Inactive The Ralpharing - One ring to gunt them all, value dropping by the minute

[FFinfo]

I'm not going to try to exactly locate a sister ring for one bought 60 years ago at a department store that stopped existing 20 years go, but this is the closest "legitimate jewelry" example of Ralph's ring, from the style, gold content, and coloration.

The sale price for this ring where I found it is $3300. I'd put this as the upper bound for the value of Ralph's ring assuming his diamonds are real, etc etc. Maybe one of the resident jeweler kiwis will be more insightful.
FWIW it's not a bad ring. It might be tacky, but that's not a Walmart special. Besides, I doubt in 1968 Ralph's meemaw was considering "What will my perpetually jobless loser grandson more than half a century from now think about this ring when bragging about how he inherited it?" So as a gift, it's perfectly inoffensive. Ralph will get mad not because the ring is just a typical ring but because he can't take the perceived L of the ring not being on par with some imperial regalia in value.

 

[FundusOHoolihan]

Notice that after all of the silver coins and jokes with Null, Ralph has to show off his gold ring? Might someone be jealous of our favorite silver merchant doggo?

(Likely coincidence, but would be funny if it was true.)

People who own precious metals of any capacity usually keep cards like that close to their chests for obvious reasons. But Ralph is formerly nigger rich, so we gotta hear about his drip, of course.

 

[Luke gama]

What kind of man was Ralph's granddad. Was he some kind of pimp. My granddad service in the army in world war 2 what kind of fucking breeding does ralph have.

Love him throwing his mother under the bus, the fucking disrespect.. oh mother was trash but daddy family where the type of men to wear gold diamond rings in the 50/60s

 

[He Who Points And Laughs]

Only a wigger would be bragging about his grandmother's drip

 

[Mr Clark]

Men's jewellery, specifically wedding bands, look nothing like this.

Simple bands in platinum, gold, silver or other silver metals (titanitum etc) are the go to for up to a few k. Men get simple because they on average, are more likely to work with their hands (dont want to damage the ring too much) and don't care about bling. Band size is relative to the hand.

- This piece of shit looks like something from a $2 store.
- Ralph hasnt worked a day in his life, let alone a day with his hands
- Ralph is a wigger.
- Band size is still too big, even considering Ralph's hoof
- Ralph isnt even married

Everything about this ring is an L and Ralph's ego is at the forefront of the L (like always)

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I have a question. Which is worth more, the gunten ring or the single Chris Chan coin that I own? @MWV tell me you giant faggot. Tell me damn it!

 

[sweetstone]

Ralph has the hands of an obese female walmart cashier.

 

[Aspy]

View attachment 3217746

Are we going to see kiwifarms branded, masonic gunt rings for sale soon?

Do you mean rings that go into a person's gunt?
Rings that look like a miniature gunt is trying to assimilate your fingers?
Or Alternatively, a combination of both?

 

[AltisticRight]

Ralph has the hands of an obese female walmart cashier.

The Walmart cashier has a respectable job.
Ralph, does not. He has no job.
Walmart fat woman > Ralphamale

 

[Fìddlesticks]

FWIW, here’s another ring of the same manufacture, I’m pretty sure:

Ugly ring

Cross posting this post and screen shooting.

Ralph ring


Kiwi finders ring

 

[Lomax]

I would like to know the deep lore behind the ring before it landed into the poop covered pig hooves of Ethan Ralph.

"One Gunt to rule them all,
One Porn Tape to find them,
One Purse to bring them all
and in the Makers Mark bind them."
- J.R.R. Tolkien. The Lard of the Gunt

 

[NynchLiggers]

As if the Gunt's finger would not fall off anyway since he won't care about his likely diabeetus until it causes him physical pain.
If we see him hollerin even more than usual, it will be clear.

 

[bonusmp3]

@Delicious Diversity Here are the other two original 12.5 Megapixel pictures (4K+ UHD+): http://kiwifarms.net/threads/4-15-2022-metokur-in-the-casino.110845/post-11747636 , please attach them to your post as well.

 

[Tiger Jack]

“There are markings. It’s some kind of elvish, I can’t read it.”

”There are few who can. It is the language of ay-logs, which I will not utter here.”

”What does it say?”

”Made in Taiwan.”

 

[Easterling]

The Gunt Lantern

By blackest cock and shartist night
No A-log will escape my sight
Let those who worship josh's might,
beware my power... Gunt lanterns light!

 

[Weeb Slinger]

The worth of the ring will likely be negligible when measured against what it will cost Ralph in terms of jail, the next time he punches someone and either forgets to turn it around on his finger, or keeps it facing outward to leave his mark. (The latter would be in keeping with the brutish sadism of the Gunt).

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Yet again Ralph's ego makes him look like a complete fool.

If Ralph didn't start gloating about how it's a billion dollar ring, noone would begrudge him for appreciating the sentimental value he holds for the ring because it belonged to his grandad.

 

[Slimy Time]

Not really interested in whether it's real or fake, but I am interested in the slight dark shade his fat sausage finger seems to be turning. It comically looks like his finger might be stuck in it.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

Ralph’s PawPaw’s Findagrave memorial. Looks like Gunt cared enough to leave “virtual flowers” for PawPaw

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/23906926/clyde-l.-ralph

Also,
The entry was made by someone named “Sandra”? MAYBE Mama Ralph?

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Ralph’s PawPaw’s Findagrave memorial. Looks like Gunt cared enough to leave “virtual flowers” for PawPaw

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/23906926/clyde-l.-ralph

Also,
The entry was made by someone named “Sandra”? MAYBE Mama Ralph?

Good sleuthing Lorne, followed a few links and there we have it: Ralph's uncle is "Louis Ralph".