Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Power Appreciator]

I have taught the Machine about pooners.

My inspiration was this post by @Larry David's Crypto Fund, it's a detailed and observant description that I immediately thought would work well as a SD prompt:

Went into a shop today and was greeted by the most hideous pooner I have ever seen. It was hard to disguise my reaction, she wasn't just ugly, she was truly disfigured by the hormones. Short and fat goes without saying, balding, covered in cystic acne sores, and a neckbeard that didn't stop in any of the places normal facial hair stops- like instead of growing a beard she'd broken out with a case of facialhairpox and the pustules were everywhere from her clavicle to her eyebrows.

Since this is just a shitpost and a proof of concept I took a zero effort approach and just preprocessed some pooner drawings from this thread manually and dumped them into a google colab to make a basic bitch Lora. It really is not a good Lora

Here are some more sample pooners I made with it:

Pooner cat (not what I had in mind but I like this dood)

Painting of a pooner by Zdzislaw Beksinski



These are the training images I used, if your drawing is here I hereby salute your contributions to the advances of poontech:

If you know how to use SD and want to try your hand at generating AI pooners, I uploaded the Lora here

Here are some tips on how to use it:
- Keep the weight at 1 probably
- If you want to make gruesome bodyhorror pooners I recommend combining my pooner lora with one of the body horror Loras from civitai (keep the other lora's weight lower at 0.3-0.
- It should work with any model and sampler, I assume realistic models would give more funny (this means more disgusting) results
- This goes without saying but DON'T USE ANY STANDARD NEGATIVE EMBEDDINGS like BadDream, Easy Negative and so on. Keep the negative prompt to the minimum, I just put "manly, masculine, pretty" there
- I forgot to change the default trigger word so put "mksks" in the prompt, still use the word "pooner" at the beginning,
- Don't forget to put all the standard pooner traits in the prompt, I'd start with "(pink skin:1.5), (ear tunnels, big red lips:1.2), bulgy black eyes, scars". Use general descriptions like putrid, nauseating, gruesome, disgusting as well for better results
- Go out and poon to the extreme!

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Why do they always have such weird fucked up beard growth?
Like it's always literal neckbeards.
They don't seem to be able to grow facial hair the way a man does, I just don't get it, it's weird and Uncanny Valley as fuck.
Bizarrely Hirsute Pooners.

I think it's because their hormonal balance is out of whack. It's like a combination of the moldy fruit looking stache you see on very young guys who aren't quite there yet (but their dads and friends tell them to shave that shit off and try again later) and the greasy pube beard of a grossly obese man who has DDD cup moobs.

The area around the cheek bones is the last place for facial hair growth to really fill out and a lot of the pooners never get that far so they are stuck with hitler staches and neck beards.

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

Wait the Pooners date is a Pooner too?
I honest to shit thought that was a fat fucking troon just LARPing as a Pooner because they know they'll get laughed at the fuck as a fat fucking bearded troon with muh Fibruh.
(Of course she has muh Fibruh)
Jesus fucking Chris these fucking creatures are what pathological tolerance has gotten us.
Well fucking done.
Thanks Obama.

It's pooners all the way down, my friend

 

[cybertoaster]

There's incel pooners now?

MFW

Oh god you reminded me of this other dating show. Poor gay lad is promised "we've got a lovely man for you" and gets set up with a dood.

That's the least convince tranny-man ever, she's even wearing girl jeans, literally "white girl desperate for attention"-syndrome.

Worst part is that's a 10/10 in bongistan.

The "if only you knew how bad things are" face, lots of those with pooners for "some reason"...

 

[Procrastinhater]

I have taught the Machine about pooners.

Oh Jesus what have you done

That first Pooner is fucking horrific.
The second one looks like an Alien, like what would happen if people started a Colony on Mars populated only with Pooners that had artificial Womb tanks to reproduce and was isolated for ten thousand years to evolve into those things.
I love your Cat Pooner btw

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

That's the least convince tranny-man ever, she's even wearing girl jeans, literally "white girl desperate for attention"-syndrome.

Worst part is that's a 10/10 in bongistan.

"Caelum" as well, it's always badly Anglicised Gaelic names. The actual name is Calum or Caluim. I suppose there were already too many Aidens. You'd think the micks would have suffered enough by now, but then Brit troons come and steal their names, like some sort of retarded dyslexic trickster faerie.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

"Caelum" as well, it's always badly Anglicised Gaelic names. The actual name is Calum or Caluim. I suppose there were already too many Aidens. You'd think the micks would have suffered enough by now, but then Brit troons come and steal their names, like some sort of retarded dyslexic trickster faerie.

Should be named Calcium because she's going to need it if she's on blockers.

