The NFL Thread - Root for your favorite team (or laugh at the Browns, whichever's easier)

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Who are you rooting for in Super Bowl 60?

  • New England Patriots

    Votes: 11 22.0%
  • Seattle Seahawks

    Votes: 25 50.0%
  • Team State Farm

    Votes: 1 2.0%
  • The Meteor

    Votes: 13 26.0%

  • Total voters
    50
  • Poll closed .
I’m not saying he’s not talented - he’s made the NFL, regardless of what his ceiling is, he has to have something - but the problem is he’s possibly the textbook example of a System QB. And the system he’s always played was drawn up by his father, who has also been his coach basically everywhere he went. His father clearly wants the Sanders family to become a Football Dynasty, and so he designed the system to play perfectly to Shaddeurs strengths, and to stat pad so he’d look amazing come draft time.
Well, that's the reason I called him a shittier Goff. He can read defenses and has a good arm, and he's also pretty accurate.

The minute he's pressured he starts running backwards. This is going to be his doom. After they scrape Flacco's corpse off the field he'll probably set the new record for yards lost after a sack.
 
So, What are estimates for the Seahawks's W-L numbers this year? Right now my own opinion in term of optimism is "maybe? Too early to hype or doom" since among other factors i'm waiting to see which Darnold we will see
On the one hand, our WR room is pretty unproven. On the other, the defense really pulled it together towards the end of last year. Geno vs. Darnold is basically a wash (seriously go look at their stats last year, they were alarmingly similar), but Kubiak is probably an upgrade in terms of playcalling over Ryan Grubb. And we play both South divisions this year, which means our schedule is easier since the only likely playoff teams in that group are the Bucs and maaaaaybe the Texans.
I'm guessing about the same as last year (10-7), maybe incrementally better and we compete for a wild card spot. But unless half of the 49ers die again or Stafford's back finally disintegrates, our ceiling in the division is 3rd.
 
Ownership meddled for Deion’s Nepo-Baby and fucked him over.
Jimmy Haslam may be the worst, archetypical "hands on" owner, ever. Every decision on that team that has had his fingerprints on it have been unmitigated disasters.

- Draft Johnny Manziel, an absolutely walking trainwreck of a person, because a homeless man told you to or some shit.

- Runs Baker out after turning the team completely around and winning a playoff game in Pittsburgh.

- Replaces Baker with a guy who had a zillion legal issues involving forcing massage massage therapist to thumb his asshole. A guy who held out for an entire fucking year the year prior.

- To acquire said replacement, send three 1st, a 3rd, and two 4th round picks. So effectively 2x Micah Parsons. Then pay him a record breaking, fully guaranteed contract because you got played by his agent. Afterwards, the replacement QB misses the first 11 games because of his need for women to thumb his asshole and promptly behind either beyond awful or hurt for the next several years.

- Force your team to draft a guy that would certainly invite the surreal type of drama that only the Browns could achieve. For a position you want the least amount of drama. After you already drafted a guy that would make your QB room 'full' by every standard metric.
Meaning I fully expect that Deion Sanders is likely going to be the one Browns next Coach, and we’ll all get to laugh at the Browns trying to out lolcow the Cowboys.
Haslam is 100% gameing for Deion next off-season because he'd love the chaos it'd bring. It's like the "okay that's just ridiculous" switch never flips on in his head and he's unable to learn from it. At least with the shit Jerruh pulls, you can at least see the demented logic there. All Haslam is accomplishing is turning the Browns into a clownshow without making any money off of it.
 
Surprised he and Jerruh don't have lolcow threads here. I mean Tony Khan has one (I think it's still in PG).
Single owners are probably too niche, but am aggregated "NFL Owners" lolcow thread could probably be healthy. I mean, how many are categorically retarded? 5? But when they fuck up, it's usually pure funny. Like Bud Adams giving fans the one-fingered peace sign. Him also falling in love with Vince Young and ruining his team for several years. Who can forget Robert Kraft getting a handjob from a shady massage parlor in a Florida mall? Or Al Davis (RIP) bringing in an overhead projector to fire a head coach he was mad at?

Then you have the NFL owner jewry. Like Kroenke whisking the team to LA. Mike Brown being Mike Brown. Or a community-owned team selling worthless pieces of paper they call "stock" for hundreds of dollars and be the only ones allowed to do it. (I say this as a proud owner of the Green Bay Packers and as an owner you can all refer to me as "the big man").

NFL owner thread with some history/context of the categorically retarded owners would be pretty cool. Especially the in memoriam section for Al Davis as the greatest of them all.
 
