The (likely redundant) Chris and Work thread

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maninthepicklesuit said:
I can imagine tomgirl Christian wearing a Burger King uniform, standing around with a vacuous look on his face and scratching his ass, while a frazzled Rocky hurriedly assembles hamburgers for him.

Meanwhile, Barb in the background is yelling within earshot of paying customers, "Chrisshun! Whar's your paycheck? I got's ta run ta the phar-ma-cee, an' buy that there butt cream, mah co-litis is actin' up something fierce agin!"
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The way you write Barb's voice is hilarious.
 
Mogambo said:
Why wouldn't he? You've said yourself that Chris just wears whatever is lying around, and we all know he has notoriously bad judgement. I don't know him well enough to make any assumptions here, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he DID show up in full tomgirl attire. Hell, he might even think it counts as "dressing up" to make himself more presentable...

Of course, while we're on the subject, I should imagine tomgirl Chris would be confusing for employers in general. I mean, I'm sure most would misinterpret it as some form of homosexuality or transgendered identity, which means they'd probably try not to offend Chris.
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I wouldn't put it past him, he did dress up in borderline full Tomgirl garb for his court appearance.
 
Fatty would have zero chance of getting a job by going thru normal channels. He's been out of society for far too long to be able to related to anyone in any meaning full way.

What he needs to do is using is SSI benefits to get some skill training and hopefully a job placement program for those with special needs.
 
When I worked at Target the part that motivated me to go to work everyday was the people I worked with. Some great, hilarious dudes and some pretty boyfriend-free girls. In a lot of ways it is like high school. You wear your uniform, you do shit you don't want to for 8 hours with your classmates while authority figures patrol the aisles and back room, meanwhile you figure out ways to be bad and get away with things. The pay sucked and the work was hard. I worked construction after that and now I work HVAC. Skilled work retail is not, but it is a lot tougher physically in my opinion. Non stop. Boxes. All day. On your feet. All. Day. But its low stress. They aren't going to throw anything new and stressful at you. Just more boxes.

I don't really know if I have a point to this post or not. I think he would enjoy working a lot more than he thinks he would. Some retail chain will hire you, no matter who or what you are. They will give you a discount on LEGO and vidya and whatever else you want. Lots of people to talk to and girls for him to creep on and text when he is off work. The girls that work at Target are usually a little off the beaten path so they'd be more apt to put up with him and his shit. If he invited them to his 35th birthday party they'd probably go.
 
I always thought Chris would have made a good door-to-door salesman -he likes to spout stuff from commercials in nearly every conversation -but the Cutco job proved that he was too lazy. Unless he or his parents realized that Cutco was a scam...yeah, no.
 
___ said:
Full disclosure. I have family member who works with the mentally handicap who are much like Chris. She gets them jobs and holds their hands through the process and checks in with them frequently and communicates with their boss or supervisor directly. They rarely work jobs where they deal with customers or a lot of coworkers. It's usually low paying part time jobs like sorting items at a recycling facility, minor janitorial work, or a job at Goodwill. Chris would most likely need this sort of situation.
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Well, most of us have seen the I Sort Glass commercial but that requires Chris having some sort of work ethic to begin with. No amount of hand holding and slow learning will fix that.
 
Marvin said:
Why would he fight with callers? And why would he do tomgirl stuff at an interview?
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Why wouldn't he? He has no concept of social norms or what's appropriate. He thought it was cool to wear the wrong robe at his college graduation, he thinks putting a poorly fitting suit jacket on over his clown shit medallion and dad jeans is "Dressing up". He thinks he can use the woman's bathroom because he's a "tomgirl".

Chris is terminally fucking retarded and lazy. Between those two and how arrogant he is there is no way he could hold down a job for more than a couple weeks.
 
waffle said:
Why wouldn't he? He has no concept of social norms or what's appropriate. He thought it was cool to wear the wrong robe at his college graduation, he thinks putting a poorly fitting suit jacket on over his clown shit medallion and dad jeans is "Dressing up". He thinks he can use the woman's bathroom because he's a "tomgirl".

Chris is terminally fucking retarded and lazy. Between those two and how arrogant he is there is no way he could hold down a job for more than a couple weeks.
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Heh, and one would think he wouldn't work for his money either. But he's trying that now too. Desperate Chris isn't the same as comfortable Chris.
 
Marvin said:
Heh, and one would think he wouldn't work for his money either. But he's trying that now too. Desperate Chris isn't the same as comfortable Chris.
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Could be, noone rely knows. But I think the smart money is that he couldn't hold down a job even if he wanted to, his instinct to be a lazy asshole is too strong. He'd do something wrong and not even know it until he was already fired, because autism. His impulse control is just too week to repeatedly not fuck up over the long terms. Eventually someone/thing would rustle his jimmies and he'd flip shit and get fired.
 
waffle said:
Could be, noone rely knows. But I think the smart money is that he couldn't hold down a job even if he wanted to, his instinct to be a lazy asshole is too strong. He'd do something wrong and not even know it until he was already fired, because autism.
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No, Barb controls Chris through some fucked up emotional, and almost physical intimidation. If she needs Chris to do something, either he does it or someone's going to jail.

