Culture The Hottest Thing a Man Can Do Is Not Be a Dick About Astrology - Hating astrology is a typical straight-guy schtick, but it may be hurting your dating life


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Straight men, the internet has a question for you: Why do you hate astrology so much?

Hannah Ewers was among the first to pose the query in a 2018 Vice article, followed by Leah Thomas writing for Cosmopolitan the next year. The answers they found, based on interviews with real, red-blooded, astrology-hating straight men, are more or less what you might expect, because they’re probably ones you yourself have given: It’s “not real,” it’s girl stuff, or, as one particularly charming 20-something told Ewers, “If you try to bring up that shit with me, I’ll think you’re a mindless bimbo.”

In other words, men feel entitled to belittle and denigrate astrology for the same reason they feel entitled to belittle and denigrate anything else society has coded as “feminine” or otherwise related to women: because the very thread that holds a patriarchal society together is the fundamental — if now largely unspoken — belief that womanhood itself is inherently bad. Thus, anything of or related to women must, by extension, be foolish, frivolous, stupid or simply evil.

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This attitude has inevitably colored modern man’s response to astrology, despite the fact that the gendering of astrology as categorically “feminine” is a relatively recent development in the practice’s two millennia or so of existence. As former straight male astrology skeptic turned straight male astrologer Samuel F. Reynolds noted in a response to Ewer’s piece, women did not enter the field of astrology in any formal way until the 20th century. Even today, he tells InsideHook, leadership in the field remains largely, if surprisingly, male.

“The people who lead in astrology, who write the books, who are the headliners at conferences, they’re still men,” says Reynolds, explaining that the modern gendering of astrology that relegates the practice strictly to the domain of women is, quite simply, “BS.”

That said, I am not particularly interested in investigating why straight men hate astrology — as you may have noticed, I think I have a pretty good idea already — nor am I interested in trying to change your mind. What I am interested in doing, however, is explaining why it might be in your best interest to, at the very least, stop being a dick about it.

Hating astrology is a turnoff

As society increasingly begins to reckon with the forces of toxic masculinity and the adverse effects it has on people of all genders — including straight, cis men — those who openly deride astrology are beginning to find themselves among a class of “alpha-male” types often characterized by less-than-progressive views and a commitment to dated, arguably unsavory notions of hypermasculinity.

As recent reports on the rise of “wokefishing” — in which online daters boast more progressive views than they actually hold — suggests, even those who proudly position themselves toward the right of the political spectrum know that their views might not be helping their dating lives. And while dissing astrology may be a less egregious offense — more akin to expressing antipathy for veganism than, say, raging against a specific minority community — it can still come off as a red flag.

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“It just feels very closed-minded to me when a guy is immediately very dismissive of astrology, even when he plays it off as a ‘joke,’” says Emma, a 25-year-old who considers herself a moderate astrology fan.

For what it’s worth, however, Reynolds is willing to cut astrology haters a little slack if they’ve been burned by astrological malpractice at the hands of amateur enthusiasts.

“I think it’s also important for women to own some things themselves, right? There’s been some abuse of astrology, especially in this popular moment,” he says, citing the possibility that some men may be turned off by the idea because they’ve been spurned by a would-be lover who rejected them on the basis of astrological incompatibility.

In my own experience, however, this particular trauma does not seem to be the case among the vast majority of men who have allied with the war on astrology.

“He doesn’t have to give me his whole birth chart or anything. I’m not grilling him to see if we’re really ‘compatible,’” says Emma. “But when he won’t even entertain it in good fun it just comes off as stubborn and retrograde.” Pun intended, presumably.

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Meanwhile, if astro-intolerance is a red flag, then an affinity or even just a polite acknowledgement of astrology from a man seems to signal the opposite for many prospective partners.

“I think if a guy can acknowledge or appreciate it, it says more about who he is as a person,” says Lena, a 22-year-old who, despite only having a casual interest in astrology herself, sees a man’s response to the subject as potentially reflective of his views on other, more pressing social issues.

“It’s kind of similar to guys who can acknowledge that women still experience sexism,” she continues. “I don’t need a guy to get worked up about it, but when he knows it happens to us, it’s comforting, because at least then I know he is aware of other people besides himself. I feel like acknowledging astrology is similar.”

