Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Paper Machete]

Good thing I wasn't drinking, this would have been a spit take.

Found on FB, a backwoods Aiden and her backwoods Alice and their two mildly deformed offspring:

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Being against eugenics was a mistake.

 

[Peaches Demure]

Good thing I wasn't drinking, this would have been a spit take.

Found on FB, a backwoods Aiden and her backwoods Alice and their two mildly deformed offspring:

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The Hills Have Troons, apparently.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

Another young pooner got a pocketknife!

Well if she lurks here I will share some wise manly words my grandpa taught me when I was a bit too young to totally get it:
"Never take out your dick, wallet, or knife unless you are about to use it for its intended purpose, or people will think you're an idiot.".

 

[Sperg Coalition]

Good thing I wasn't drinking, this would have been a spit take.

Found on FB, a backwoods Aiden and her backwoods Alice and their two mildly deformed offspring:

View attachment 6391552

What a nice straight relationship with extra steps! And look at these two beautiful kids, they surely are healthy and don't have any problems whatsoever, no sire!

 

[GluttonousManSlob]

There was a pooner in my friends group. Short, balding, scrawny, weak, vegan, no driver's license, always wore the exact same tacky cargo pants and she's been studying a PhD for the past ten years (still hasn't finished her thesis). After she got her top surgery, I got to witness of horror of her being barely able to move a knife and fork at dinner. What convinced everyone to stop inviting her to things was when she flipped her shit these two times. First was when we were playing some collaborative storytelling card game (it was shit and prone to causing angry disagreements), so she banged her tiny fists on the table and stormed out. The second time, we were out at a Thai restaurant and she did the exact same thing over something stupid. I haven't seen her since then and I don't really want to.

She's not really funny in any way. She's just failed in every conceivable aspect of her life, especially as a man.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

There was a pooner in my friends group. Short, balding, scrawny, weak, vegan, no driver's license, always wore the exact same tacky cargo pants and she's been studying a PhD for the past ten years (still hasn't finished her thesis). After she got her top surgery, I got to witness of horror of her being barely able to move a knife and fork at dinner. What convinced everyone to stop inviting her to things was when she flipped her shit these two times. First was when we were playing some collaborative storytelling card game (it was shit and prone to causing angry disagreements), so she banged her tiny fists on the table and stormed out. The second time, we were out at a Thai restaurant and she did the exact same thing over something stupid. I haven't seen her since then and I don't really want to.

She's not really funny in any way. She's just failed in every conceivable aspect of her life, especially as a man.

You'd think a woman would be able to handle this sort of performative adult socialising. And a man also. She might be a trans-child?

 

[TismFarmer]

@Fapcop @Larry David's Opera Cape
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IDK what the deal is with posting Xitter links. If this isn't correct/proper, mods please fix it.

https://x.com/godblesstoto/status/1825308078423625904?

KiwiGurl and his Pooner partners dox is in this thread. It was still current when I posted it.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

There was a pooner in my friends group. Short, balding, scrawny, weak, vegan,

Give her gender dysphoria by reminding her, at every appropriate opportunity, that women are far more likely to be vegans compared to men.

And there will be many appropriate opportunities because you can do it every time she brings up being a vegan, which I imagine is many times a day.

 

[GluttonousManSlob]

Give her gender dysphoria by reminding her, at every appropriate opportunity, that women are far more likely to be vegans compared to men.

And there will be many appropriate opportunities because you can do it every time she brings up being a vegan, which I imagine is many times a day.

It came up every fucking time we went out to dinner, because the majority of the restaurants we went to had very limited options for vegans and it's something she pointed out every time. The other hilarious thing is by denying herself meat or anything with substantial protein, she was sabotaging her own efforts at passing. Imagine trying to get square shoulders on a diet of lettuce leaves and carrots.

But the point where her veganism became the most annoying was during a short lived D&D campaign. We were being attacked by a pack of wolves and her character refused to do anything at all. Didn't even help the other player characters, just stood still and did literally nothing.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

It came up every fucking time we went out to dinner, because the majority of the restaurants we went to had very limited options for vegans and it's something she pointed out every time. The other hilarious thing is by denying herself meat or anything with substantial protein, she was sabotaging her own efforts at passing. Imagine trying to get square shoulders on a diet of lettuce leaves and carrots.

