Terrible SJW Movie Sequel/Rehash/Reboot Ideas - Do your worst.

[Terrorist]

Dirty Harry reboot where his partner is a based trans-cop (like how he had a WOC sidekick in the 3rd one). It's meant as agitprop to get conservatives on the tranny train.

Picture it: Based Transcop kills 7 super-rapists with a single bullet, but big gubmint stooge Needledick McBureaucrat won't acknowledge "her" pronouns on the paperwork. Harry of course objects because he's not some politically correct pussy who listens to HR (He's just like me thinks the audience of beergut conservadads who were once admonished for sharing a Carpe Donktum video, and took it lying down).

ND McB: "Lt. Callahan, you're not allowed to lie on an official report, and I don't care what your partner thinks he is. One more incident like this and I'm busting you down to meter maid!"
Harry: "You think that isn't a beautiful woman standing in front of you? What are you, some kinda fag...not that there's anything wrong with that...ya fag. I hate everyone equally, cis, trans, pan, or enby." *stares menacingly*
ND McB: "I buh-buh-buh...fuhhhh???"

It's a flop, but the National Review loves it, and Turning Point USA buys out entire showings to own the libs ("Dems r real transphobes!").

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

I’m just assuming.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

View attachment 1513542
I’m just assuming.

I've been rewatching the original recently and you know what, it's not the worst idea in the world just taken as a straight-up concept. The humor style can get kind of tiresome and the characters stay rather one-note for years, the drama sequences are vastly better-acted and written.

But you're right, in Current Year it'll be socjust bullshit, plus despite Smith being the central character James Avery was the actual heart of that show. It will not be good.

 

[Judge Dredd]

The humor style can get kind of tiresome and the characters stay rather one-note for years, the drama sequences are vastly better-acted and written.

Bel-Air is like Duck Tales in that it's a show that works better in isolation than it does as an actual show. The theme tune is memorable, and there are some good memes and references that came out of it, but ask people to recall a specific episode and their reactions are like the NPC meme.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Bel-Air is like Duck Tales in that it's a show that works better in isolation than it does as an actual show. The theme tune is memorable, and there are some good memes and references that came out of it, but ask people to recall a specific episode and their reactions are like the NPC meme.

The episodes I remembered are definitely the more drama-centric ones, like where Carlton accidentally took speed, or Will's father came by, or the last episode. Episodes that actually focused on real person problems rather than "Hooooo we black but rich look at them white people bein' WEIRD hooooo!" One of the strengths of the show is that when it could stop lazily leaning on ancient "Black people be like _____, but wypipo be like _____!" standup humor it actually addressed issues that had a nice overlap of universal understanding and things that were obviously particular to black Americans. But "lazy" is the go-to in current TV writing, especially when addressing current hot button issues.

 

[Dysnomia]

Hermione's Head, based on the Fox sitcom Herman's Head.

Hermione (deadname Juan) is a a non-binary afro-latinx vlogger who collects a disability check because mean words gave her PTSD. Xe is the proud main fronter of a headmate system. His vlogs are all about xer headmates, burgeoning career as a game dev (and racism). The show contains segments of Hermione's headmates chilling in zir headspace where they do productive things like play video games and discuss white privilege.

Hermione's pronouns change several times a day so don't forget to ask.

Meet Hermione's headmates!

Consuela: Large and in charge! Consuela is a 6'4 560 lbs afro-latina trans QWEEEEN! And does she slay! Consuela has a mind of her own and she is not afraid to let you know it. Misgender her and she will put some serious hurt on your cisphobic ass. Known to randomly start ranting in Spanish, you better learn her language 'cause afro-latina traswomen are the future! Fronts when Hermione is being cyber or irl bullied by ciscum racists. Pronouns: She/Her

Sacagahontas: A young two-spirit Cherokee prince/ss. Hermione believes xir is actually the spirit of their great great great grandmother who was totally a Cherokee princess because that one drunk uncle told xem so. It's totally not culture appropriation so shut up! Sacagahontas is a non-verbal austistic child who loves game development. They front when Hermione is hard at work developing an MMORPG about institutional racism. Pronouns: They/Them, Xey/Xir

Harold: An edgy black, gay witch who is totally not based on Harry Potter. Harold is here to tell you that yes, black gay men can totally use magic and be fabulous at the same time. Harold fronts whenever Hermione needs to change xer outfit, decorate his Section 8 apartment or roleplay as a black magic user who is totally not Harry Potter. And no, Harold isn't a gay stereotype you homophobic racist. Pronouns: He/Him, Fab/Fabulous

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

How about we reboot Ghostbusters, but make them all female? Then make all the men in the film either assholes or so stupid they'd never survive in real life. Some of the best lines in the original we improvised, so if make all 4 of them the comic relief and let them improv, it will be 4 times funnier. Then make a dubstep remix of the theme tune. Plus if anyone says they don't like it, we accuse them of being sexist.


