i work behind the counter at a vape store. some people that come in are cool as fuck, but boy howdy do i have to deal with some weird motherfuckers. earlier today i had to tell some drunk bastard to not come behind the fucking counter to look at stuff. one guy that pretty clearly had aspergers stayed for about 4 or 5 hours chatting my ear off about stuff he had. it wouldn't have been awkward if it wasn't for the fact business is usually slow and i'm the only person working. he seemed like a good kid, i didn't have the heart to kick him out. it probably helped that he kept buying shit.
another time, about ten minutes before closing, a gaggle of what i could only assume were inbreds piled in. these people were like the mcpoyles in real life. after i complimented one of the guys' hunter s. thompson shirt, the group parted like the fucking red sea as a whole goblin sauntered up to the counter. she had the face of a shar pei, with glassy eyes bulging out of her head. one eye on me, one eye looking at the wall to my right. she waved her pen around and gargled out that she needed a tank to fit her battery. after showing about 3 or 4 tanks that were comprable they all left at once.
a dude that was as tall as he was round came in for a pack of coils. this guy looked like if dumbledore was raised in the appalachian mountains on a steady diet of butter. he gave me his pen, which was one of the most disgusting god damn things i have ever seen. there were clumps of hair in the mouthpiece, particles of something floating through his tank, and fucking mold in the air flow vent. it smelled like death incarnate.
bear in mind that you can't return your shit, like how you can't return a used bong. two older guys came in, one of them immediately screaming about how we sold him a piece of shit and all that happy horseshit because his tank was getting hot and leaking. for those who don't know, if the cartridge that vaporizes the juice is fucking up it's typically because it's just a dud, or it can get too hot causing it to leak. i tried to explain that several times but i'm not sure if he was exceptional or just wanted to start shit, shouting about how he was a vet and that i was trying to get him out of the store. i was telling him how to fix the fucking thing. his buddy who had not said a word the entire time eventually caught on and they left.
one day i saw this little ass kid, couldn't have been older than 7, walk past the shop. he had a fucking beretta in his hand. to this day i'm not sure if that actually happened.
oh, don't forget the crackheads, because there are a fucking ton of them in georgia. one came in asking if i knew anyone that likes to suck dick. for the record, i don't. i told him to check out the hot wing restaurant ran by koreans next door. he came back a week later, pacing back and forth mumbling "menthol..." to himself in a voice not unlike dr. rockzo. i had to kick him out, and he walked around the parking lot for like 20 minutes.
other than that, i'll deal with the occasional trigglypuff knockoff and exactly-eight-packets-of-ketchup motherfuckers that will inevitably have a thread here on the farms.
