Skitzocow Taxman / Kyle Hawkins

[Platypus]

The whole trip from Datura is to see things but not know they aren't real. Supposedly you're convinced that what you are seeing is legit happening while also feeling out of it enough for it to not seem out of the ordinary. I think this shows that while he WANTS to open a portal to the MLP place he knows he can't so he's going to try to create the feeling with a dangerous drug that most people don't enjoy the trip from. Why? So he can talk to a cartoon pony and not feel like it's imaginary.

Fucking bronies.

Anything to get away from those dirty immigrants and be with his TRUE love in his TRUE form in the perfect land of ____! (insert fandom here)

I'm pretty surprised that there hasn't been some sort of fucked up pony equivalent to Heaven's Gate, though Taxman is almost heading in that direction.

 

[LurkerTheLurker]

Graffiti Canvas has it quite right, I would say.

I also edited my post again with another update. He claims to have taken the entire bag of seeds, which comes out to 100.

 

[CatParty]

not with the show.

Nah the show has created many horrible autists. Taxman is great because we get to watch one self destruct.

 

[Graffiti canvas]

Graffiti Canvas has it quite right, I would say.

I also edited my post again with another update. He claims to have taken the entire bag of seeds, which comes out to 100.

If he really did take all of them, then he should be in the grip of a miserable time right about now. According to accounts, it can take a few hours to take effect by seed ingestion and last for several days. Datura seeds can vary with potency greatly as well.

Regardless, taking all 100 seeds (if he actually did) would most likely cause him severe and very damaging physical effects like dangerously high body temperature, prolonged rapid heart rate and severe dehydration. These happen at lower doses. At higher doses (and by any and all counts 100 seeds is very high) the possibility exists of fatal heart arrhythmia, a collapse of the circulation system and it could shut down the parts of his brain that control breathing.

Although most people reportedly seem to die from just doing stupid shit while in the grip of deliria.

If he REALLY took 100 seeds and survives, we shouldn't see anything from him for a few days and if we do, it will be visibly apparent. He'll feel like his worst hangover from any drug was just a warm up exercise.

EDIT: The effects on his brain are a moot point.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

If he really did take all of them, then he should be in the grip of a miserable time right about now. According to accounts, it can take a few hours to take effect by seed ingestion and last for several days. Datura seeds can vary with potency greatly as well.

Regardless, taking all 100 seeds (if he actually did) would most likely cause him severe and very damaging physical effects like dangerously high body temperature, prolonged rapid heart rate and severe dehydration. These happen at lower doses. At higher doses (and by any and all counts 100 seeds is very high) the possibility exists of fatal heart arrhythmia, a collapse of the circulation system and it could shut down the parts of his brain that control breathing.

Although most people reportedly seem to die from just doing stupid shit while in the grip of deliria.

If he REALLY took 100 seeds and survives, we shouldn't see anything from him for a few days and if we do, it will be visibly apparent. He'll feel like his worst hangover from any drug was just a warm up exercise.

EDIT: The effects on his brain are a moot point.

If he chewed them properly or ground them up then he is going to fucking trip really fucking hard for a few days or die. I don't know what happens if you just straight up swallow the seeds. They don't do as much but I don't know by what amount.

 

[Massif]

If he chewed them properly or ground them up then he is going to fucking trip really fucking hard for a few days or die. I don't know what happens if you just straight up swallow the seeds. They don't do as much but I don't know by what amount.

I think if you just swallow whole seeds of any kind they are a lot less likely to do anything.
My understanding is that a lot of seeds have specifically evolved to be resistant to the digestive system since one of their mechanisms of spreading is through poop.
Not sure about this one specifically though.

 

[AnOminous]

If he really did take all of them, then he should be in the grip of a miserable time right about now. According to accounts, it can take a few hours to take effect by seed ingestion and last for several days. Datura seeds can vary with potency greatly as well.

This is the kind of thing where anything from nothing to death could happen. You're supposed to do a small amount of any sample of datura first before trying a heroic dose, because the potency is unknown. Well, actually, you're not supposed to do this shit AT ALL, EVER.

At least he didn't grind them up in a coffee grinder or something to potentiate them first.

Maybe he'll live.

