Speedrunning Thread (Take 2) - GOTTA GO FAST

[ducktales4gameboy]

Speedrunning video games is a hobby that many treat like a full-time job. Some games are so long, they require players to play uninterrupted for hours and take plenty of eating/bathroom/even sleeping breaks in between. Most long speedgames are RPGs, some of which exceed the amount of waking time for the average person per day.

There was some sort of non-English drama blowout about a German guy who ran Paper Mario : Sticker Star (4.5 hour incredibly bad game that’s just not fun to watch) multiple times a day and had an absolutely massive ego about it. Do you happen to know who it was? I don’t really follow SR drama aside from this thread but I’ve heard him brought up in passing and not named during marathons like ESA where people groan about some sort of incident that happened with ‘the sticker star guy’ and made him ragequit speedrunning, and any sort of person unhinged enough to run Sticker Star of all games seems like they could be a chibi-level hidden cow.

 

[0 0]

Oh my god, Werster, I remember his video where he was bashing a sonic 2 speedrun while speedrunning poke stadium

Funny, I remember Werster for his video where he did this:

 

[Boss Bass]

https://greatgamesdoneslow.com/info/

I hope the perfection of creating "the opposite of ADGQ" and featuring natal females is not lost on them.

 

[D.Va]

Is there a schedule?

No – you can stream whenever you want, for however long you want, and as many times as you want. The only things scheduled will be the @CheckPointOrg official team stream, which you can be part of by signing up as a CheckPoint member and hanging with us on Discord.

well what's the point then

Avoid stigmatising language. Part of the reason so few people seek help is that society has a view of mental illness as something dangerous, scary, or laughable. If we refuse to engage in this dialogue, it will eventually die out. So try not to use the words, “crazy”, “mental”, “insanity”, “nuts”, “loopy”, etc, in a negative light. Educate yourself about what the difference is between “psychosis” and “psychopath”. And avoid playing games that demonise the mentally ill (for example, most games set in asylums).

Lol are we really heading towards "cr*zy is a slur" now

Maybe I just don't understand this thought process where casually saying "that's nuts" as a response is really going to offend someone. It's marking the words as taboo that strengthens them as such.

 

[The Fatriarchy]

They took a time machine into the future from a time where all of this was relevant and not already over and done with. Someone should remind them that we did it all without having to avoid using certain words.

 

[Gross phone booth]

Mario 64 race is a masterpiece and magnum opus of speedrunning. If you can please watch it live. Maybe you will find time, cause it seems like it will go on forever. It's basically people who have never played the game, with 2 actual speedrunners as coaches. The frustration in the chat is beautiful, especially as some "runners" behave like they've never touched nor seen a console before in their lives.

 

[Super Collie]

Mario 64 race is a masterpiece and magnum opus of speedrunning. If you can please watch it live. Maybe you will find time, cause it seems like it will go on forever. It's basically people who have never played the game, with 2 actual speedrunners as coaches. The frustration in the chat is beautiful, especially as some "runners" behave like they've never touched nor seen a console before in their lives.

(Referring to the SM64 run at ESA Summer, VOD link has not been added yet but it is listed here: https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/comments/90uwif/esa_vod_thread_2018/ )

For sure, ESA has done so many interesting things with their summer event this year. Not only are they running two separate streams, which means that most of the time you have something else to watch if you don't like what's on one stream, but they also did an "awful games" relay race where a couple of guys took turns beating these terrible PC games in like 90-120 seconds apiece. It was hilarious.

They're doing so many things that you wouldn't dare see GDQ attempt because of the potential for failure, but the entertainment value is incredible at ESA right now, even when things do hit a snag.

ESA's total donations are being matched by a second benefactor, so as we speak they're at $60K meaning $120K has been raised so far. Hopefully this number keeps reaching upward because I could definitely get behind ESA becoming the new premiere speedrunning event.

 

[D.Va]

ESA's total donations are being matched by a second benefactor, so as we speak they're at $60K meaning $120K has been raised so far.

Fraid not, the mysterious benefactor is only matching the first $50k.

Also crossposting from the non-drama oriented thread since everyone is sick of Zephyyrr's behaviour at the ESA DnD games. He's a speedrunner in the sense that he's ran one obscure game, but he's pretty much only at ESA for tabletop sperging and is the textbook "that guy".

Well the DnD game kinda sucked. There was a cunt at the table being "that guy" the entire time. Bet you can guess which one it was:

View attachment 505515

The fat bald Swede would not stop arguing with and interrupting the DM, ackshually-ing his way out of every situation. Even at the end he wouldn't stop whining about not getting to roll a saving throw (he was about to get one, but he kept talking over the DM). Total prick.

The DM was also barely understandable because she had a thick Swedish accent.

Overall dry. Was better when there were brits at the table.

 

[Urban Superstition]

https://greatgamesdoneslow.com/info/

I hope the perfection of creating "the opposite of ADGQ" and featuring natal females is not lost on them.

It looks just as retarded as AGDQ.

 

[Princess Rescuer]

The German Sticker Star guy is SirRouven.