Single owners are probably too niche, but am aggregated "NFL Owners" lolcow thread could probably be healthy. I mean, how many are categorically retarded? 5? But when they fuck up, it's usually pure funny. Like Bud Adams giving fans the one-fingered peace sign. Him also falling in love with Vince Young and ruining his team for several years. Who can forget Robert Kraft getting a handjob from a shady massage parlor in a Florida mall? Or Al Davis (RIP) bringing in an overhead projector to fire a head coach he was mad at?

Then you have the NFL owner jewry. Like Kroenke whisking the team to LA. Mike Brown being Mike Brown. Or a community-owned team selling worthless pieces of paper they call "stock" for hundreds of dollars and be the only ones allowed to do it. (I say this as a proud owner of the Green Bay Packers and as an owner you can all refer to me as "the big man").

NFL owner thread with some history/context of the categorically retarded owners would be pretty cool. Especially the in memoriam section for Al Davis as the greatest of them all.
Can't forget Hugh Culverhouse, man was responsible for the Bucs' troubles in the early years. Also obligatory "Fuck you, Spanos".
 
Single owners are probably too niche, but am aggregated "NFL Owners" lolcow thread could probably be healthy. I mean, how many are categorically retarded? 5? But when they fuck up, it's usually pure funny. Like Bud Adams giving fans the one-fingered peace sign. Him also falling in love with Vince Young and ruining his team for several years. Who can forget Robert Kraft getting a handjob from a shady massage parlor in a Florida mall? Or Al Davis (RIP) bringing in an overhead projector to fire a head coach he was mad at?

Then you have the NFL owner jewry. Like Kroenke whisking the team to LA. Mike Brown being Mike Brown. Or a community-owned team selling worthless pieces of paper they call "stock" for hundreds of dollars and be the only ones allowed to do it. (I say this as a proud owner of the Green Bay Packers and as an owner you can all refer to me as "the big man").

NFL owner thread with some history/context of the categorically retarded owners would be pretty cool. Especially the in memoriam section for Al Davis as the greatest of them all.
You forgot Dan Snyder and his team's damn good culture.
I know most Tree fans live for Kevin Harlan's "I'm calling both games!" in the NFL Sportsball opening, but this Bruce Allen quote is my favorite.
 
On the one hand, our WR room is pretty unproven. On the other, the defense really pulled it together towards the end of last year. Geno vs. Darnold is basically a wash (seriously go look at their stats last year, they were alarmingly similar), but Kubiak is probably an upgrade in terms of playcalling over Ryan Grubb. And we play both South divisions this year, which means our schedule is easier since the only likely playoff teams in that group are the Bucs and maaaaaybe the Texans.
I'm guessing about the same as last year (10-7), maybe incrementally better and we compete for a wild card spot. But unless half of the 49ers die again or Stafford's back finally disintegrates, our ceiling in the division is 3rd.
I still don't really understand why they got Darnold, him and Geno are basically one in the same. Geno is mid/average sure but I saw some pretty subpar oline play from Seattle and that certainly doesn't help.
 
I still don't really understand why they got Darnold, him and Geno are basically one in the same. Geno is mid/average sure but I saw some pretty subpar oline play from Seattle and that certainly doesn't help.
IMO, the change was probably to help shift the culture. Geno was there during the old regime and could lean on say "well we used to do it this way". I'm not saying he did, or that there's any negative context alongside that, but just the nature of QB being such a focal point position and the coaching staff not wanting to worry about someone looking back on how things used to be when they were "good".
Believe me, it's on purpose.

Look I'm still just happy to not have the worst owner in the Division - thanks Cowboys - , don't make me remember the Snyder years.
Ahh yes. A man who jewed too close to the sun.
 
I still don't really understand why they got Darnold, him and Geno are basically one in the same. Geno is mid/average sure but I saw some pretty subpar oline play from Seattle and that certainly doesn't help.
Darnold is six years younger than Geno and is coming off a borderline MVP season. Darnold also had a better career as a backup than Geno did. I personally don't think Darnold is going to do well in Seattle or become a reliable starter the way he was in Minnesota, but on paper it comes across as the better investment. Worst case scenario he drives them into a terrible record in a year or two where they can then have better draft positioning to obtain a young QB out of college.
 
