TGWTG Tony Goldmark / "Some Jerk with A Camera" - Some Jerk with a Trust Fund

I always thought Tony would make decent lolcow material, like most of the TGWTG/CA mongos. I had considered making a thread about him a couple times, but couldn't really be assed to dig up info on him. He's got that smug, sanctimonious, self-important aura that so many CA twats seem to possess. You just know he thinks he's the smartest motherfucker around and that no one truly appreciates his genius.

Does anyone know if he's still living with mommy and/or daddy, or is he not a total manchild and has his own place or a place with roommates? I always wonder what these angry critic mongos will do when the Patreon cow dries up and they have to eventually get real jobs to support themselves.
 
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Robot Holocaust said:
Holy shit, this thread sure got popular overnight.

Also, another interesting thing to note is the record company he's apparently signed up with. Don't Quit Your Day Job Records, has only two other perfomers signed with them; Big Lou The Accordion Princess and The Wrockers.
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It was his mother's label. Tony also recorded with The Wrockers. The Wrockers were a bunch of writers who played music (the name is 'writer' and 'rocker' combined). The performers included Stephen King, Dave Barry, Norman Mailer, Matt Groening and Maya Angelou.
 
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Ride said:
It was his mother's label. Tony also recorded with The Wrockers. The Wrockers were a bunch of writers who played music (the name is 'writer' and 'rocker' combined). The performers included Stephen King, Dave Barry, Norman Mailer, Matt Groening and Maya Angelou.
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And now I know why this guy can afford going to amusement parks so often.
 
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The Dude said:
Does anyone know if he's still living with mommy and/or daddy, or is he not a total manchild and has his own place or a place with roommates? I always wonder what these angry critic mongos will do when the Patreon cow dries up and they have to eventually get real jobs to support themselves.
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I always assumed Tony lived on his own, but had his mom foot the bill. Because dumbass that he is, he doesn't look pathetic enough to shit himself and live in the basement.

Then again, I could be wrong.
 
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The Dude said:
Does anyone know if he's still living with mommy and/or daddy, or is he not a total manchild and has his own place or a place with roommates? I always wonder what these angry critic mongos will do when the Patreon cow dries up and they have to eventually get real jobs to support themselves.
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I don't know what his current situation is, but he was married at some point and mentioned being divorced. If you google him, there's a blurb from a People magazine article about his wedding (I guess the article is about atypical weddings). His was a costume wedding. As in everyone dressed up. He was a Harry Potter character or some shit.
I'm on mobile and it's a pain in the ass to link but the info is out there.

This was like ten years ago and he was still pretty young. Tony seems like the kind of guy who came from a slightly over-privileged background in which being "quirky" and "different" is encouraged above all else.
 
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pickleniggo said:
I don't know what his current situation is, but he was married at some point and mentioned being divorced. If you google him, there's a blurb from a People magazine article about his wedding (I guess the article is about atypical weddings). His was a costume wedding. As in everyone dressed up. He was a Harry Potter character or some shit.
I'm on mobile and it's a pain in the ass to link but the info is out there.

This was like ten years ago and he was still pretty young. Tony seems like the kind of guy who came from a slightly over-privileged background in which being "quirky" and "different" is encouraged above all else.
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Merciful Lord, that's really pathetic. I'll bet he's so insufferably self-absorbed that his wife pulled chocks and bugged out while she was still young.
 
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The Dude said:
Merciful Lord, that's really pathetic. I'll bet he's so insufferably self-absorbed that his wife pulled chocks and bugged out while she was still young.
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She married him for the money. This guy is an insufferable cunt with a voice that's possibly more annoying then Linkara's.

I say good for his ex-wife to gtfo and get that money.
 
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BrunoMattei said:
She married him for the money. This guy is an insufferable cunt with a voice that's possibly more annoying then Linkara's.

I say good for his ex-wife to gtfo and get that money.
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Obviously she didn't marry him for his rugged handsome looks or brilliant personality and wit.

Doubtful Goldymarks has been in many romantic relationships since his wife ditched him. Or had sex for that matter. That's even if his libido is still intact. Tubby motherfucker looks like he gets winded just watching porn.
 
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BrunoMattei said:
He probably gets a nice allowance each month from his mommy and daddy.
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His mother died in 2012. I think his father is a musician and his step-dad is an author.

pickleniggo said:
I don't know what his current situation is, but he was married at some point and mentioned being divorced. If you google him, there's a blurb from a People magazine article about his wedding (I guess the article is about atypical weddings). His was a costume wedding. As in everyone dressed up. He was a Harry Potter character or some shit.
I'm on mobile and it's a pain in the ass to link but the info is out there.

This was like ten years ago and he was still pretty young. Tony seems like the kind of guy who came from a slightly over-privileged background in which being "quirky" and "different" is encouraged above all else.
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Ex-wife's name is Marissa Jaras. They were married in January of 2007. I actually don't think she married him for the money.

This is the article you mentioned:
http://people.com/archive/they-did-it-their-way/ (http://archive.is/ef7fm)

Also mentioned in the San Francisco Chronicle.
http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/garchik/article/LEAH-GARCHIK-2585764.php (http://archive.is/dOUnn)

Here is a picture of their wedding:

tg1.JPG

More can be found here:
http://www.bcvic.net/tonyandmarissa/d8/Thumbnails.html (http://archive.is/9MJ8e)
 
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Robot Holocaust said:
Jesus christ. That ranks up with Chris's birthday photos as one of the saddest and yet creepiest pictures I've seen. The weird hand gestures, the Freddy Kruger bust, the American flag in the corner...it's just so bizarre.
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It's probably a courtroom or some dingy civil servant's office. Note, there's a fringe on that flag, so the wedding is only valid at sea under admiralty law.
 
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Ride said:
His mother died in 2012. I think his father is a musician and his step-dad is an author.



Ex-wife's name is Marissa Jaras. They were married in January of 2007. I actually don't think she married him for the money.

This is the article you mentioned:
http://people.com/archive/they-did-it-their-way/ (http://archive.is/ef7fm)

Also mentioned in the San Francisco Chronicle.
http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/garchik/article/LEAH-GARCHIK-2585764.php (http://archive.is/dOUnn)

Here is a picture of their wedding:

View attachment 191746
More can be found here:
http://www.bcvic.net/tonyandmarissa/d8/Thumbnails.html (http://archive.is/9MJ8e)
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Oh gross it looks like an archived photograph from an FBI investigation into a cult.
 
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Costume weddings are lame 100% of the time but goddamn could he have not stuck with a single theme? If you're going to get married in Harry Potter robes, don't plaster Freddy Kruger and hot rod flame fringe on the walls. Also note his wife is holding Voldemort's wand in her hand and Lucius Malfoy's snake cane. I guess she just wanted to show how much she loves the Dark Lord and Deatheaters. Seeing how insane Tony is I find it funny his wife basically cosplayed as a magic Nazi at their wedding.
And lol at Tony being a Gryffindor.
 
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