 

[The Oddball from MLW]

Okay. I engaged in some conversation with Tax. First, he wanted me to tell you guys he's still alive and well. Secondly, he has told me that it's not a good high, plus he constantly feels thirsty and has a low heart rate (66 bpm) at the moment. But here's the horrifying part. He drove to work, high on 100 datura seeds. He said that if he doesn't feel he should drive he'll walk home and make a video.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

So, his imaginary friend told him not to take the drug. His delusion of a drug curse goddess told him not to take the drug. A bunch of more or less sane onlookers told him not to take the drug. So what does Taxman do? He takes the drug. I assume that this kind of willful self-destruction is the reason all his friends eventually leave. There really isn't anything you can do for someone like that and most people don't want to see the inevitable disaster, so they don't stick around. If he'd stop hurting himself, not only would his life improve for the obvious reasons, but he would actually have friends.

I can't help but wonder if he took the drug as a form of attention-seeking behavior, though. I mean, he rants about us and blames us for problems in his life. But then, he told Oddball to tell us he's still alive. Why does he want to reassure us that he isn't dead yet? Why does he care about what we think? If we think that he's dead, we'll go away. Apparently he doesn't want that. I guess he'd rather have people laughing at him than no attention at all.

 

[AlmightyMagichan]

Tax is so tsundere for us

 

[Girlfriend-free Boy]

Have you ever been so batshit insane to the point where even the voices in your head want you to tone it down a bit?

 

[Silver]

Nah the show has created many horrible autists. Taxman is great because we get to watch one self destruct.

I don't think watching anyone self-destruct is entertaining. I know you just say this shit to rile people up but sometimes I wonder how serious you are with some of these statements.

 

[Bugaboo]

I don't think watching anyone self-destruct is entertaining. I know you just say this shit to rile people up but sometimes I wonder how serious you are with some of these statements.

You know cat posts shit like that to rile people up, eh?

 

[Sanshain]

I don't think watching anyone self-destruct is entertaining. I know you just say this shit to rile people up but sometimes I wonder how serious you are with some of these statements.

I find it stupid because sooner or later one of these idiots will actually kill themselves, and suddenly everyone on the farms will be staring blankly at the people who went 'lol wat a waste of oxygen he needz 2 die', which will inevitably result in them trying to BAWLETTE DUCKING EVERYTHING. If there really are people who'd defend this kind of attitude after such a radical change of context, then they're as much a cow as the ones whose threads they frequented.

 

[CatParty]

I find it stupid because sooner or later one of these idiots will actually kill themselves, and suddenly everyone on the farms will be staring blankly at the people who went 'lol wat a waste of oxygen he needz 2 die', which will inevitably result in them trying to BAWLETTE DUCKING EVERYTHING. If there really are people who'd defend this kind of attitude after such a radical change of context, then they're as much a cow as the ones whose threads they frequented.

Lol no he should do it because then he can finally make it to his pony paradise

 

[tomgirl4life]

I find it stupid because sooner or later one of these idiots will actually kill themselves, and suddenly everyone on the farms will be staring blankly at the people who went 'lol wat a waste of oxygen he needz 2 die', which will inevitably result in them trying to BAWLETTE DUCKING EVERYTHING. If there really are people who'd defend this kind of attitude after such a radical change of context, then they're as much a cow as the ones whose threads they frequented.

Can we get a "butthurt" rating?

 

[Silver]

You know cat posts shit like that to rile people up, eh?

I'm not actually riled up tho, just a bit... concerned I guess

 

[Sanshain]

I'm not actually riled up tho, just a bit... concerned I guess

I don't find it overly annoying. This is the internet, there's no point taking it too seriously if it isn't personal - probably not even then. It just decreases the quality of the forums as a whole, like a single small pothole in a fresh tarmac road ensuring at least one jolt per ride, regardless of the distance traveled.

 

[José Mourinho]

We have seen so many lolcows who threatened to kill themselves. ADF, Vade, Chris, Thonis, Andrew Dobson, Connor Bible, StraySheep, Robert Wayne Stiles, Golden Knight and most of freaking Tumblr. And how many of them have actually killed themselves? None, unless you count Elliott Rodger but he was milked after he killed himself.

