Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Fapcop]

@Fapcop

Granted I don't always speak dude, but wouldn't a man consider it rather humiliating if he went to a sex worker and couldn't get it up?

I would guess so. Though… If he knows he’s dealing with it, I would assume he’d take a viagra or something beforehand.

(What I’m pretty sure is very rare is that he sits and pumps there like a tard. Time is money in these places after all. What they also don’t do is sit and wait patiently for life signs in the penis. If these chicks are expecting an “understanding welcoming experience” they’ll be sorely disappointed.

(If he doesn’t know he’s dealing with it, well… Then it could be humiliating, though I suppose it’s just meh for these women for probably have the same relationship to penises as hotdog vendors have to buns.)

These places are usually ALSO regular massage parlors. As in back massage.
It’s not like they JUST sell handjobs. It’s an extra.

I would assume that once she starts massaging his thighs and stuff, if there’s no physical reaction at all, she’ll just assume he’s just there for a massage and skip asking if the guy wants a happy ending.

I’d imagine this is exactly what will happen to our lil’ dood who will likely be too embarrassed to ask about it herself, and just blush and waddle out, while cursing her lack of erection and make up some story to herself that the “chemistry wasn’t right”.

"Seen everything form micro to huge to double phallus"

Bitch what?
Are they talking about their weird clit under their rotdog? Considering she specifically said they may have seen phallo seperate to this, it sounds like she thinks there really are some normal men going around with two fucking dicks.
I wonder if that post will inspire some to go with their T dicks only.
(Fucking creeps, btw. So much for solidarity lasses)
I hope a pooner struts in with her roid clit and gets battered and chased out. "we no resbian, you go now!"

These chicks don’t understand the flip side of: “They’ve seen ALL the dicks!”

If some Thai chick has seen thousands of dicks in her massage career, she’ll be very well aware of the fact that what she’s dealing with ISNT a dick, but a cold, floppy piece of grotesquely sized arm skin that doesn’t feel like a penis, move like a penis or react like a penis.

And will hopefully let her know.

 

[AngryAboutInternets]

Granted I don't always speak dude, but wouldn't a man consider it rather humiliating if he went to a sex worker and couldn't get it up?

Obviously sort of jumping in here, but I do think it would depend on the context because it's not always that simple.

If the reason that he can't get it up is because he has ED but wants to perform, then it would almost certainly be embarrassing, but there are a number of reasons that a guy might have issues and not all of them would have the same reaction. For one, unless you're quite young it can be hard to gain/maintain arousal if you just find the person abjectly unattractive in some way. In that case it's more shameful than anything, specifically it would make a man ashamed with himself for his decisions ("Oh my god I was about to fuck that?"). Also if the "vibe" is off, like the man suspects that something else is going on or there's just a real distraction he might also have issues ("Is this bitch planning to rob me?"/"I can't concentrate on fucking when there's someone screaming outside and ambulance sirens going off"). In the latter case it wouldn't be embarrassing so much as annoying or enraging depending on the severity, especially considering that the man paid to get sex and can't take advantage of it.

Point is though, no man is going to take "can't get my dick hard" as some kind of positive experience. At best it would be a "good thing I couldn't get it up because she was planning to steal my wallet/had AIDS/etc." in the case of there being some suspicious shit going on. As usual, pooners are at least as retarded as their male counterparts, if not a little bit above that line.

If some Thai chick has seen thousands of dicks in her massage career, she’ll be very well aware of the fact that what she’s dealing with ISNT a dick, but a cold, floppy piece of grotesquely sized arm skin that doesn’t feel like a penis, move like a penis or react like a penis.

This was my immediate thought, holy shit don't traumatize that poor woman with your rotdog what the fuck.

 

[HeyRosalina]

"Seen everything form micro to huge to double phallus"

Bitch what?
Are they talking about their weird clit under their rotdog? Considering she specifically said they may have seen phallo seperate to this, it sounds like she thinks there really are some normal men going around with two fucking dicks.
I wonder if that post will inspire some to go with their T dicks only.
(Fucking creeps, btw. So much for solidarity lasses)
I hope a pooner struts in with her roid clit and gets battered and chased out. "we no resbian, you go now!"

