The Swifties - A New Age Religious Movement Revolving Around Taylor Swift

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Apparently, Swifties believe that they are being treated like Anne Frank these days
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There are only 2 types of people I could imagine taking a Taylor Swift course in college:
1. Swifties (obviously)
2. people looking for those last few credits they need to graduate

It'd be interesting to see those two groups together. You've got the two extremes - people whose entire life and identity revolves around Taylor Swift and people who couldn't give less of a fuck if they tried.
 
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Who knew that basic white girls were just as susceptible to parasocial relationships as lonely men are. What do they see in Taytay and her music? Does it strike a chord with emotionally immature 20-30 somethings who still aren't over their first breakup?

Swifties are just as retarded as the Elonbros.
 
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PurpleEater said:
idk the Swifties are funny but the absolute chimpouts over her are just as bizarre

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It IS pretty funny to see Boomer Billy in his wraparound shades go 'I AINT LIKE NO MANUFACTURD POP LIKE TAYLERS SWIFT, I LIKE ME SOME REAL CREATIVE MUSIC- LIKE AC/DC!
Random Internet Person said:
If they’re not defending the lyrics, they’re busy trying to analyze all the Easter eggs in the videos, lyrics, social media posts, and even Taylor’s clothing.

Let me know when these guys try to compare her lyrics skills to somebody like Chuck D from Public Enemy.
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I have seen them call her a lyrical genius plus a lot of Swifties are perplexed at how an intellectual titan like her could possibly put up with a knuckledragger like Travis Kelce. If you tell them she's a basic white girl living out her fantasy of dating the higschool sports hero they will flip the fuck out.
 
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BulkForceFive said:
It IS pretty funny to see Boomer Billy in his wraparound shades go 'I AINT LIKE NO MANUFACTURD POP LIKE TAYLERS SWIFT, I LIKE ME SOME REAL CREATIVE MUSIC- LIKE AC/DC!
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And in 20 years, people will be bitching and moaning about whatever music will be popular then and waxing poetic about real artists like Cardi B and Olivia Rodrigo. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
 
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BulkForceFive said:
I have seen them call her a lyrical genius plus a lot of Swifties are perplexed at how an intellectual titan like her could possibly put up with a knuckledragger like Travis Kelce. If you tell them she's a basic white girl living out her fantasy of dating the higschool sports hero they will flip the fuck out.
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Stating the obvious is kryptonite to most rabid fanbases.
 
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My cravat doesn't flutter said:
And in 20 years, people will be bitching and moaning about whatever music will be popular then and waxing poetic about real artists like Cardi B and Olivia Rodrigo. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
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And so is resentment for the Billboard Hot 100 and Top 40 stations.


Dick Cheney Respecter said:
Apparently, Swifties believe that they are being treated like Anne Frank these days
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How and why exactly?

My cravat doesn't flutter said:
There are only 2 types of people I could imagine taking a Taylor Swift course in college:
1. Swifties (obviously)
2. people looking for those last few credits they need to graduate

It'd be interesting to see those two groups together. You've got the two extremes - people whose entire life and identity revolves around Taylor Swift and people who couldn't give less of a fuck if they tried.
Click to expand...

Rome's rightful successor said:
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I’m not going to complain about these classes themselves exostistong because it’d be hypocritical of me since I’d be hyped if it was an artist I like, but what I will say is that it’d be hilarious if these Swifties find out that a lot of Taylor’s success comes from them buying literally anything with her name on it because they treat her like a goddess.



Super Sad Smile said:

Here's an interview of a Harvard breadtuber professor discussing his swifty course.
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Anyone get MtF vibes from this professor?

BulkForceFive said:
I have seen them call her a lyrical genius plus a lot of Swifties are perplexed at how an intellectual titan like her could possibly put up with a knuckledragger like Travis Kelce. If you tell them she's a basic white girl living out her fantasy of dating the higschool sports hero they will flip the fuck out.
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I’m not gonna go out and say that the Kelce brothers are dumb or anything or say that this relationship is manufactured or anything, but I will say that if this sports hero thing is any indication, Jason Kelce (Travis’s brother) seems like the kind of guy Swifties would fucking loathe.