It's 100% perfectly fine to feel bad for a lolcow, and it's nothing wrong with giving advice to that lolcow, but how many lolcows we have seen who have actually took advice? Very few, and this depends on the type of the lolcow. And considering you have a brony who is so alcoholic who wants to go to Equestria by drinking, it's fucking impossible to help him. It's as easy as trying to get a drunk alcoholic to stop drinking and move on with his life (which is, not possible). You also have to consider how addictive alcohol is too, it's not like you can drink a lot and immediately stopped doing it that easily. If you really think Taxman is actually going to listen your advice and be like "Oh wow I can't believe I'm so stupid in drinking so much that I thought I could go to Equestria! Thank you so much I'll stop doing it now!" , we wouldn't have so many lolcows on the Internet. And as for people wanting to help a cow, this isn't the first time it happened.

Way back then (and even today), we had threads by people feeling sorry for Chris, considering how his life had gone way downhill from him promoting Sonichu to his dad's death, from his house burning to raging about Sonic's blue arms. People thought he would commit suicide. People thought he would kill himself in prison. And look what happened to him now? Did he actually kill himself? No. And would Chris kill himself now? Highly unlikely at this point. And let's not lie to ourselves and yes, most of us do feel sorry for Chris at certain points, but we pretty much learnt that Chris could not be helped , and we'd rather watch the Chris drama unfolds from start to finish instead of wasting our times helping him (even his IRL friends couldn't help him!) Even fucking Clyde Cash was one of them who tried to help Chris a lot too back then, but gave up because it's no point and it's like talking to a brick wall. This could apply to any other major cow too.

Same thing applies here. The only thing we actually have to do now is to just watch the Taxman show. You can laugh at him, you can get terrified at him. You can feel sorry for him all you want, that's fine, but trying to help him is no use and all it does is just clogging up this thread.

Even if Taxman actually killed himself, which caused zero content for him, admit it: Can you think of any ways to help him to stop killing himself? Do you think a simple PM would help him to stop doing it? Do you think begging him to stop being alcoholic would help him? No. Right now Taxman is in a state of downfall with no return, and it's useless to help him.

Also, look at posts like this:

I don't think watching anyone self-destruct is entertaining. I know you just say this shit to rile people up but sometimes I wonder how serious you are with some of these statements.

I find it stupid because sooner or later one of these idiots will actually kill themselves, and suddenly everyone on the farms will be staring blankly at the people who went 'lol wat a waste of oxygen he needz 2 die', which will inevitably result in them trying to BAWLETTE DUCKING EVERYTHING. If there really are people who'd defend this kind of attitude after such a radical change of context, then they're as much a cow as the ones whose threads they frequented.

Exactly. That's why I rate it dumb every time. It is just a shit post that has to be glossed over and scrolled past. They get deleted from everyone except dynastia and cat, and I don't get why they get special treatment from the mods. Their posts are boring, predictable, and unfunny and not even very volatile.

Are already making this thread fucking shit. We don't give a shit if you're a brony, but if you're a brony trying to white knight/help him, this is where you have to take a step back and think twice whether your actions actually work. If not, forget it.

I have to post this fucking again:

• Don't White Knight. Don't turn threads with people of interest into an intervention. You are not their protector. If you want to help, contact them privately.

Is watching a brony being so delusional into going to Equestria funny? Well, it's subjective, but we're here to discuss Taxman. Yes, you can feel sorry for him, but there are other people who just want to see him burn, just like how Nick Bate going to prison for his stupid tweets and srhbutts to see if he'll get arrested. If you want to help him (though like I said before it's impossible), contact him privately.

Also, if you think @cat was posting just to rile you up, you're half-right. But at the same time he's trying to get to the points on how there's no point in helping Taxman, because it doesn't work.

Because we are here to mock lolcows not feel sorry for a sperg in the same community

If he is rusing, then it makes anyone who feels sorry for him look like a total asshole

why in the hell would you want to help him!?

Lol why would anyone want to help a brony

Guys it's just a brony.

Why would anyone want to stop the lols? This is ridiculous.

If simple points like "It's hard to help him" or "We're here to mock lolcows" are hard to get to you, congrats, you are even worse than the Entersphere subforum at this point considering at least that subforum knew what they were doing.

I'll lock this thread for now until everything cooled down. This thread was filled with godawful autism that people here really need to figure out what are they aiming for.

 

[José Mourinho]

Okay I'm reopening this thread now. Also, since several users here are requesting about it, I threadbanned @cat just to see if the thread is better without him (though I doubt it). If the thread quality remains the same, I'll unthreadban him.

Remember, it's fine to feel sorry for a lolcow, but there's zero point in having a pity party here. Now back to discussion.