i wanna buy, like, a compound in mexico ... like, a really nice one ... aaand, i got about, like, forty grand on one right now ... and when you buy property in mexico, you're automatically qualified to be a, um, i think it's permanent citizen, but for sure a temporary res-*burp*- excuse me, resident ... not permanent citizen, but, uh ... permanent resident, but for sure temporary resident.
... and let's just build a fuckin' ... it'll already be there! we don't even have to build it! like, there's all kinds of casas and casiendas, [sic] like ... i'm dead serious about this.
well, you know what ... i already have a real estate agent ... but ... she's a legend, uh, and we can definitely make that happen. and, um, if you buy property in mexico, you already qualify for, uh, temporary residency, so ... uh, you don't have to worry about that at all, all the lawyers will figure that shit out, and it's like ... it's great.
there's beaches everywhere ... there's cancun, there's alcapulco, there's cabo, there's mexico city, um ...
just a nice compound, we can all live ... it's safe, uh, it's mexico ... like, we're already gringos ... like, they don't fuck with gringos down here ... they don't even say gringos, by the way.
oh, this is fucking fantastic! the drunken swine wallowing in his rented concrete sty hasn't the slightest clue!
in mexico, there are two types of land that, even if "purchased", cannot simply be "owned" by americans:
ejido land, which is agricultural land that is owned by the community, and land in the
zona restringida, which is land within 50 kilometers of the coast, or land within 100 kilometers of an international border.
these lands are frequently offered for sale at unbelievable prices by "real estate agents" to ignorant americans, and ethan ralph is the perfect mark. however, trying to purchase
ejido land is the mexican equivilent of trying to purchase land on a native american reservation, and trying to purchase land in the
zona restrinida is like trying to purchase national park or forest land.
all mexican legal documents are in spanish, a language the swine does not understand beyond the word taco. even if he finds an honest real estate agent, he'll still need a notary (who is appointed by the state, and must be an attorney with at least five years of legal experience) to translate the documents. if there's conflict between an english version and a spanish version of any legal document, the spanish version always prevails in court.
in addition, purchasing property in mexico does not automatically grant residency or citizenship. it may allow him to apply for a temporary residency visa, but only if the property is valued above a certain amount (about $200,000 - $400,000, depending on which criteria is used). he cannot use property investment to apply for permanent residency for at least four years, although he can also apply for temporary or permanent residency by documenting that he (as well as his spouse and his dependents) meet the income criteria for at least six months prior to each application. (
source)
also, why am i not surprised that he included mexico city in his list of beaches? lol. fat fucking gringo.