Nah......that's a stupid idea. Who would ever release something like that?

 

[The Pink Panther]

Ghost Dad 2, except it's about a father in the ghetto that gets shot down by white police officers and tries to get revenge.

 

[Dysnomia]

How about we reboot Ghostbusters, but make them all female? Then make all the men in the film either assholes or so stupid they'd never survive in real life. Some of the best lines in the original we improvised, so if make all 4 of them the comic relief and let them improv, it will be 4 times funnier. Then make a dubstep remix of the theme tune. Plus if anyone says they don't like it, we accuse them of being sexist.


Nah......that's a stupid idea. Who would ever release something like that?

That got my head gears a turnin'.

Imagine this.... The Ghostbusters are the bad guys! A group of white supremecists want to build their KKK Nazi bunker over a forgotten slave cemetery from the 19th century. But guess what? It's haunted! The ghosts of dead slaves are angry that whitey wants to build a racism clubhouse on their final resting place. So the white hoods have no choice but to call the Ghostbusters!

Now it's up to the dead slave ghosts and their #woke decendants to get some much needed reparations. They manage to turn Winston Zeddemore to their side and toger they they cross the streams, waste their enemies and have a huge dance party. The bunker is repurposed as a BLM headquarters and police free zone which soon spreads around the country. The USA is now an irl Wakanda.

 

[Pitere pit]

Salõ, or the 120 days of Sodom but instead of partisans they are all edgy kids who watch Nick Fuentes and the four wealthy men are BLM trans non binary looters.
Life of Brian. Loretta is Jesus and Brian mom.

 

[OvercookedBacon]

Party of Five, but the main cast is latinx and instead of their parents being killed, mean old ICE deported them.
Oh, wait.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Party of Five, but the main cast is latinx and instead of their parents being killed, mean old ICE deported them.
Oh, wait.

So instead of being the victims of an accident their parents were just assholes, okay.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Sorry for the necro, but saw this in another thread and wanted to reply to it.

Ironically Heather is one of the more popular SH protagonists from what i've seen.

I'd imagine a modern SH3 would turn her into Ellie from TLoU2, retcon Harry into an abusive father that kidnapped rather than rescuing her back then (It was actually race-swapped Cybil who did all the work! Fucking straight white men taking credit for us strong independent Black women's work!)

Douglas is an old white male, they'll want to make him as irredeemable and pathetic as possible, ironically turning him into the best character in the game in the process. Either that or turn him into a blander inoffensive black dude.

Claudia will be a tragic queer woman who was actually right all along. The game would ship her and Heather even harder than the fanbase ever did.

Have no idea what'd they do to Vincent.

Wow, my dude was right, there's no way we would've gotten the Silent Hill 3 we know, today.

Cybil would be changed to either die in a painful or stupid way like in the movie or be a bad guy, because ACAB.

Heather would be given neon hair with a side shave and tattoos.

I don't remember much about Vincent other than the "they look like monsters to you" scene. Based on that scene, he'd either stay the same, or be presented as some kind of internet troll.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Salõ, or the 120 days of Sodom but instead of partisans they are all edgy kids who watch Nick Fuentes and the four wealthy men are BLM trans non binary looters.

If they did that, it'd likely have the opposite effect of what they'd be intending and would end up being the /pol/ equivalent of Reefer Madness.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Tootsie

Tootsie in 2021

 

[Oats12345]

Texas Chainsaw massacre where the Sawyer family are trump supporting Hicks who never supported leatherface's drag/trans identity and the five youths are

Franklyn becomes a black crippled Muslim
Sally is blue haired feminist dropout from Berkley trying to make a cartoon with tumblr level drawing skill
Pam is a lesbian transwoman trying to seduce Sally

Kirk and Jerry are a gay couple from San Fran nervous about driving through Texas and Jerry's a member of nambla

Oh and everybody but the Sawyer's a vegan because meat is murder! meat bad!!!

Seeing this. I thought it was funny because R.Lee Remy was the reboot of Texas chainsaw massacre in 2003. Where he played the father of the swyer family. It's funny because R.Lee Remy surpported Trump in 2016.

 

[Dysnomia]

Family TransTies

Former SJW activists who trooned out after having kids (so dad is mom and mom is dad) and the daily lives of their three children.