But the point where her veganism became the most annoying was during a short lived D&D campaign. We were being attacked by a pack of wolves and her character refused to do anything at all. Didn't even help the other player characters, just stood still and did literally nothing.

Good god. Does the woman not know what the 'role-playing' part in 'role-playing game' means? I am in a DnD campaign right now, and I'm playing a Barbarian with a sailor Class. I am neither a Barbarian nor a sailor, and I would hope my character isn't just me with a much higher Dexterity stat.

Already off topic but was this an aspect of her player-character she introduced during character creation, or something the group got lumped with after the fact? "My character is going to be a completely insufferable vegan moron who won't even defend herself from animal attacks?" It's like playing a pacifist Fighter. Or an atheist Cleric.

 

[GluttonousManSlob]

Good god. Does the woman not know what the 'role-playing' part in 'role-playing game' means? I am in a DnD campaign right now, and I'm playing a Barbarian with a sailor Class. I am neither a Barbarian nor a sailor, and I would hope my character isn't just me with a much higher Dexterity stat.

Already off topic but was this an aspect of her player-character she introduced during character creation, or something the group got lumped with after the fact? "My character is going to be a completely insufferable vegan moron who won't even defend herself from animal attacks?" It's like playing a pacifist Fighter. Or an atheist Cleric.

She's never played before, but I think it's telling that her character doesn't differentiate from her in any significant way. Probably that recurring issue with troons and poons where they cannot separate their own identities from fiction and what they create.

As for character creation, all of us just turned up with our character sheets. We did send them in to the DM beforehand, but there was never a session zero to see if our character concepts meshed. She turned up with a druid (because of course her character was a druid). None of us were aware that she would refuse to help us if we were attacked by animals. The way she played her character was fucking annoying too. First thing her character said was 'Why should I stick with any of you?' to which my dwarf cleric replied 'You're welcome to run out into the woods by yourself.'

She had a tendency to see plot hooks where there weren't any too. She'd take something offhandedly mentioned about a single character by the DM and chase it down, ultimately just wasting everyone's time when the real plot hook was for us to go out into the woods and find out what the goblins were up to.

 

[glass_houses]

But did he feel "seen" lol

My dad bought me a special little knife when I graduated to adult cutlery, but was still struggling with using ordinary dinner knives because of my tiny hands. Does that mean that he recognised my inner man when I was a four year old girl?

Honestly, the whole pocketknife thing is bullshit. Many women of my grandmother's generation carried pocket knives as well, it just wasn't genteel to flash them around as women were expected to pretend that they didn't have to do physical labour even when they did, as it was considered embarrassing to the family. And precut fruit wasn't exactly a thing until comparatively recently, either.

 

[Chandelier]

Being almost 5 years on Testosterones, this pooner discovers her uterus atrophies after suffering debilitating cramps. She hadn't known this could happen. Her doctor told her the only solution she knows for it hysterectomy, so she tries to find out if there is any other way to take care of it. So much for informed consent, eh?

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I've noticed this before but I've never seen it discussed in literature - every single woman on testosterone ages rapidly. This woman looks 50. It must affect elasticity or something, because they immediately start getting wrinkles. Four years later and you leap frogged into middle age.

That part caught my ear as stupid, but also the oddly coy "er um gee if you have...YOU KNOW...a PARTNER...tee hee...and like...oxytocin, nudge nudge wink wink."

It wasn't that long ago that every college in the country was having to have the ritual performance of Vagina Monologues where they said VAGINA over and over again and made fun of that level of squeamishness around sex. These trannies are almost back to putting pants on the table legs level of prudishness.

Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues was cancelled around 2018 because troons complained. The infamous pink pussy hats seen at the Women's March were also banned, because - again - troons complained that women were centering their bodies in feminism. These were male troons; pooners focus more on language; they're the ones responsible for "pregnant people" and getting gynos like Birthing Person Jones to move in lockstep with them.

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Not even T can eras that painfully female pear shape. Even the fat highlights those womanly hips, and the knees from that female Q angle.

Lmao at the zipper tit scars being uneven.

