The Ralpha Ranch - Ethan Ralph is A Broke Ass Bitch and His Bitch Ass Fans Will NEVER Form a Ranch

John Andrews Stan said:
The fact that this moron can brag about making $250k over the past decade will never stop being hilarious to me. Congratulations, your annual “salary” is half as much as a gas station attendant in NJ but you had to ruin your life for it and didn’t even get health insurance.

Then he shamelessly begs for donos so he can take his mare out for a bucket of oats. What a sterling success story!
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This is on the level of the time the kids in Springfield terrorized the school principal trying to get money or something. They knew his salary was 25,000 and he was 40 years old so that makes him a millionaire.
 
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GayestFurryTrash said:
I want to be in the office of whatever poor banker has this complete retard roll in asking for a loan to buy a ranch with his credit history.
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Meighs is probably shot now too - this is why he is going to rope some sperg into it I bet. What could go wrong...

Ralph don't buy a ranch, that'll own me and all the Alogs and I can't stand that!
 
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I saw this last night and just rolled my eyes, but then it all hit me what's really going on. The pillstreams, the shitty events, the vacations. This is all symptoms of Ralph's midlife crisis.

This all started with Guntamania....actually we need to go back a bit and realize, RALPH HAS NO FUCKING FRIENDS. He used to have loyal online friends like Gator, Rand, Zidan, and Brapmenco, hell, he even had rl friends like Warski. Well, as we all know, Ralph snaked on all of them. We don't know if Ralph had any actual RL friends outside the Sektur TM. The most we ever seen is Dick during events and Sesco coming over to bbq.
Who does Ralph have now? No one cause he's in a fucking 3rd world country. His online friends are faggots like BigTech, Baked, and Beardson, all of them have voiced their hate for Ralph in the past and would snake on Ralph if it meant getting an extra shekel, and I think Ralph knows this.
So, he's got no friends to talk to, what about Pantsu? A good relationship is built on having similar interests so you both can do stuff together. What are Ralph and Meigh's common interests? Sportsball, wrestling, and maker's mark? No. Anime, (NULL'S FAVORITE C-WORD), and manga? No. There's got to be zero communication going on in that household except for yelling and arguing-along with a screaming baby.

So, he's lonely and depressed, then Guntamania rolls around and he has the time of his life getting served court papers with all the other trailer trash and incels that showed up. That's the goal, it's to get some friends to do shit with. Notice with these pillstreams it's him trying to convince these faggots to come down to Mexico and share in the misery with him. And that's that.

Now, on the topic of the ranch. I want him to do it cause it'll be a shitshow, but I know the animals will be abused, which I hate thinking about. I hope to god that that caller is up for dumping the 20k to buy the ranch, cause he's going to be in for a rude awakening having Ralph as a business partner. Raising animals requires A LOT of work. You gotta shovel their shit, make sure they're not overgrazing (and rotate them fields if they are), and keep them healthy. Ralph's crackshack we've been told is full of cat shit. If he can't even clean up cat shit in his own house, he certainly won't want to go outside (And it being the Yucatan, Itz nawt even cold outside) and shovel cow/horse/alpaca/llama/whatever shit in the heat. He's not going to want to shovel shit or move animals and Mr.20k will get a rude awaken when his business partner is fucking useless. All this cause Ralph wants a friend to hang with.
Plus if somethings going to get the cartel's attention, it'll be this stunt.
 
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Cucktry Roads said:
I saw this last night and just rolled my eyes, but then it all hit me what's really going on. The pillstreams, the shitty events, the vacations. This is all symptoms of Ralph's midlife crisis.

This all started with Guntamania....actually we need to go back a bit and realize, RALPH HAS NO FUCKING FRIENDS. He used to have loyal online friends like Gator, Rand, Zidan, and Brapmenco, hell, he even had rl friends like Warski. Well, as we all know, Ralph snaked on all of them. We don't know if Ralph had any actual RL friends outside the Sektur TM. The most we ever seen is Dick during events and Sesco coming over to bbq.
Who does Ralph have now? No one cause he's in a fucking 3rd world country. His online friends are faggots like BigTech, Baked, and Beardson, all of them have voiced their hate for Ralph in the past and would snake on Ralph if it meant getting an extra shekel, and I think Ralph knows this.
So, he's got no friends to talk to, what about Pantsu? A good relationship is built on having similar interests so you both can do stuff together. What are Ralph and Meigh's common interests? Sportsball, wrestling, and maker's mark? No. Anime, (NULL'S FAVORITE C-WORD), and manga? No. There's got to be zero communication going on in that household except for yelling and arguing-along with a screaming baby.