Mom (formerly Dad) is a stay at home mom who works part time for Trans Lifeline not picking up phones. In her spare time she's a game journalist and aspiring developer of visual novels about transkids. Dad (formerly Mom) is a diversity advisor for a local TV station.

Eldest son Cosmo is the family black sheep. A Young Republican and Trump supporter, he brings his mom (who used to be his dad) to tears daily by not validating her pronouns. He has been pretty lonely since Dad (formerly Mom) convinced his best friend Skippy that transitioning to female would get him a girlfriend. Nova doesn't feel comfortable around Skippy anymore.

Middle non-binary, female presenting AMAB sibling Aiden Harley (deadname Skaiye *pronounced Sky*) is a social media influencer and makeup artist. Xe has quit school with the blessing of xir's parents to focus full time in Instagram. Xe has just gotten their own vegan makeup palette. Is currently dating an agendered pansexual softgirl named Luna.

Youngest daughter Nova is a tomboy. But her parents think that a girl who plays baseball and wears overalls is definitely suffering from dysphoria. So they have talked her into taking puberty blockers. Watch the hilarity ensue next week when her best friend mistakes them for breath mints!

And surprise surprise! Dad (formerly Mom) is yet to fully transition and via Mom's (formerly Dad's) frozen sperm is pregnant with a fourth child who they intend to raise completely non-gendered as a theyby!

And you won't believe the season cliffhanger! Guess what family is about to become poly?

 

[Captain Marvelous]

A Xena: Warrior Princess reboot where Xena and Gabrielle are blatantly a couple, while Xena wears incredibly thick plate armor to cover everything up instead of what she wore in the original.

Everyone will also make a big deal about how Xena is a warrior, bUt AlSo A wOmAn.

Joxer is portrayed as even more pathetic than he was originally, and is made gay, black, or both.

Half of the Greek gods seen in the series aren't white, and the male gods will be seen as incompetent or evil.

The Twilight of the Gods arc is somehow even worse because they demonize Christianity while destroying the Greek Pantheon. Either that, or they make Eli black.

 

[Mr. ShadowCreek]

The Polar Express where the kids still go on a train to the North Pole to see Santa but is also about the kids finding out their sexual identities.

Hero Boy- He's a gay in denial. He pretends to act all stright and homophobic but he's gay. At the end of the movie he accepts his identity.

Hero Girl- She's a lesbian and proud of it. She's also BLM even though it takes place in the 50s.

Billy- He doesn't know yet. The Hero boy and girl try to help him find his identity.

Know it All Boy- Asexual. He accepts everyone for who they are but has never fallen in love himself.

Conductor. He's a gay man. He takes people to the North Pole to see Santa and to help people find themselves. Also might be a predophile.

Ghost- Possibly bi. He loved both in the past. Even while dead he promotes his sexuality.

Santa- He is pan. Afterall, Santa loves everyone. He made the train so people will still believe in him and become LBGT. Has dated the Conductor.

Sarah- She's trans. At first heroboy is embarrassed to have a transgender sister. by the end he accepts it. Santa even gives her blockers and hormones.

 

[Product Placement]

Posted some of these in another thread

WW2 animated comedy movie about the final days of Hitler. Turns out he was killed by a team of Mexican drag queens and Eva Braun was secretly one of them. Animated and written by the team behind Q force.

Cleopatra movie starring Lupita Nyong'o in the title role, Cleopatra rages war against the invading Alexander the Great and his armies lead by Caligula while showing us the true meaning of girl boss.

Rosemary West TV show, with Emma Stone in the lead role. When she was 15 she met Fred West a paedophile who threaten to kill her and her family if she didn't marry him. During the marriage, he starts committing murders and making her get involved. This all comes to a stop when her daughter Charmaine West is killed by him which is one step too far for her. Rosemary West then takes a stand working with the police to finally put a stop to him, however, the police betray her and she also goes down.

Reality TV dating show, where so-called straight men are unknowingly placed on dates with trans women or online dates with gays, the purpose is to challenge heteronormativity that sociality still holds and show that sexuality and gender comes in many forms. Rehash of the blind dating shows.


Sitcom following a recently widowed father of two, who is having a hard time dealing with everything after the death of his wife, until his brother-in-law comes to help. What starts off as being friends and much-needed help turns romantic, now they must deal with the backlash and homophobia for their new relationship while juggling the realities of parenting in the 21st century.

Robocop reboot: He is killed by dirty cops after planing to rat them out for killing a number of innocent black trans women. The new Robocop ai is too strong and he will stop any crime from anyone which means the police departments time is about to run out and a new fascist state where no one is safe is about to be created under Robocop.