A tale as old as toxic masculinity

While the leap from astrology to sexism may seem questionable, Reynolds actually sees modern male antipathy for astrology as deeply rooted in patriarchal structures, suggesting a more insidious mindset may underlie casual astro-shaming as well as much darker manifestations of toxic masculinity today.

This link between astrology hating and misogyny is apparent in more overt ways, specifically the mere act of men belittling a woman’s interest in something in the first place. As Reynolds wrote in his response to Ewers’s Vice article, “If he belittles you because you’re into astrology, fuck him. (And I don’t mean literally.) You don’t need to look up his Mercury sign to know he’s a jerk.”

But according to Reynolds, there’s more to it than the obvious red flag of a guy being rude to a woman.

“There’s something that I think is deep in the male psyche that we need to talk about,” he tells InsideHook. “Men associate who they are, as men in relationships, with how they shape and define the other person’s personhood. Their sense of identity is that fragile, and that has really powerful implications — not just in terms of how he’s dealing with you in a particular conversation on the first date about astrology, but in more bizarre and horrendous ways, like why are there more men who do murder-suicides?”

Obviously, not all men who hate astrology are killers, but Reynolds’ argument seeks to highlight the insidious through line that unites seemingly casual displays of sexism and machismo to their horrific extremes — and it doesn’t just begin with the modern masculinity crisis as we know it today.

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Cope harder, tarotcels. :story:
 
Women believing in astrology more than men does show a sexist society, but not the way she thinks. It shows that while men are encouraged to persue things that have actually been proven to be real like maths and other STEM subjects, women are fobbed off with bullshit like sociology and gender studies.
 
I used to live next to a woman who worked for The Psychic Friends Network. She wasn't a raving lunatic when it came to the stuff but she truly believed she was psychic. She wasn't playing Miss Cleo. I was a kid at the time so I didn't really get it at first. But I think her beliefs sprang from the fact that she found out she was adopted and her birth mother was a Jewish teen who immigrated from Hungary. She was born some time in the 30s so things must have been very hard on her birth mother. She never got to meet her because she died young. So this woman converted to Judaism and got into astrology. She was a battleaxe. But a good battleaxe.

So I think that a lot of these women have identity issues or feel lost. And they find something like astrology and just run with it. Because it fills a hole. It's fine when it's for fun. But when it becomes an obsession and you are screaming at people on Twitter for not believing that their sun is in the house of Mercury or whatever you need to take a chill pill.

And that's why a lot of guys are turned off in the first place. If your guy doesn't like astrology and you keep having bitch fits over it sooner or later he's going to take your chart and shove it up your twat. Maybe you two just aren't as compatible as your horoscope says. :biggrin:
 
I almost feel like the whole men vs. woman astrology thing is just being made up so these magazines have something to write about. I've never met a woman who cares about astrology beyond reading her horoscope in the morning paper, nor any man who ferociously hates it. Is it something that's only a problem among the terminally online?
 
I pissed an ex off really bad because I "screwed up" a psychic reading because I fucked with the psychic.
Love 'em or hate 'em, but the Penn & Teller's Bullshit! episode (first season, I believe) where they did something like this was fantastic. They sent the same guy to three separate psychics for readings, playing a different character for each one. For the first one, he played a powerful, wealthy businessman. For the second, he played an average Joe. For the third, he played a downtrodden unemployed loser. Each psychic gave a drastically different reading, each conveniently lining up with the kinds of things the character would have wanted to hear (the wealthy guy got lots of praise while the dumpy loser got advice on how to do better at interviews). It's all just cold-reading, and the people who fall for it are gullible fools.
 
I'd like to remind you all, in like 2017.... IIRC..... the MSM ran articles that the latest solar eclipse would be visible to more Trump voters than Hillary ones....

Not that it was going to cause something good, bad, or indifferent to happen.... just that it was gonna happen.... and Trump...... somehow made it important

And that was a NEWS article..... in a MAJOR paper.
 
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Most of the people I've come across with a serious interest in astrology or divination were either weird New Age types or based neo-pagans. I can understand why people might be put off by the former, but the latter is definitely a turn-on for me.
 
I wonder if she has any articles lamenting the lack of good men and how she's unable to settle down with a nice husband who makes six figures.
 
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