Darnold is six years younger than Geno and is coming off a borderline MVP season. Darnold also had a better career as a backup than Geno did. I personally don't think Darnold is going to do well in Seattle or become a reliable starter the way he was in Minnesota, but on paper it comes across as the better investment. Worst case scenario he drives them into a terrible record in a year or two where they can then have better draft positioning to obtain a young QB out of college.
The Seahawks have an out on the contract after 2026, and he costs less against the cap both of the years leading up to it than Geno's 2 year contract w/ the Raiders.
Good spot to grab a developmental QB in the 3rd round with great measurables, questionable decision-making, and SEC experience, just saying...
 
To acquire said replacement, send three 1st, a 3rd, and two 4th round picks. So effectively 2x Micah Parsons. Then pay him a record breaking, fully guaranteed contract because you got played by his agent. Afterwards, the replacement QB misses the first 11 games because of his need for women to thumb his asshole and promptly behind either beyond awful or hurt for the next several years.
As soon as he started for the Browns he was sidearming and dirting everything.

I'm pretty convinced that Watson knew he shredded his shoulder and that's why he sat out, making this, funnily enough, the highest-IQ career move in NFL history.
 
As soon as he started for the Browns he was sidearming and dirting everything.

I'm pretty convinced that Watson knew he shredded his shoulder and that's why he sat out, making this, funnily enough, the highest-IQ career move in NFL history.
That's what puts it into absolutely zany territory for me. Not just the shoulder issue but also tearing his ACL the year prior to the hold out. I get that ACL tears are no longer the type of injury that irrepairably "changes" anymore, but he seemed different after that. Then you roll up into the shoulder issues and hold out year and it's absolutely astonishing how hard the Browns hitched their future to him. Even if you don't consider his weird sexual deviancies and everything that comes with that, I just don't understand how you ignore the very blatant and obvious risks.
 
To be fair, I wasn't into it until 2022. Sorry for causing trouble, I just wanted people to laugh at Jerry Jones.
It was removed so fast I didn’t even see it lmfao. Jerry Jones deserves to be laughed at. I personally feel like watching NFL every Thursday, Sunday, and Monday, along with listening to NFL podcasts everyday puts on me on that one bell curve meme, I’m just not sure which end I’m at.
 
That's what puts it into absolutely zany territory for me. Not just the shoulder issue but also tearing his ACL the year prior to the hold out. I get that ACL tears are no longer the type of injury that irrepairably "changes" anymore, but he seemed different after that. Then you roll up into the shoulder issues and hold out year and it's absolutely astonishing how hard the Browns hitched their future to him. Even if you don't consider his weird sexual deviancies and everything that comes with that, I just don't understand how you ignore the very blatant and obvious risks.
The funny thing about the whole DeShaun Watson trade debacle is you can sum it up with one of those IQ bell curve memes. bell-curve-v0-ua8cx3e0fa3f1.webp
 
It was removed so fast I didn’t even see it lmfao. Jerry Jones deserves to be laughed at. I personally feel like watching NFL every Thursday, Sunday, and Monday, along with listening to NFL podcasts everyday puts on me on that one bell curve meme, I’m just not sure which end I’m at.
Here ya go!
Screenshot_20250828_203231_Brave (1).webp
I saved it to ensure it would survive in perpetuity.
 
Jimmy Haslam may be the worst, archetypical "hands on" owner, ever. Every decision on that team that has had his fingerprints on it have been unmitigated disasters.
Jimmy Haslam is fucking dogshit, there's no doubt about that. But if there's anyone who could legitimately give Haslam a possible run for his money when it comes to being hands-on and having the exact opposite effect of the Midas touch where everything turns to shit instead of gold, it would probably be Woody Johnson.

Last season was probably the most Jets season in existence thanks to his constant meddling after he, the elderly football manchild nepo baby equivalent of James Dolan, came back from Trump ambassador exile. The Jets were about to finally become a formidable team thanks to Woody not meddling with the team due to him being an ambassador.
But then, he returned. Coupled with already signing a visibly declining Aaron Rodgers (who is practically already a lolcow in his own right, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten a thread on here yet), he also fired Saleh who was integral to how that team worked. Woody firing Joe Douglas thanks to Woody's son dictating the team based on Madden ratings (thus resulting in them missing out on signing Jerry Jeudy) was the cherry on top of the shit sundae.

Even if Zach Wilson is a mediocre quarterback at best, I do believe that if the Jets stuck with him, it still would have been far better than signing Rodgers. Woody did say that he's stepping back from meddling after last season, but having known him for a long while as a lifelong Patriots fan, I tried not to burst out laughing as I typed that out.

I think Jon Bois put it as best as possible: "The New York Jets don't play football, football just sort of happens to them."
 
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