 

[Hepativore]

Honestly, the whole pocketknife thing is bullshit. Many women of my grandmother's generation carried pocket knives as well, it just wasn't genteel to flash them around as women were expected to pretend that they didn't have to do physical labour even when they did, as it was considered embarrassing to the family. And precut fruit wasn't exactly a thing until comparatively recently, either.

Where the F do these chicks get their ideas of “boyhood”. Sure, my son was hella excited when I got him a little pocketknife. But he was like 7. And this chick is how old exactly?!

I remember when I was in grade school, many children had pocketknives, both boys and girls, as they were useful tools for getting the peels off of thin-peeled oranges if you did not have much in the way of fingernails or opening plastic-wrapped school supplies.

However, this changed when I started high school, as many schools started enacting "zero-tolerance" policies in the wake of the school-shootings that had started happening in the '90s and considered pocket knives as being weapons rather than tools. It was ridiculous, as you were allowed to have compasses and scissors, and you could easily shank somebody with one of those if you wanted to.

I think that most schools would probably confiscate pocket knives and send your kid home now so fewer kids in general have them anymore.

 

[Fapcop]

Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues was cancelled around 2018 because troons complained. The infamous pink pussy hats seen at the Women's March were also banned, because

Probably the only positive effect troons have ever had.

The whole “This is my vagina! Hear it roar!” Shit was so cringe.

(Fuck, can you imagine the laughter if a man had made a play called “Conversations with my dick”, or if men’s rights activists had made a march where everyone showed up wearing a dick and ball hat? They’d be rightly mocked. But because it’s women, and middle class women and academics, all the usual suspects held their fire.)

Unfortunately, a whole generation of feminists had been spent their life in academia, in their own little cocoon from the 1970ies, and believed that going out into the forest with a bunch of fellow lesbians and looking at their vaginas around a fire was some kind of revolutionary act that would bring out a higher, feminist consciousness.

 

[glass_houses]

(Fuck, can you imagine the laughter if a man had made a play called “Conversations with my dick”, or if men’s rights activists had made a march where everyone showed up wearing a dick and ball hat? They’d be rightly mocked. But because it’s women, and middle class women and academics, all the usual suspects held their fire.)

They did. It was called Puppetry of the Penis.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

Probably the only positive effect troons have ever had.

The whole “This is my vagina! Hear it roar!” Shit was so cringe.

However cringe The Vagina Monologues may have been (I haven't seen it), troons have never, ever, ever had a positive effect on anything. I do not consider the censoring of somebody else's art, via capturing entire institutions or threatening revolt, a positive effect.

And that includes art I do not like and would not pay my hard-earned money to see. I'm not even that sad at Hollywood anymore. Hollywood produced plenty enough from the 1930s to the 1990s that I can watch and be happy with, before Wokeness spread as the cancer it is.

 

[Procrastinhater]

They did. It was called Puppetry of the Penis.

They should have gone with "Conversations with my Dick" its a way better title.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

Being almost 5 years on Testosterones, this pooner discovers her uterus atrophies after suffering debilitating cramps. She hadn't known this could happen. Her doctor told her the only solution she knows for it hysterectomy, so she tries to find out if there is any other way to take care of it. So much for informed consent, eh?

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Just stop taking T and everything will revert to normal, pooner.

No side effects, 100% reversible, right?!

 

[Fapcop]

However cringe The Vagina Monologues may have been (I haven't seen it), troons have never, ever, ever had a positive effect on anything. I do not consider the censoring of somebody else's art, via capturing entire institutions or threatening revolt, a positive effect.

And that includes art I do not like and would not pay my hard-earned money to see. I'm not even that sad at Hollywood anymore. Hollywood produced plenty enough from the 1930s to the 1990s that I can watch and be happy with, before Wokeness spread as the cancer it is.

Meh, call me an asshole, but personally I greatly enjoy wacky feminists who spent their entire careers spreading poison like third wave feminism, sexual liberation and “intersectionality” getting out-crazied by their own students.

You spent decades in academia telling everyone who disagreed, especially if they were white men, to shut up and listen to your lived experience? Well sit down and shut up lady. There’s a hun here who’s about to tell you what’s up.

And “she’s” both a tranny and a person of color, so waaay above you on the hierarchy of intersectional oppression that you’ve based your “academic” career around.

So sit your white middle class ass down and confess your sins!