They've been watching too much furry porn. You don't want to know.

 

[Uzumaki]

Beware

OH GOD you warned me and I still clicked it I have no one to blame but myself.

 

[Aunt Carol]

"Seen everything form micro to huge to double phallus"

I think the pooner was channeling the kind of dumbass motivational speaker who says "everybody, whether they're black, white or green."

She made it conditional with "for all you know," because this pooner is not a penis expert or a massage parlor expert. She's just having fun making things up on Reddit!

 

[WhiteNiggasGardens]

Found this exquisite pooner in hellish depths of reddit. Beware the spoiler though, it's there for a reason.

Spoiler

View attachment 7189381View attachment 7189380

What is up with pooners always flashing their nudes everywhere? Even the ones that look like this legitimately think they're attractive, they hype each other up, and a lot of them actually expect other people to pay for their gross nudes. "Sex workers" lol. More like "nasty, entitled flashers who e-beg".

 

[The Noticer]

What is up with pooners always flashing their nudes everywhere? Even the ones that look like this legitimately think they're attractive, they hype each other up, and a lot of them actually expect other people to pay for their gross nudes. "Sex workers" lol. More like "nasty, entitled flashers who e-beg".

If they're not trying to sell nudes, they always seem to be running around topless, like every day is Mardi gras.

 

[Surfin Terf]

I think the pooner was channeling the kind of dumbass motivational speaker who says "everybody, whether they're black, white or green."

She made it conditional with "for all you know," because this pooner is not a penis expert or a massage parlor expert. She's just having fun making things up on Reddit!

I think she's just a terminal redditor who remembered the double penis guy from Reddit, but somehow never received the memo that he was faking it.

 

[Coo Coo Bird]

Yeah but do you see equal stuff to a woman getting her arms and legs amputated and put on a giant dildo stand or midget fisting? From my observations guys go way further on this than ladies.

Then again maybe this stupid to argue because extreme violence porn isn't mainstream on either gender to get off on. Most men and women find it absolutely disgusting and are turned off by it. It's just for few sick fucks and they go hard on this.

Did you forget that pooner who had her leg cut off because she had an amputee fetish?

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

A pooner asks the poonhive aka r/phallo how her fellow doods would navigate going to a massage parlor for a "rub and tug". I kid you not:

View attachment 7198581

What the hell does she expect to get out of it? She'll be asking a sex-trafficked Thai or Vietnamese immigrant woman who likely speaks poor English and is used to fending off creepy men who either don't want to pay for what they want or want something that she doesn't offer (like condomless sex) to tug on a piece of arm or leg flesh for... what purpose, exactly? Actually, if the masseuse isn't careful enough with the 'dog, she might actually pull it off the pooner's mons. This should be a scene in a raunchy comedy. Please make it happen!

The comments are, as you would expect, both hilarious and infuriating:

View attachment 7198623

Funny how they seem to believe the sex workers are all idiots.

https://www.reddit.com/r/phallo/comments/1jr0w97/rub_n_tug/

No, Aydin. Nobody believes that your rotdog is just a "penis that comes without a boner", whatever the hell they believe that means.

Just when I think I've seen it all when it comes to pooners, I realize that I really haven't.

 

[Fapcop]

Did you forget that pooner who had her leg cut off because she had an amputee fetish?

That was a pretty good looking chick, ngl.

Can’t imagine the kind of mental illness that would make someone cut off their legs and breasts because… Reasons.

It’s weird because a top surgery usually makes normies switch to their “Well, whatever makes you happy!” Script, while yeeting a leg is immediate: “Put this person in a mental asylum!” Territory. But mobility issues aside, we really talking about the same kind of totally unnecessary, batshit crazy surgery.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Can’t imagine the kind of mental illness that would make someone cut off their legs and breasts because… Reasons.

