQ and decided to focus on the games instead
 
Some tranny on twitter has stated ESA is prohibiting hosts from reading political donations including "trans rights" messages. Of course brings JK Rowling and Hogwarts Legacy into it for no reason.
View attachment 4499173
source (a)

The only source for this? Some random censored and hugely JPEGed png discord screenshot:
View attachment 4499174
View attachment 4499178
source (a)

And a random tranny's word about getting his donation message rejected 3 years ago:
View attachment 4499189

View attachment 4499198
source (a)

To be clear it's plausible these things are true, I know if I was ESA I would not want people to read messages from deranged trannies getting angry at a book author speaking out against men in dresses raping women. It's just utterly disgusting how much of rumors spread on tranny twitter are backed by "dude trust me" and easily faked screenshots.

Because troons are now out in full swing canceling le hecking problematic speedrunning event:
View attachment 4499218
source (a)

View attachment 4499225
source (a)

Bonus based fat shaming:
View attachment 4499245
source (a)

View attachment 4499253
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View attachment 4499265
source (a)
Let's see how ESA respond to the twitter troon squad.
 
If they cater to the looney troons after what happened to Hogwarts Legacy, they are completely brain-dead retards.

The game had the biggest boycott campaign in recent memory and it broke the record of the most-watched game on Twitch. Trannies are useless, at this point I think you can get away with saying every troon should die, the people just don't care for them anymore.
 
cross post from the Hogwarts legend salt thread guess all harry potter games are getting banned
I actually wonder if there's a point at which the Prevent Cancer Foundation ®️ comes in and goes 'yeeeeeah but we want the potterhead money'.
 
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I actually wonder if there's a point at which the Prevent Cancer Foundation ®️ comes in and goes 'yeeeeeah but we want the potterhead money'.
No, because they already have to have certain meetings with the retards in charge, and they don't have enough patience to argue about whether or not spedrunning one game is different from another.
 
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I actually wonder if there's a point at which the Prevent Cancer Foundation ®️ comes in and goes 'yeeeeeah but we want the potterhead money'.
Nah. Conversely GDQ can just say "if we allow this, there will be a protest that may impact the event and the charity", which is the truth, because GDQ has alienated the audience and who is allowed to run a game there. Any mere mention of Harry Potter is going to result in an hour of offtopic political bitching because they can't help themselves.
 
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Reactions: Markass the Worst
Are you really still watching GDQs?
No, I really only watch ESA runs that look interesting (and get recommend to me on youtube). I honestly can't stand speedrunning events, from all the donation interruptions and incentive reminders clogging up airtime. The only reason I have an interest in speedrunning is because sometimes they'll explain game functions on a technical level or they really are just that skilled at the game.
 
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No, I really only watch ESA runs that look interesting (and get recommend to me on youtube). I honestly can't stand speedrunning events, from all the donation interruptions and incentive reminders clogging up airtime. The only reason I have an interest in speedrunning is because sometimes they'll explain game functions on a technical level or they really are just that skilled at the game.
That's why I wish NASA got some traction. It was just spergs having fun and speedrunning.
 
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