The (likely redundant) Chris and Work thread

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I don't think that Chris is feasible for a job, he's never had any gainful employment in the past and with the way the job market is right now, he would have a difficult time trying to find a job if he wanted to.

If Chris were to get a job, he would have to have a position where there isn't much social interaction and I don't know exactly what kind of job that would be.

I've been on disability since '03 and I know that now it would be difficult for me to get a job as most people are struggling with that as well.
 
I had the fleeting thought that maybe, with all the vidya he plays, that he could do alright as a game tester. He wouldn't have to interact with a lot of people, he'd only be required to know his way around a console and a computer, and he gets to try something new before the general public can and get paid for it.

But then I concluded that he wouldn't last more than two days. He'd expect to just play vidya all day and not run any actual tests, complain about not being allowed to play a game other than the one assigned to him, and any bug reports that you do manage to get him to write would be a nightmare to proofread. He'd also offend his teammates with his odor, harass female testers, and even if somehow none of those get him fired then he'll most likely blurt out something somewhere on the Internet that ends up breaking his NDA. Depending on how sensitive the information is, he would not only lose his job but could also have legal action taken against him.
 
sm0t said:
I had the fleeting thought that maybe, with all the vidya he plays, that he could do alright as a game tester. He wouldn't have to interact with a lot of people, he'd only be required to know his way around a console and a computer, and he gets to try something new before the general public can and get paid for it.

But then I concluded that he wouldn't last more than two days. He'd expect to just play vidya all day and not run any actual tests, complain about not being allowed to play a game other than the one assigned to him, and any bug reports that you do manage to get him to write would be a nightmare to proofread. He'd also offend his teammates with his odor, harass female testers, and even if somehow none of those get him fired then he'll most likely blurt out something somewhere on the Internet that ends up breaking his NDA. Depending on how sensitive the information is, he would not only lose his job but could also have legal action taken against him.
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Yeah, video game testing is a lot of tedious work. But even if the job description really was just "play games all day", he still wouldn't get along well, because his boss would tell him to play this game for an hour, then play that game for the next hour, so on, and it wouldn't be exactly what Chris felt like doing.
 
Picklechu said:
Chris should get a job testing new medications for UVA. It would only be a short drive, and he'd get paid to sit around and do nothing for a few hours after stuffing several candy-like pills down his throat. *yawn*
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would Chris even make a good guinea pig?
 
Crazy Pacer said:
He's too unhealthy. You don't have to be at peak health to do studies but you do at least need to meet a minimum standard.
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I live in DC, and I see ads in subway train cars advertising NIH studies for people with various illnesses to test the efficacies of the drugs.

And, Chris already has autism, so he wouldn't have to worry about taking vaccines. :ween:
 
I'd love to see him host a call-in radio show, where he gets to talk about whatever he wants for the allotted time, but has to answer the caller's questions. All you'd really need to do is have someone on the phones who'd know not to let the Julayweens on the air, and a big flashing red light so Chris knows when to throw to a commercial.
 
I don't think the novelty of it being Chris would make up for being hosted by a person who can barely speak coherently.
 
Anything jobs for him at Toys R Us? If they even hired him, they'd probably fire him for employee theft.
 
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If it's possible to have a negative as your driving force, unwillingness to work could be said to be Chris'. He won't work for the money, even though he has none. He won't work to make his parents proud. He won't even work if he thinks he's going to get china out of it (unless you count the Carlos Chantor business), as various sweethearts have proven. He doesn't care about the respect of society or personal advancement. Basically, being a lazy fatso mooching his way through life is his life's ambition.

He's perfectly capable of working, but he'd need to be forced at every turn. He only responds to a direct rewards/punishments system. I don't think it's legally possible, but what he needs is someone to have control of his finances, who won't take any shit and will make him work. If he doesn't work, no tugboat. If he gets fired, no tugboat until he gets re-hired. Chris will tard-rage like anything, but given no choice but to comply, he could probably do okay in a menial job. I've seen worse people stacking shelves.
 
Marvin said:
Because it's Chris and he's applying for a job?
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I get that. But I'm not sure he really understands the concept of what's appropriate behaviour or dress and what isn't. Maybe back when he was in high school and surrounded by other human beings, but now? He seems to be getter further and further from any sense of normalcy. Barb isn't exactly a good role model. Hell, he wore that blue robe to his graduation because he thought it was "funny" or something. I don't have much faith in him....

Konstantinos said:
Hey, Chris might finally be able to become Colossal-Chan now!
362px-ColossalChanRealistic.jpg
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Ha!
 
Mogambo said:
I get that. But I'm not sure he really understands the concept of what's appropriate behaviour or dress and what isn't. Maybe back when he was in high school and surrounded by other human beings, but now? He seems to be getter further and further from any sense of normalcy. Barb isn't exactly a good role model. Hell, he wore that blue robe to his graduation because he thought it was "funny" or something. I don't have much faith in him....
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Well, no, he does dress himself up very well nowadays, when he's trying to impress someone. He just doesn't bother normally. He normally just wears any old thing. And his "good" behavior is awkward, but not going to keep him from getting a job.

And yeah, given that he can manage that, his fear of Barb is all that's needed to make very tolerable attempts at getting and maintaining some fast food job.
 
Descent said:
Chris wouldn't find bugs. He didn't think there was anything wrong with Sonic '06.
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Was that failure to spot bugs, or just because he'd feel like he was betraying Sonic if he criticised?

(insert joke about Branchland Court infestation here)
 
normankrasner said:
Anything jobs for him at Toys R Us? If they even hired him, they'd probably fire him for employee theft.
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I worked at TRU for 9 months. He couldn't handle the bullshit. The Corporate crap you need to do is stupidly complicated. Sell batteries. Sell worthless warranties on everything. Pimp the credit cards. Stock, interact with children. All these are things that would cause Chris to lose his shit and his job in short order. They probably wouldn't hire him anyway save for seasonal work. We had some real fuckups in the seasonal positions. Chris level, even. They rarely lasted more than a week or two.
 
drmccoy said:
I worked at TRU for 9 months. He couldn't handle the bullshit. The Corporate crap you need to do is stupidly complicated. Sell batteries. Sell worthless warranties on everything. Pimp the credit cards. Stock, interact with children. All these are things that would cause Chris to lose his shit and his job in short order. They probably wouldn't hire him anyway save for seasonal work. We had some real fuckups in the seasonal positions. Chris level, even. They rarely lasted more than a week or two.
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Chris wouldn't even have to deal with the corporate crap, he'd screw up just by playing with toys all day instead of actually working. He'd figure that having the TRU outfit meant he was in charge of the toys, so he could do what he wanted.

...or he'd lose his shit when another person bought the toy he wanted.

...or he'd creep out a parent by talking to their kids about Sonichu.

Actually, come to think of it, a job at TRU would involve MORE ways to fail than most others. If, hypothetically, Chris were to get a job, it would have to be something NOT stimulating to his interests.
 
Marvin said:
Well, no, he does dress himself up very well nowadays, when he's trying to impress someone.
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"Someone", eh? :tomgirl:
Really I can't imagine who he would be trying to impress, unless you guys lured him into another fake date.
 
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