I think that Chris has the human desperation in him to do his best job maintaining it. He might fuck up one or two jobs, but he seriously isn't going to mess up a third. Barb would either believe Chris' excuse about why he got fired, fight the manager and go to jail, or she'd flip out at Chris and something bad would happen.

Seriously, if Barb's back's against the wall, she's not going to let Chris fail.
 
Sonitistic said:
When I worked at Target the part that motivated me to go to work everyday was the people I worked with. Some great, hilarious dudes and some pretty boyfriend-free girls. In a lot of ways it is like high school. You wear your uniform, you do shit you don't want to for 8 hours with your classmates while authority figures patrol the aisles and back room, meanwhile you figure out ways to be bad and get away with things. The pay sucked and the work was hard. I worked construction after that and now I work HVAC. Skilled work retail is not, but it is a lot tougher physically in my opinion. Non stop. Boxes. All day. On your feet. All. Day. But its low stress. They aren't going to throw anything new and stressful at you. Just more boxes.

I don't really know if I have a point to this post or not. I think he would enjoy working a lot more than he thinks he would. Some retail chain will hire you, no matter who or what you are. They will give you a discount on LEGO and vidya and whatever else you want. Lots of people to talk to and girls for him to creep on and text when he is off work. The girls that work at Target are usually a little off the beaten path so they'd be more apt to put up with him and his shit. If he invited them to his 35th birthday party they'd probably go.
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And the odds of OPL shoplifting go up tenfold if he ever got a stocking job...hell even a damn cashier job at get-tar or walmart regions.
 
Once upon a time Chris applied to Target. Chris "complimented" the interviewer, which I'm sure you all can imagine how that went down. I don't know why Chris didn't get the job. :\

Bonus scene: SOMEBODY ;) went to Target, called them and asked to speak to Clyde Cash(yeah, this was a long time ago). They paged for Clyde Cash, but no idea if fatty heard it.
 
Now, everyone says that Chris is incapable of work. That's totally true in his present situation. But keep in mind the massive amounts of debt Chris has presently as well. When the rental house and whatever crap is packed in their at the moment get repossessed, Chris is going to be faced with the grim prospect of homelessness. This is more wishful thinking than anything else but would it be possible for Chris' living situation to become so dire that he would have to go get a job? Chris has a lot of problems but at one point or another, the :tugboat: isn't going to cut it. It's either a job or he's going to have to wear the same :briefs: for days and sleep under a bridge.

Besides, how else are Chris and Blorb going to get the currency to make their :qsand:s?
 
well if anything, he could work, he just chooses not to.

Sometimes there are programs for special needs people to help them get jobs instead of go through the interview process, or work at one of those places that just hires special needs people, the places in my city were a bit under fire because they were paying them really low wages though
 
Marvin said:
No, Barb controls Chris through some fucked up emotional, and almost physical intimidation. If she needs Chris to do something, either he does it or someone's going to jail.

I think that Chris has the human desperation in him to do his best job maintaining it. He might fuck up one or two jobs, but he seriously isn't going to mess up a third. Barb would either believe Chris' excuse about why he got fired, fight the manager and go to jail, or she'd flip out at Chris and something bad would happen.

Seriously, if Barb's back's against the wall, she's not going to let Chris fail.
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I have no doubt that Barb will do anything to try and make Chris get and keep a job if she feels she needs to. I don't even doubt that Chris would try his best to keep it, I just think that no matter how hard he tries he will eventually get fired from anywhere he works. I even totally agree that at that point she will either beat the shit out of Chris, try and fuck up the manager or just chalk it up to the vast trolling conspiracy.

Chris is a human, and human nature is to get complacent. If he holds down a job f0or more than a couple months he'll figure he's a fixture and nothing can happen to him, then something will cause him to act out and he'll be out the door.
 
Konstantinos said:
Chris is going to be faced with the grim prospect of homelessness.
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Christian's already got a head start on wearing funny second-hand clothes, begging for stuff, and having dubious hygiene. Plus all that blubber is going to keep him warm for the first couple of months.

Christian may have finally found his calling.
 
waffle said:
I have no doubt that Barb will do anything to try and make Chris get and keep a job if she feels she needs to. I don't even doubt that Chris would try his best to keep it, I just think that no matter how hard he tries he will eventually get fired from anywhere he works. I even totally agree that at that point she will either beat the shit out of Chris, try and fuck up the manager or just chalk it up to the vast trolling conspiracy.

Chris is a human, and human nature is to get complacent. If he holds down a job f0or more than a couple months he'll figure he's a fixture and nothing can happen to him, then something will cause him to act out and he'll be out the door.
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Chris falls into patterns. I would worry about him less, if he can manage to keep the job for a certain amount of time.
 
maninthepicklesuit said:
Christian's already got a head start on wearing funny second-hand clothes, begging for stuff, and having dubious hygiene. Plus all that blubber is going to keep him warm for the first couple of months.

Christian may have finally found his calling.
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Hey, Chris might finally be able to become Colossal-Chan now!
362px-ColossalChanRealistic.jpg
 
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