Things that I, Joshua "Null" Moon, would like to do but cannot

[oramge cat]

I once heard a super credible rumor that null is terrified of riot cops and would never, ever have the balls to fight one, especially at a pro-choice protest in Washington DC on May 3rd.

 

[Dona Morte]

<looks where thread is placed>
Are you able to SUUU EEEE like a true rapin man?

 

[#KillAllPedos]

@Null you messed up by posting this publicly dude. Just calling it as I see it. You know Ralph reads this board, right? He could probably do your entire bucket list in a week, and he probably would too. And you know he will probably turn it into a big event and use it to fundraise. Just seems like you’re handing him an easy “W” by putting this info out. Can you imagine the insufferable smirk on his fat pig face as he’s skydiving, saying “how you like me now Jawsh? You can’t even afford to skydive!” Makes my blood boil just thinking about it. I fucking hate watching Ralph get victories over us.

 

[NynchLiggers]

Thanks, now I have a mental image of Ralph's Gunt flabbing in the air as if it was a pair of wings freed from the clutches of his ill-fitting shirt while he screams like in the "Gawd's Plan" video

 

[Xenomorph]

Null also said he wants to reenact the scene from The Deer Hunter.

 

[Meckhlorde]

7. Actually losing weight. I feel for you two as I understand how hard it is for Amerimutts to abstain from fast food, hard liquors, and pizza. Big sad Mr. Ralphamale will never be under 250.

 

[Chongqing]

Gliding is the most masculine hobby and dear leader could never do it because no one will ever allow him to.

 

[thismanlies]

>Be Mexican anon
>Look up into sky
>See giant drug smuggling cargo plane flying overhead
>Back cargo bay opens
>See blob riding motorcycle fall out
>Pull out phone
>Begin recording
>See parachute open from back of blob
>Parachute is of normal size
>It's still too small to slow blob's descent
>Hear something in the distance
>"Damn you ayy-lawgs!"
>Blob looks like it's going to make belly flop
>*Booooiiiing*
>Blob flies up into air again
>*Boooiiiing*
>Watch as blob tumbles end over end
>Blob is coming closer
>Blob lands in nearby zoo
>Climb fence into zoo
>Run to alligator pen
>Peer over fence
>See exceptionally rotund American wearing Evil Knievel suit
>He's sitting on alligator
>It's dead
>Zoo keeper runs into alligator pen
>He points and laughs
>"Tu es gordo!"
>*punch*
>American sees you recording
>Slowly saunters over
>Stand petrified in fear as beady-eyed pig monster gets closer
>Watch his gunt sway as he walks
>American takes deep breath
>Begins to holler
>"YOU SEE THAT JAWSH MOON?! YOU WISH YOU COULD BE LIKE ME! NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, JAWSH, YOU AND YOUR BROKE DICK FARMS FAGGOTS CAN NEVER BE LIKE ME! I'M THE BADDEST NIGGA ON THIS EARTH! YOU HEAR ME, BITCH?! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME TO TAKE MY CROWN!"

 

[WutangLee]

I've had similar dreams of practicing the art of catching bullets with my hands. I hope no one shows me up by doing it themselves. I wouldn't be able to live with the shame

 

[Molag Bal]

There is no way Ethan Ralph can afford to hire a plane and jump out of it, he is much too poor and his legs are too thin and frail and would snap upon impact. He is also super bitchmade. Ralph could also never afford a motorcycle and he is probably too fat to ride one.

There's also no way he can keep an alligator to wrestle in his back yard. Those take a lot of guts and special training to handle. They're only to be handled by real professionals that are physically fit unlike the breathless, faint-of-heart slob he is.

 

[Shidoen]

@Null bro just get a dirt bike, it ain’t as powerful but it’s more terrain inclusive.

 

[Michael Janke]

if ralph livestreams skydiving, that will unironically be the most badass thing he did.

 

[Marz]

Preparing myself mentally to be exiled/laughed outta here, but am I the only one who thinks Null is attractive? At least MATI Null.

 

[Famke Slamssen]

I've always liked Null ever since I first heard of him on his early appearance on The Dick Show, but one thing that me and Dick agreed on in DMs was that he was sort of a bitch. Dick went so far to say that just from hearing the self-conscious timbre of his voice that he was exactly the kind of pathetic queer you hear about that lets the government tell him what he can and can't say about people, even those who have slighted him. He also posited to me that Null might in fact be so buck broken that he may even allow the courts, with just a few pieces of paper, come between him and his beloved children and allow them to be raised by a bunch of liars. I disagreed with him at the time (and thought he was being really weird and specific), but he went on to say that as much as he liked having Null on the show, with behavior like that it would truly be only a matter of time before he would have to cut ties and start making fun of Null all over the internet. Thankfully for Null he snaked on Dick before Dick ever had the chance to put him on blast publicly like he said he inevitably would have, but at the end of the day he still lives under the governments boot exactly like Dick said he does, and after reflecting on it I have to agree that he was right to judge people who live that way.

 

[The Sh]

I bet Josh could never impregnate a woman as old as Corrine, he lacks the ALPHA SEED to fight through the near menopausal uterus.

 

[Long Time Caller]

I bet Josh could never impregnate a woman as old as Corrine, he lacks the ALPHA SEED to fight through the near menopausal uterus.

This cannot go unanswered. Corrine was menopausal when she voted for Reagan the first time.

 

[Daily Affirmation]

The pedophile Joshua Connor Moon is way too cowardly to ever become a bug chasing leather daddy. How can a man without a father there to teach him the ins and outs of manhood ever hope to be a leather daddy, much less a champion bugchaser?

 

[MadStan]

I think its funny Josh decided to share intimate details with us and he gets prodded for it - I mean given that he has got enough info to probably dox all of us to hell and back, I think it's very metrosexual of him to share.

 

[Grub]

Jumping out of planes is easy. Real alpha chads base jump in a wing suit.

 

[Sea Hag Henderson]

I see Josh has conveniently "forgotten" all the times he would talk about much he wanted to be a skater and post rad skating vids online. WELL I HAVEN'T, COWARD!