The Swifties - A New Age Religious Movement Revolving Around Taylor Swift

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Molly Millions said:
Taylor is watching
Taylor knows
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Taylor knows all and sees all

Just replace the leader with taylor swift and make homer a swiftie:

Then comes the indoctrination. Low protein gruel and mindless taytay devotional chants:
Taylor is good, taylor is great, we surrender our will as of this date

True believes are granted the presence of the divine taylor beans:
Cue the tiktok videos of swifties proudly proclaiming to have found a taylor bean

When harvesting the divine taylor beans, taytay waves dismissively the swifties:
I've covered in the dust of taylor! She favors me!
I am even dustier! Dustier than thou!

and then when it finally comes out that taytay is an ignorant sociopathic shill who runs off with all the swifties money from concerts and album sales:

The non-believers are not of taylor:

Believers show their psychotic devotion on tiktok during the taylor hour:
 
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My cravat doesn't flutter said:
And in 20 years, people will be bitching and moaning about whatever music will be popular then and waxing poetic about real artists like Cardi B and Olivia Rodrigo. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
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The idea that popular music has gotten worse is actually accurate people still listen to ACDC they're over 60 years old at this point people still listen to Mozart it's well over 500 years old do you remember Tears For Fears no one does because it was a terrible band from the 90s

the idea that there's no such thing as objective quality people still like the ink spots at this point it's over 80 years old

Elvis is still popular 80 years old

do you remember any of the terrible bands from the 1960s no you don't because mediocre music does not stand the test of time no one's going to be listening to Justin Bieber in 40 years

no one listens to Britney Spears anymore or the Backstreet Boys
remember any of the other mediocre 2000s pop stars Christina Aguilera no you don't
 
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Sargon's wife's son said:
no one listens to Britney Spears anymore or the Backstreet Boys
remember any of the other mediocre 2000s pop stars Christina Aguilera no you don't
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My dude, just because you don't listen to them doesn't mean no one does. That stuff still gets plenty of airplay. Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys were icons of their time. The big names, the really successful ones, are remembered. Even if it's just a handful of their biggest hits that stay in circulation. Icons are icons whether you like them or not.
 
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My cravat doesn't flutter said:
My dude, just because you don't listen to them doesn't mean no one does. That stuff still gets plenty of airplay. Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys were icons of their time. The big names, the really successful ones, are remembered. Even if it's just a handful of their biggest hits that stay in circulation. Icons are icons whether you like them or not.
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Timberlake been huge and he started in a boy band and went on to have a very successful solo music career.
He was also was in some movies that were not horrible.
Coincidentally, he's also back in the news right now for catching a DWI.
 
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This cult will either end with them drinking the Kool-Aid (Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple cult), go out with a memorable bang (the Branch Davidians in 1993), fly some airplanes into skyscrapers (Al-Queda), suffocate themselves while wearing Nike shoes (Heaven's Gate), launch a chemical terrorist attack on a subway (Aum Shinrikyo), commit bioterrorism (the Rajneesh movement) or (the best case scenario) the cult gets exposed for blackmail and extortion where technically no one dies (Scientology and the Unification Church).

We know how cults usually don't end really well where they either commit mass suicide, commit an act of terrorism, or sometimes go out with a memorable bang and in very rare cases they just extort and blackmail their own members where there is no doomsday prophecy that could result in the end of a cult member's life. I hate to sound morbid but this is lifecycle of cults where the really unhinged cults have a quick rise, gets media attention, and collapse as quickly as they showed up.
 
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Well this was trending.


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scathefire said:
https://www.christianpost.com/news/...sts-service-featuring-taylor-swift-music.html
https://archive.fo/QBnKo

Apparently there's some German church that had a special Taylor Swift mass in order to appeal more to young people. Honestly if they've reduced themselves to doing this, they've already lost.
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Two Sunday services in the historic church featured Swift's tunes, which DW noted were attended by an audience that skewed young and female. A rainbow banner behind the musicians noted that the church welcomes "all sizes, all [colors], all cultures, all sexes, all beliefs, all religions, all ages, all types, all people."
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i would sever my achilles tendon for the opportunity to time travel and take Martin Luther to the Taylor Swift Mass
 
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Am I the only one who understand why Taylor is suddenly so popular and this Swifty shit is all over the place? It gives the impression that she's the latest break out artist, but she's been active for well over a decade. I remember hearing Love Story on the radio non-stop when I was in like second grade. This would be like if zoomers globalized Lil Jon or something lol.

It reminds me of the Among Us craze and how that made the Internet implode. People screeching "Muh MURDER MYSTERY game!!" like... did nobody play Trouble in Terrorist Town back in the day? Social deduction games aren't anything new, you're late to the party. This shit makes me feel like a boomer.
 
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VasonJoorhees said:
Am I the only one who understand why Taylor is suddenly so popular and this Swifty shit is all over the place? It gives the impression that she's the latest break out artist, but she's been active for well over a decade. I remember hearing Love Story on the radio non-stop when I was in like second grade. This would be like if zoomers globalized Lil Jon or something lol.

It reminds me of the Among Us craze and how that made the Internet implode. People screeching "Muh MURDER MYSTERY game!!" like... did nobody play Trouble in Terrorist Town back in the day? Social deduction games aren't anything new, you're late to the party. This shit makes me feel like a boomer.
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I dunno, growth is exponential, more often then not, music subcultures are often pretty obscure until they suddenly aren't, but it would not surprise me if she's been astroturfed to some degree in recent years. She's been on the radio for a good few decades now, but this whole swiftie thing, especially in the form it is today, is much newer to me.
and for what its worth i think its as insufferable as any other music subculture out there.
 
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VasonJoorhees said:
Am I the only one who understand why Taylor is suddenly so popular and this Swifty shit is all over the place? It gives the impression that she's the latest break out artist, but she's been active for well over a decade. I remember hearing Love Story on the radio non-stop when I was in like second grade. This would be like if zoomers globalized Lil Jon or something lol.

It reminds me of the Among Us craze and how that made the Internet implode. People screeching "Muh MURDER MYSTERY game!!" like... did nobody play Trouble in Terrorist Town back in the day? Social deduction games aren't anything new, you're late to the party. This shit makes me feel like a boomer.
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Autistic Gunspergings said:
I dunno, growth is exponential, more often then not, music subcultures are often pretty obscure until they suddenly aren't, but it would not surprise me if she's been astroturfed to some degree in recent years. She's been on the radio for a good few decades now, but this whole swiftie thing, especially in the form it is today, is much newer to me.
and for what its worth i think it’s as insufferable as any other music subculture out there.
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I’d say it’s all time and place. Yes, Taylor Swift has been a megastar since 2006, god knows how many video game console generations ago, but this surge is say is because of the climate when she announced her Eras Tour.

She announced it as we were coming back from the isolation of COVID (2022, so about the time pretty much all the restrictions had been lifted or were distant memories), and in that time, she had released three albums and rereleased another two. And Taylor announced that she’s going to promote all of her music instead of just something from her latest album along with a handful of old hits. Something for everybody!

So now we have people coming together around the world to see their goddess after being denied the opportunity to do so for what felt like millennia. While also sharing trinkets and analyzing everything one woman does like her music has the deepest lore this side of Insane Clown Posse.

That’s how I make sense of the Taylor Swift bonanza.
 
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