Well I mean, an emotional connection with someone isn't really something you can convey in words.
I don't remember if it was here or on Tumblr that I said this, but I've been emotionally abused and used enough since as long as I can remember, that I've become hyper aware of when someone is using me and so on, and Lawrence is not. I can sense his honesty. I don't know what more you want me to say. He puts a lot of effort into our relationship, I don't know how you expect me to "prove" that.
It's not "they isn't special enough" it's "I have other pronoun sets I like to go by, I don't just want to go by they."
With the note: I actually remember the day it happened, though I don't recall seeing the note so I must have been away from the computer or something.
Anyways, I have a note of my own in my drafts on my old blog that leaves off some people that have been involved in my life since I wrote it, including I think two partners. I have almost published it a couple a times with people left off of it, because I didn't want to edit it at that point
Those people were abusive towards him, it's normal for people to want their abusers dead.
I suggest you look at my about, I'm dating several other people at the moment, if I really felt like one of them didn't care for me breaking up with them wouldn't be too much of an issue to me.
People with BPD act out for attention a lot. I don't think the note was for attention though. I was having a similar issue at the time, I thought dying was the only way anyone would so much as know my name. And I already discussed the people he asked to kill themselves.
Okay, there are several issues here:
1. People who date multiple people, on average, have a tougher time leaving relationships. While there is nothing wrong with polyamory in itself, I've noticed that a lot of the people who practice it are bordering on codependent, and require multiple relationships to feel secure in themselves and their relationships. This is not universal by any means, but it is fairly common.
2. Actually,
legitimate abuse victims typically want nothing more than to sever ties with their abuser. Despite what Hollywood has told you, most abuse victims don't desire the death of their abuser, or even revenge. They want to never hear of, think about, or deal with their abuser in any way again. They want to move on, not wallow in the same hell they've been subjected to a little longer. In short, an abuse victim usually desires closure, not revenge.
Springtrapp desires revenge because her abuse is fabricated and her suffering is imaginary. She has never been forced to overcome any real obstacles in life, hence her maladaptive behaviors.
3. She doesn't have BPD. This is a thing she likes to imagine she has, because it's trendy. She's a manipulative, abusive, attention-seeking asshole, and a shitty person. This is not the same as BPD, and you're enabling her by pretending it is.
I don't, honestly. I'm trying to improve on those behaviors. I know what I say and do during my episodes is terrible, and I HATE it.
Sometimes having people dead is the only way to get them off your back though. I want my abusers gone for good, especially one in particular because he keeps showing up in my life and I hate it.
Also do not call me a kid, I'm 19.
I actually have BPD too, though. Going in 6 days to finally get my diagnosis over and done with.
I'm not fine with being played for anything because that's basically all people have done for me and like I said, I can tell when people don't actually care for me now thanks to that.
I'm so confused, so someone doesn't talk about how wonderful you are on their blog everyday or something and that means they're using you? Yikes, guess that means I'm using all my partners.
-"I'm working to improve" doesn't excuse abusive behavior.
-You don't have BPD either. This is a thing Tumblr has told you that a lot of people have. Tumblr lied. It's actually pretty rare, and I doubt you have it.
-At 19, you are absolutely a kid.
-It's entirely possible you are using all of your partners; abusive people often end up around each other. Don't mistake our concern for your well-being with a universal assumption that you're a good person. You're connected to Springtrapp. This is not a point in your favor. My advice to you would be to never assume that people here are universally on your side. Historically, it hasn't been a safe assumption.