 
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Tech destruction YouTuber (supposed troonphobe) Plainrock124 really pissed of the swifties this time (Link)
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Look at that ratio, also there were some swifties that can take a joke and told him to smash the other albums. But most of them were chimping out.
And he decided to capitalize on this hate and do a livestream reacting to the hate tweets and getting a shit ton of superchats (Link)
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Super Sad Smile said:

Here's an interview of a Harvard breadtuber professor discussing his swifty course.
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Of course its a fucking troon. That guy raises all kinds of red flags. No doubt he'd like to literally skinwalk as taylor if given the chance

Makes kevin allred look sane by comparison

As for swifties themselves, at this point they're mental enough that she could market extra strength laxatives to these people with the tagline that your bowels will empty as swiftly as taytays and they'd eat it right the fuck up and buy it by the case. Doubly so for the ones with eating disorders. Within a week you'd be hearing them brag on tiktok about having the most taylor like shit and a bunch of screeching arguments over it

Would anyone really be surprised to see militant swifties screeching at each other about whether taytay has smooth creamy shits or big taytay sized logs and how they're her biggest most loyal fans because of it?
 
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WonderWino said:
Of course its a fucking troon. That guy raises all kinds of red flags. No doubt he'd like to literally skinwalk as taylor if given the chance

Makes kevin allred look sane by comparison

As for swifties themselves, at this point they're mental enough that she could market extra strength laxatives to these people with the tagline that your bowels will empty as swiftly as taytays and they'd eat it right the fuck up and buy it by the case. Doubly so for the ones with eating disorders. Within a week you'd be hearing them brag on tiktok about having the most taylor like shit and a bunch of screeching arguments over it

Would anyone really be surprised to see militant swifties screeching at each other about whether taytay has smooth creamy shits or big taytay sized logs and how they're her biggest most loyal fans because of it?
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The scariest prospect of all is that if Taylor ever gets pregnant, there will be a whole lot of teenage girls poking holes in condoms, ditching their birth control, and having unprotected sex with any guy who'll have them. Teen moms are bad enough, but lord knows what diseases they'll be passing around.
 
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WonderWino said:
As for swifties themselves, at this point they're mental enough that she could market extra strength laxatives to these people with the tagline that your bowels will empty as swiftly as taytays and they'd eat it right the fuck up and buy it by the case. Doubly so for the ones with eating disorders. Within a week you'd be hearing them brag on tiktok about having the most taylor like shit and a bunch of screeching arguments over it

Would anyone really be surprised to see militant swifties screeching at each other about whether taytay has smooth creamy shits or big taytay sized logs and how they're her biggest most loyal fans because of it?
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I can’t be too mad at Taylor for that. If folks are willing to buy your shit with no care for quality, what’s the issue with straight up fleecing them and giving them the most pandering bullshit you can offer?

She’s been on this thing since at least Folklore and Evermore, and I’m also willing to bet that these same fuckers would be pissed at this blatant exploit of capitalism if it wasn’t don’t be their goddess.
 
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Apologies for not screenshotting a bulk load of content but I found a thread that is a pretty good insight into the 'average' Swiftie: Tattle.life's eternal Taylor Swift thread

I won't make any value judgement on the site, which seems to be a fusion of mumsnet and KF. Many of the Swiftie posts are innocuous, a few even wholesome, but there's so, so much to dig through
-doubleposts where the first one is complaining about her merch and the second one is fretting about when their purchase will arrive in the mail
-outfit coordination. She's not gonna see you, ladies!
-lots of negative psychoanalyzing of Taylor and her relationships by admitted catladies
-lots of negativity about Travis Kelce because he's not some deformed Bongman and TAYLER IS ARE GIRL, BLOODY YANKS
-just a lot of general hype and overthinking by people who turn attending a pop concert into Unternehmen Zitadelle
 
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