Steve1989MREInfo / Steve1989 / Steve Thomas - that guy that eats old MREs

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Lichen Bark said:
Why do Steve's hands shake so much? Do the MREs get him so excited he vibrates with anticipation?
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My theory is that years of eating all those horrifying chinese MREs and expired stuff has mutated him to the point he's basically become like a jem'hadar - except instead of ketracel white he starts shaking, goes violently psychotic and kills everything in sight if he goes too long without eating an MRE

Actually makes sense from a military ration point of view

Just wait until something interrupts his supply of MREs and he ends up ripping some guys windpipe out and immediately saying nice! listen to that hiss!
 
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WonderWino said:
Just wait until something interrupts his supply of MREs and he ends up ripping some guys windpipe out and immediately saying nice! listen to that hiss!
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Nah, we've already determined he can hold off the beast with Twinkies. You can stockpile a bunch of those for emergencies and not worry about them going bad; Q.E.D.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Nah, we've already determined he can hold off the beast with Twinkies. You can stockpile a bunch of those for emergencies and not worry about them going bad; Q.E.D.
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twinkies.gif
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Haven't people said before that the reason Chinese MREs aren't great is because they usually have a mobile kitchen when they deploy, and thus very rarely use their MREs?
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Our (Burgerland) military does the same, yet here we are.

I get a kick out of the fact that China is trying so hard to carbon copy our MRE shit, like the retort pouches, and just can't manage. China always gonna China.
 
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2023 Chinese PLA Type 20 Self Heating Food​


"These guys were having to eat with that powder on their fingers, along with lead, and they don't even have moist towelettes, y'know? Think about it."

Two-year shelf life means it's legally edible! Every compliment Steve gave this ration, while sincere, also had an air of relief to it.

"It smells normal... which is great. Always a plus, for a PLA ration."

"Mmm... morale."
 
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2024 US MRE Jalapeno Pepperjack Beef Patty​



Another new one, but this ration isn't just replacing an old menu, it has a "prototype component--this is the first year for it!" It's... apple dessert spread.

"Amazing. A new component. and one with some real versatility. Might go well with the marble pound cake. Who knows what else you could do with it?"

If Konami makes another Metal Gear without Genius Kojima, I want Steve to be available on CODEC so I can call and ask him about the things I'm about to eat. He could write his own lines and save them paying a historical military ration consultant and a voice actor.


This MRE really seems like a teenager on a road trip, let loose at a gas station convenience store. If they acknowledged that and claimed it was on purpose, they could get ahead of criticism. It's meta, private!
 
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Aunt Carol said:
If Konami makes another Metal Gear without Genius Kojima, I want Steve to be available on CODEC so I can call and ask him about the things I'm about to eat. He could write his own lines and save them paying a historical military ration consultant and a voice actor.
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It's not too late to sneak him into the 3 remake
mrq0qms563r41 (1).png
 
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Steve just dropped two videos:

2024 US Meal Cold Weather Chicken & Biscuit Dumplings MCW Review Ration Taste Testing Arctic MRE


and

2023 Taiwan Field Heated Lunchbox & 2020 Field Ration Type A B & C On the Trail 24 Hour MRE Testing


Chill out for a second and listen to this FM radio voiced guy talk about rations.
 
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murph said:
2023 Taiwan Field Heated Lunchbox & 2020 Field Ration Type A B & C On the Trail 24 Hour MRE Testing
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Aw, he's so happy to determine that the bar isn't moldy. And he really likes the biscuits, even as he admits they'd get same-y.

"Taiwan.. they have the most aromatic raisins."

I liked the story about how this ration came to Steve; it's that personal touch.

"It's actually the freshest, most normal-smelling retort pouch rice I've ever smelled out of a ration." -- it never gets old, Steve Appreciating In-Date Food.

"There's a carrot and potato--just enough to say it's there."

Whoa--after the first meal, at 25 minutes in we cut to Outdoor Steve! With a special focus on whether items are thirst-provoking.

"Eww, what is up with these... might be saving them for display. *eats anyway* Oh, they're fine."

"Bizarre sheet of meat."

"Nice ferns." -- a rare non-food review!

"Ooh, more of the melted things! And this time they are... extra mysterious."

"Aromatic, like a chocolate... air freshener."

"Each bean tastes a little bit different!"


This was a fun installment; nothing tried to kill Steve, and he got to eat rations like the US Chinese Government intended: out in the field, at the end of a hike, trying to figure out what kind of bird was looking at him.
 
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murph said:
Steve just dropped two videos:

2024 US Meal Cold Weather Chicken & Biscuit Dumplings MCW Review Ration Taste Testing Arctic MRE


and

2023 Taiwan Field Heated Lunchbox & 2020 Field Ration Type A B & C On the Trail 24 Hour MRE Testing


Chill out for a second and listen to this FM radio voiced guy talk about rations.
Click to expand...
This was perfect to watch over breakfast. Good spotting, bro.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
Aw, he's so happy to determine that the bar isn't moldy. And he really likes the biscuits, even as he admits they'd get same-y.

"Taiwan.. they have the most aromatic raisins."

I liked the story about how this ration came to Steve; it's that personal touch.

"It's actually the freshest, most normal-smelling retort pouch rice I've ever smelled out of a ration." -- it never gets old, Steve Appreciating In-Date Food.

"There's a carrot and potato--just enough to say it's there."

Whoa--after the first meal, at 25 minutes in we cut to Outdoor Steve! With a special focus on whether items are thirst-provoking.

"Eww, what is up with these... might be saving them for display. *eats anyway* Oh, they're fine."

"Bizarre sheet of meat."

"Nice ferns." -- a rare non-food review!

"Ooh, more of the melted things! And this time they are... extra mysterious."

"Aromatic, like a chocolate... air freshener."

"Each bean tastes a little bit different!"


This was a fun installment; nothing tried to kill Steve, and he got to eat rations like the US Chinese Government intended: out in the field, at the end of a hike, trying to figure out what kind of bird was looking at him.
Click to expand...
Those are some choice quotes. Pretty sure Steve could carry the random.txt banner all by himself.
 
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