The Ralpha Ranch - Ethan Ralph is A Broke Ass Bitch and His Bitch Ass Fans Will NEVER Form a Ranch

[Maude Snew]

Can anyone clarify? Just where is Mexicuh. Is it near Mexico?

It's right next to Portugo.

 

[AltisticRight]

19 NAKED BLACK CATBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RALPHA RANCH!
BIG, HARD, THROBBING BLACK COCKS WANTING TO BE SUCKED!
19 NAKED BLACK CATBOYS WANTING 5'1'' BUSSY TO FUCK
CATBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RALPHA RANCH
ON THEIR FEET WANTING TO FUCK AMERIMUTT BUTT!
RALPHA RANCH REALLY ROCKS!

 

[The Skox]

Ralph seems to want his own Jonestown. No content will surely come from this.

On another note, Im starting to struggle telling if his speak patterns are from the cheap Tar Heroin down there or brain damage finally showing itself. Probably both.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

I don't even own a ranch. I would be so owned if he bought a compound and moved a bunch of people down there to live with him. God I hope he doesn't do this, this would be humiliating to not only me, but more importantly Joshua Connor Moon, who does not have any kind of ranch or compound.

Just to clarify, many a-logs, Including Joshua Connor Moon, would be especially owned if Ethan Ralph bought a ranch in Mexico. He DEFINITELY should not do this.

 

[Temperance]

Ralph isn't rich enough to ever own a ranch - he can't even afford a motorcycle!
He'll never be a cool Mexican outlaw who lives in a Killstream Compound with some Cozy bros out on a ranch. It is NEVER going to happen.

 

[AltisticRight]

Yeah, I know we say this a lot but I'm not confident on this one.
Ethan Ralph is too broke, too lazy, and too much of a spastic to actually open up a ranch in Mexico. It is what it is, this is a matter of fact and time will prove me right. This will never ever happen. Ethan Ralph is a broke ass pussy punk wigger bitch.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Even Beartaria has a better chance of coming to fruition than Hogtaria does. Ralph can’t even scrape together the meager amount needed to buy a motorcycle. There’s no way he can afford real estate of any kind.

 

[Takodachi]

This wigger hasnt been able to afford good wives, and you expect him to be able to buy land in Mexico?
Lol
Lmao even.

 

[MeltyTW]

He does not have a sweet motorcycle and I would not have sex with him.

Motorcycle less, huffing and puffing instead
no book deal, writing 100 dollar solo uber eats orders instead
no ranch, killing his dog instead, FEEEEWWWWWDD MOUNTAIN

hes a faggot who would fail and kill all his animals anyway. at least the trannies had a ranch though.

I want to be in the office of whatever poor banker has this complete retard roll in asking for a loan to buy a ranch with his credit history.

Won't ever happen, he put his family's credit on pantsu and Harry, they provide more to his family than he ever can, he's a worthless mooch who can't even get credit. Too much of a pussy to even try.

Yeah, I know we say this a lot but I'm not confident on this one.
Ethan Ralph is too broke, too lazy, and too much of a spastic to actually open up a ranch in Mexico. It is what it is, this is a matter of fact and time will prove me right. This will never ever happen. Ethan Ralph is a broke ass pussy punk wigger bitch.

he actually unironically doesnt have the means jokes aside. im really happy we have one major totally safe unambiguous dubya we can wave infront of his fat face all year until he dies

also this is you, gunt:

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Maybe it’s because I’m not a avid watcher of Ralph, but Jesus Christ does he always sound this fucked up?
I know he had a few pill streams recently but I assume those we’re like… rare. Has every night just been him fucked up and drunk day-dreaming about loosing 250 lbs, owning his own ram ranch and having daddy Jim come on his show and apologizes for being such a mean a-hog?

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Quite frankly I find the idea of a pig owning a farm to be offensive

 

[Elmo]

Maybe it’s because I’m not a avid watcher of Ralph, but Jesus Christ does he always sound this fucked up?
I know he had a few pill streams recently but I assume those we’re like… rare. Has every night just been him fucked up and drunk day-dreaming about loosing 250 lbs, owning his own ram ranch and having daddy Jim come on his show and apologizes for being such a mean a-hog?

Yes, but you forgot the non-stop coping about his Memphis micro.

 

[Waffle Stompin' Waffen]

Maybe it’s because I’m not a avid watcher of Ralph, but Jesus Christ does he always sound this fucked up?

No, things have been escalating since Pantsu's dad broke his toys.
I'm sure the OTC availability of his drugs of choice have been a big factor but I suspect it's also the lack of readily available drinking water. Never figured him to be the type to intentionally hydrate himself but even a staggering black out drunk will occasionally wake up and chug from the tap out of instinct.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

I for one would have to take a permanent L and possibly even delete my alog card if Ralph took the ultimate W and made a pig tranch.

That would be the worst day of my alog life, if Ralph pulled that off. I really hope he never does, cause I don’t know how I could recover from such a Ralphawin

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

If his weird little comic book adorned room fella comes through with the promised 20K cash injection they might be able to form a new MMF throuple.

That would totally own Faith and Mr Morris and Mr Vickers and Critikal and Cog and Jim and uh.. why is Matt here?

 

[Olórin of Hype]

19 NAKED BLACK CATBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RALPHA RANCH!
BIG, HARD, THROBBING BLACK COCKS WANTING TO BE SUCKED!
19 NAKED BLACK CATBOYS WANTING 5'1'' BUSSY TO FUCK
CATBOYS IN THE SHOWERS AT RALPHA RANCH
ON THEIR FEET WANTING TO FUCK AMERIMUTT BUTT!
RALPHA RANCH REALLY ROCKS!

This guy gets it.
Ralph's making his own catboy ranch.
I wonder how much of this is Fuentes grooming him.
We all know that NF has been high on his own ego after this Kanye mess.
What's to say that he didn't start grooming Ralph to be his Ghislane Guntswell?

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I’m not surprised that Ralph’s big plan for owning a home amounts to parasocial grifting. Not even saving up the money he grifts like any normal grifter, even that is well beyond “half-millionaire” Ethan Ralph. The plan is to beg people to immediately give him $60k so he can buy a place because he’s poor and can’t afford to keeping renting AirBnBs for the rest of his sad life.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Not even saving up the money he grifts like any normal grifter

The fact that this moron can brag about making $250k over the past decade will never stop being hilarious to me. Congratulations, your annual “salary” is half as much as a gas station attendant in NJ but you had to ruin your life for it and didn’t even get health insurance.

Then he shamelessly begs for donos so he can take his mare out for a bucket of oats. What a sterling success story!

 

[Laburnum]

Andy and Asston are more likely to build a literal Kino Casino in Atlantic City before Ralph gets a Ralpharanch. Hell, Gator is more likely to get a ranch before Ralph does.

Any money he does grift will go straight into bathtub tequila served in a Maker's Mark bottle, he scares way too easily to put together something this big.

 

[SilkyJohnson]

Wait why is he saying "we"?

Does he mean he'll buy a big plot of land and the killstream faithful can migrate and live there?

Perhaps he's realised that to avoid being sacrificed to the corn, he must grow the corn himself.