So, he's lonely and depressed, then Guntamania rolls around and he has the time of his life getting served court papers with all the other trailer trash and incels that showed up. That's the goal, it's to get some friends to do shit with. Notice with these pillstreams it's him trying to convince these faggots to come down to Mexico and share in the misery with him. And that's that.

Now, on the topic of the ranch. I want him to do it cause it'll be a shitshow, but I know the animals will be abused, which I hate thinking about. I hope to god that that caller is up for dumping the 20k to buy the ranch, cause he's going to be in for a rude awakening having Ralph as a business partner. Raising animals requires A LOT of work. You gotta shovel their shit, make sure they're not overgrazing (and rotate them fields if they are), and keep them healthy. Ralph's crackshack we've been told is full of cat shit. If he can't even clean up cat shit in his own house, he certainly won't want to go outside (And it being the Yucatan, Itz nawt even cold outside) and shovel cow/horse/alpaca/llama/whatever shit in the heat. He's not going to want to shovel shit or move animals and Mr.20k will get a rude awaken when his business partner is fucking useless. All this cause Ralph wants a friend to hang with.
Plus if somethings going to get the cartel's attention, it'll be this stunt.
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plus we all know ralph is too much of a wimp with a micropenis to run a ranch. broke dick, small dick, he probably eats dicks.
 
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A few things I've noticed that may have not been brought up yet:

1) By purchasing any home in Mexico, Ralph would be creating a doxable address he can be served at, thus negating the point of him running to Mexico..unless he is willing to admit he just let the country because he is poor.

2) The purchase would need to be facilitated by a bank. Due to FATCA, the IRS would be immediately alerted and the likely back taxes he owes could then be recovered from a forced sale.

Ralph will never buy shit in Mexico.
 
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Salvatore Leone said:
Ralph won't buy a ranch in Mexico. The cartel would fuck with him in some way, unless he was to move to the Mormon part of Mexico.
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Uh, not really. Posted yesterday, and it happened in 2019.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-ralpha-ranch.148736/post-14747533

Now of course that particular family were longstanding and well-known assholes and murderers. But apparently the Juarez cartel has been ordered to pay the Lebarons $1.5B for killing those women and children. But lol, by a US judge (and under anti-terrorism laws, the award would be tripled). Unsurprisingly, the cartel declined to respond to a summons or appear in court, but I'm sure the check's in the mail.

www.independent.co.uk

How a fundamentalist leader became known as the ‘Mormon Manson’

A new book investigates the 2019 killings of nine people with ties to the extended LeBaron family, Clémence Michallon reports, and delves into the LeBarons’ complicated history
www.independent.co.uk www.independent.co.uk

So yeah, Ralph should set up a ranch there.
 
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ModelCitizen said:
Another W for the Ralphamale.
He will own land and rise corn with his bare hands like a real rancher, not some shitty bannana peppers on a faggot ass balcony!
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Nope the guy from the clip was successfully bullied by his lack of ranch to quitting all ralph platforms and deleting his accounts, will post clip later from someone else in another thread. But yeah ralph and his fans are bitches and will NEVER own a ranch, he loses forever
 
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REGENDarySumanai said:
I knew about this beforehand. It's also in effect for government officials, but Gunt heeds no warning.
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Locals have been power washing the paint of their concrete and tin homes to avoid attracting criminal attention. Having a painted exterior gives them fear of attracting attention from low level cartel members. It's only a matter of time before gunt wanders out of the relatively safe Merida. In fact some of the most common scams in Cancun where he wanted to go completely plastered in the middle of night, are absolutely scams he would fall for. He fell for the most common of all scams in portugal with the Senegalese charity bracelet, what's he going to do when some attractive Mexican hotty hands him a flyer for a "great strip club with cheap BJs and MDMA". He will walk right into the trap and get stomped by 12 mexicans and lose another purse.
 
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