I remembered her (unfortunately) as soon as I saw that post and the weirdest thing about her is that she is so clearly first and foremost a pervert, and the mental issues are secondary to the perversion. Which is the usual pattern for AGPs, but less common for pooners. Even fujos, who don't get me wrong are enormous perves, it's clear that there were some squirrels nibbling on the wiring upstairs long before the porn addiction started. This one "passes" in the worst way- she has male pattern pervert brain.

 

[!Felid_Transmuter666!?]

I was cleaning up my kids' markers, and it got out of hand. This is loosely based off a poon I know.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

Did you forget that pooner who had her leg cut off because she had an amputee fetish?

I'm actually surprised I've never heard of this woman. I say that because of the obvious, but also because Osomatsu-san had a pretty insane tumblr fanbase where even the anime itself parodied it. I had sort of memory holed it until looking at her art.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

Last, from down under, we have very doodly ocker-poon "Fern" (interests: astrology and thrifting):

I feel personally attacked that this woman came up with something as witty as anticistamines.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Just when I think I've seen it all when it comes to pooners, I realize that I really haven't.

I remember at least one pooner in I think the SRS thread that was looking forward to fucking prostitutes “for the experience” via the Coban tape method after phallo. I don’t know how common a mindset this is among pooners, but some of their definitions of masculinity include becoming Johns for whatever reason.

Did you forget that pooner who had her leg cut off because she had an amputee fetish?

I'm actually surprised I've never heard of this woman. I say that because of the obvious, but also because Osomatsu-san had a pretty insane tumblr fanbase where even the anime itself parodied it. I had sort of memory holed it until looking at her art.

That’s a throwback. I forgot about Homie, but I casually follow Todokaras’s thread back when the Tumblr subforum existed. Pip was proof that pooners are just as capable of being as their TIM counterparts long before she admitted to dogfucking.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

View attachment 7197877

An pooner and her girlfriend are having some issues due to Identities and labels

I'm not LGBT nor do I support it, but I don't understand this whole thing. They should just date bisexuals and fellow trannies (probably as a last resort) since aren't these guys just butch lesbians?

This bizarre LARP is fascinating to me, and we see it over and over again with pooner couples. They both must secretly know that neither of them really see Lil Dood as a dude, yet they persist with this nonsense. “Ahaha my girlfriend is bisexual because she normally dates women, but also me, who is a man.” Usually in the most fembrained Reddit post imaginable.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I remember at least one pooner in I think the SRS thread that was looking forward to fucking prostitutes “for the experience” via the Coban tape method after phallo. I don’t know how common a mindset this is among pooners, but some of their definitions of masculinity include becoming Johns for whatever reason.





That’s a throwback. I forgot about Homie, but I casually follow Todokaras’s thread back when the Tumblr subforum existed. Pip was proof that pooners are just as capable of being as their TIM counterparts long before she admitted to dogfucking.

Jesus Christ, as if hookers don’t have enough shit to put up with already. I can see at least one pooner getting a good kicking if she tries that shit with a street hooker.

 

[Syikeblade]

I don’t know how common a mindset this is among pooners, but some of their definitions of masculinity include becoming Johns for whatever reason.

I'm not a man, but I'm guessing they see being a man as a full person who can do whatever they want and being a woman as being a sexual object.

Plus I'm guessing the lesbians ones maybe they see it as an opportunity to fulfill taboo desires with straight women.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm not a man, but I'm guessing they see being a man as a full person who can do whatever they want and being a woman as being a sexual object.

Plus I'm guessing the lesbians ones maybe they see it as an opportunity to fulfill taboo desires with straight women.

Tangential, but man, if Kabi Nagata were ten-fifteen years younger, she'd have pooned out. My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness is her famous book about her trainwreck life and eventually finding a brothel where a professional lady will touch her and say nice things--it's excruciating but at the same time, you can see where if she were the age to be perma-online and had a group of """friends""" coaching her not to be honest in her introspection, she'd have been eaten by the gender cult instead.