 

[soulless guarantee]

The beard thing could also be based on the advice that comes up in men's grooming discussion boards (as in, boards participated in only/largely majortarily by men). Someone will post a "help, my beard is patchy!" and the advice is pretty much always to let it grow out further, so that any bald spots (I.e. a scar etc) have hair around it to cover it. There usually aren't photos to accompany the post, so men just assume it's a small patch and that the poster is overthinking something that isn't noticeably to other people. For a long time, I've assumed a lot of neckbeards and teenage boys had some combo of this, plus lack of personal care (assuming "let it grow" is the same as "don't keep it neat"). Now I add the wonderful image of it being a pooner infiltrating a faceless men's space, and being given terrible advice because the men assume you are also male. Pooners and teenage boys are approaching beards in the same manner as each other - I don't look as masculine as I would like (either due to age or sex) and think they just need a beard to then be treated like a real man, neglecting any other part of self improvement required to become what they want to be.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

To answer the eternal question of the pooner neckbeard. It comes down to the types of testosterone floating around in the endocrine system. Specifically the levels of DHT which is converted from testosterone.

Everyone has free testosterone, even natel women. Free testosterone typically effects libido, lean muscle mass, and yes, some virilaztion in both sexes. I can almost gaurantee you even the most feminine natel women will pluck a chin/neck hair here or there every now and then, just depending on where she is on her ovultion cycle and how her hormones are surging.

Anyways, while androgenic hair can be stimulated by free testosterone, the majority of it is cause by DHT, not free testosterone. Especially the hair follicals in the cheek and cheekbone area. (I read an article years ago thats beard growth in this area may have been evolutionary selected for as a sort of "primate lion's mane", but for the life of me I can't find it now...) Men typically have no problem converting free testosterone to DHT.

Ironically, excess DHT is also the hormone responsible for male pattern baldness and is sometimes known as "bad testosterone". Ever noticed that totally bald dudes tend to have rich, full beards, and more body hair? There is a correlation there.

 

[Rainbow Child]

Have we collected enough phenotypes, yet, to make the female equivalent of that dichotomous tree that told you whether you were dealing with a travesti suicida or a goblino de genero, etc?

Well, here's a specimen to add to the fieldbook in the meanwhile:

Spoiler: BEFORE

Spoiler: AFTER

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Have we collected enough phenotypes, yet, to make the female equivalent of that dichotomous tree that told you whether you were dealing with a travesti suicida or a goblino de genero, etc?

Well, here's a specimen to add to the fieldbook in the meanwhile:

Spoiler: BEFORE

View attachment 5300219View attachment 5300220

Spoiler: AFTER

View attachment 5300221View attachment 5300222

La Zoomera con pelo de brócoli

 

[GettrGriftr]

What the fucking shit?!?
How did Testosterone give her a fucking forehead like a Goddamn Klingon?

Heh. You saw a Klingon. I saw professional wrestler and notorious blader "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes.

 

[Anasa Tristis]

Whenever I see these horrific neckbeard pics I can't help but think of Saint Wilgefortis. Pooners are channeling her in some sort of deeply buried, archetypal way.

Wilgefortis (Portuguese: Vilgeforte) is a female folk saint whose legend arose in the 14th century,[4] and whose distinguishing feature is a large beard. According to the legend of her life, set in Portugal and Galicia, she was a teenage noblewoman who had been promised in marriage by her father to a Moorish king. To thwart the unwanted wedding, she had taken a vow of virginity, and prayed that she would be made repulsive. In answer to her prayers she sprouted a beard, which ended the engagement. In anger, Wilgefortis's father had her crucified.

https://archive.ph/YbpWy#selection-1405.0-1441.2

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

"Caelum" as well, it's always badly Anglicised Gaelic names. The actual name is Calum or Caluim. I suppose there were already too many Aidens. You'd think the micks would have suffered enough by now, but then Brit troons come and steal their names, like some sort of retarded dyslexic trickster faerie.

The Second British Colonization.

 

[Inside your walls]

I made a lil thing for this thread for fun. It took 2 days lol.

Originally I wanted to make one of those
gifs that you drag and get a different frame of the gif
that was popular on tumblr few years ago, but
I couldn't find any tutorial showing me how to
do that, instead I got drag queen images (horrifying).

But you can use your own screenshot/snipping tool,
to see what pooner you get out of 11 variations.

I'll post the individual frames in a
separate post.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

How it's going

The forehead skin, the hairline, the beard... this pooner straight-up turned into Amish Kevin Gibes

 

[SpiceyHuman]

I made a lil thing for this thread for fun. It took 2 days lol.

Originally I wanted to make one of those
gifs that you drag and get a different frame of the gif
that was popular on tumblr few years ago, but
I couldn't find any tutorial showing me how to
do that, instead I got drag queen images (horrifying).

But you can use your own screenshot/snipping tool,
to see what pooner you get out of 11 variations.

I'll post the individual frames in a
separate post.

View attachment 5306576

Tag yourself.

Im the Pharaoh Pooner

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

Tag yourself.

Im the Pharaoh Pooner

you got the best one.
since im neo-nazi rich evans i feel i have to go with the hitler dood.

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

Tag yourself.

Im the Pharaoh Pooner

GDI

I GOT THE LAMEST ONE

Edit: .....okay this other one made me feel better.

 

[Accidental Protege]

I got this one and while I don't know what it means, I love its energy and confidence. I'll try and remember this lil' pooner next time I'm having a difficult day.