And speaking of Germany, Matthias Rustemeyer is about to have all 32 records in Mario Kart 64 Time Trials (1 lap and 3 lap in all 16 tracks with no shortcuts) and his closest competitor Daniel Burbank beat his Bowser's Castle 3-lap time from 2013 by 0.01 second.

 

[Slap47]

Apollo is one hell of a character.

 

[BlueSpark]

Apollo is one hell of a character.

Take everything Goose says with a grain of salt, the guy is a lunatic.

 

[Slap47]

Take everything Goose says with a grain of salt, the guy is a lunatic.

Goes without saying in regards to speedrunners.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

ESA is running another marathon for (I think) Dutch cancer research. It started yesterday and I just stumbled upon it on Twitch so I can't speak for quality. The schedule is available at https://www.speedrun.com/bsg2018/schedule

 

[FrozenFlame]

So I know this thread has been dead for a month but I feel like it's a good place to post about the latest speedrunning drama and potentially introduce a new Lolcow.

A few days ago a troon by the name of Ms_Uko accused an Earthbound speedrunner named Ceriam of sexual assault.

The full story is detailed in Ms_Uko's 90+ page document which you can peruse for your reading pleasure here.

Now the interesting part in all of this is that Uko encouraged the guy to get shitfaced off his ass drunk and proceeded to get sexual with him despite him saying repeat times that he was straight and not into dudes, Uko didn't understand this as she's totally a girl you guys, but despite Ceriam's pause of the situation Uko being the sober one allowed things to progress and then weeks later decided that it was sexual assault.

Uko clearly had feelings for the guy before the event as seen in this leaked conversation between the two here. So to the casual observer it looks as though Uko wanted the guy and used the drinking and the weed as a method of getting him in the right headspace so she could make her move. And after the fact when the guy sobered up and was not into her, her feelings were hurt and now all of these accusations.

If you read some of the document and the leaked conversation her motives should be painfully clear.

What's really hilarious is that GDQ banned Ceriam permanently for his role in everything but Uko, who essentially took advantage of a drunk guy didn't get a ban at all. Not to mention Uko admitted in the document to bringing weed to GDQ and smoking it (which tbh is not a big deal) but it's a big no-no for GDQ, since they've banned four people for weed, two of which only smelled like but that was enough for a GDQ staff member to take action.

The TL;DR of it is that troons run GDQ. But I guess we knew that already.

I think Ms_Uko has the potential to be considered a Lolcow. Just browsing her Twitter the last few days has been a real treat and a special view inside the mind of a chaotically delusional person.

 

[Cryin RN]

Not to mention Uko admitted in the document to bringing weed to GDQ and smoking it (which tbh is not a big deal) but it's a big no-no for GDQ, since they've banned four people for weed, two of which only smelled like but that was enough for a GDQ staff member to take action.

Nice find! No kidding, he talks about his ~ILLEGAL VAPE PEN~ more than the actual "sexual assault", which was... a dick grab. And he went on to hook up with someone else at GDQ, which makes me wonder how many of these nerds are severely prison gay.

 

[The Fool]

I'm honestly shocked people even watch GDQ anymore, it's so soulless and industrial. It's like watching current Game Grumps, it feels like watching one of those employee education videos before starting your job packing grocerie bags.
Trannies sure helped ruin it but it just feels too massive to be good anymore in general.
Also I don't give a single fuck about the fundraisers because fuck third world niggers *okay hand sign*

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I'm honestly shocked people even watch GDQ anymore, it's so soulless and industrial. It's like watching current Game Grumps, it feels like watching one of those employee education videos before starting your job packing grocerie bags.
Trannies sure helped ruin it but it just feels too massive to be good anymore in general.
Also I don't give a single fuck about the fundraisers because fuck third world niggers *okay hand sign*

GDQ isn't nearly as fun of the other marathons where runners are allowed to express personality without fear of being deemed problematic and thrown out. But, some of the runs are at least interesting on a technical level, namely some of their races, and there are still a few runners who manage to skirt the fence with having fun, but not the kind of fun deemed wrong by GDQ gestapo. I think it's become background noise for a lot of watchers, and every so often there's a run or gimmick that actually makes you shift attention to it.

That being said, a lot of the other marathons are starting to experiment with unique runs, and the runners being allowed to have personality means even a bad run/game normally not exciting to run can be entertaining. I think GDQ is too big at this point to just go away outright, but who knows what happens as the other marathons continue to grow.

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

Uko clearly had feelings for the guy before the event as seen in this leaked conversation between the two here. So to the casual observer it looks as though Uko wanted the guy and used the drinking and the weed as a method of getting him in the right headspace so she could make her move. And after the fact when the guy sobered up and was not into her, her feelings were hurt and now all of these accusations.

Lol, so he got drugged and raped by a tranny and GDQ backs the rapist. The absolute fucking state of speedrunning.




"I did not prey on him!"

At least it seems like ceriam is getting some support.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

And he went on to hook up with someone else at GDQ, which makes me wonder how many of these nerds are severely prison gay.

All of them