Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

[Gay Sex Enjoyer]

SUFFA FRENCHIES

 

[Hermiöne Granger]

Ubisoft releases delayed earnings report, says everything is fine

Tencent isn't buying Ubisoft, Ubisoft isn't collapsing, and Assassin's Creed is doing all the heavy lifting

A brief earnings report delay and a temporary trading halt led analysts to fear the worst for Ubisoft. The cause of the delay turned out to be minor, and the company ultimately posted positive results for the past two quarters.

 

[Kane Lives]

Ubisoft releases delayed earnings report, says everything is fine

Tencent isn't buying Ubisoft, Ubisoft isn't collapsing, and Assassin's Creed is doing all the heavy lifting

What the fuck is this metric?

While Ubisoft no longer reports exact sales figures, it stated that Shadows "overperformed," with 211 million session days – 35 percent above the franchise's average over the last two years.

Does anyone actually believe that Assassin Japan "We Wuz Kang" edition actually sold?

 

[Questions are a Burden]

"Session days" lol.

Any metric but "copies sold". I wonder why.

 

[I Know 孤独のせい]

Everyone understands that the game underperformed. Cant believe there are people who buy this " X amout of players" or " session days" or whatever magical nonsense number they can bring up.

Also love how is has become impossible to get accurate sales date on a lot of games nowadays.

 

[That Chris Guy]

Everyone understands that the game underperformed. Cant believe there are people who buy this " X amout of players" or " session days" or whatever magical nonsense number they can bring up.

Also love how is has become impossible to get accurate sales date on a lot of games nowadays.

"Session days" sounds like an absolutely bullshit metric. I've probably logged into Battlefield 6 about a hundred times now - guess that makes for 100 "session days" right there.

Make up a new metric to make your dwindling numbers sound big. It's baffling that they can get investors with this kind of Hollywood accounting.

 

[p1138]

What the fuck is this metric?
Does anyone actually believe that Assassin Japan "We Wuz Kang" edition actually sold?

That metric is great when you remember that they're claiming AC Shadows only averaged 35% more play time than the 2 years prior when the last major AC game was Valhalla, 5 fucking years ago.

 

[Miller]

Also love how is has become impossible to get accurate sales date on a lot of games nowadays.

Especially when you have companies like Circana gaslighting people on social media as they keep the actual numbers behind a paywall.

 

[30+GameOvers]

So the bajillion million copies that were supposedly sold were a bunch of lies, color me surprised. Actually, I didn't believe that for a second, and frankly you have to be a retard if you did, same with other shitty games that boast millions of copies sold like KCD2 or Starfield when they're forgotten about a week later. Where are all those players?

 

[p1138]

So the bajillion million copies that were supposedly sold were a bunch of lies, color me surprised. Actually, I didn't believe that for a second, and frankly you have to be a retard if you did, same with other shitty games that boast millions of copies sold like KCD2 or Starfield when they're forgotten about a week later. Where are all those players?

Well that's the thing, they never boasted about copies sold, it was always about "number of players" which is of course meaningless when multiple accounts in a household could be logged in on a console to play the same game, or the game is part of a subscription service like xbox gamepass so people could play it for 20 minutes and just delete it but that still counts for them.

 

[30+GameOvers]

Well that's the thing, they never boasted about copies sold, it was always about "number of players" which is of course meaningless when multiple accounts in a household could be logged in on a console to play the same game, or the game is part of a subscription service like xbox gamepass so people could play it for 20 minutes and just delete it but that still counts for them.

I'm pretty sure I saw "copies sold" specifically, or something very similar in the case of Shadows. Ubisoft too dumb to properly lie and gaslight like their competitors, big shock I know.

 

[p1138]

I'm pretty sure I saw "copies sold" specifically, or something very similar in the case of Shadows. Ubisoft too dumb to properly lie and gaslight like their competitors, big shock I know.

KCD2 might have tried bragging about copies sold, but ACS was definitely player numbers along with starfield. They might have claimed to have sold a large amount of copies, but definitely never specified since all of the analysts were putting it at 1-1.5 million which is abysmal considering the budget of a game like ACS(which was confirmed to be over 100 million euros, but never specified what the actual budget was either, it's been estimated to be closer to 300 million). Even if the 1.5 million copies were true, and it had a hundred million dollar budget, assuming every copy sold at full MSRP(lol, it went on discount within a few weeks) it still only would have barely broken even.

Even back in the AC thread, during their FY 2026 Q1 report you can see they still referred to player count, rather than sales while claiming it "delivered on its expectations" which could fucking mean anything considering the controversy surrounding the game during the year prior to its launch. They could have expected it to do shit, they could have expected 5 million copies but were satisfied with "unique players", etc.

Post in thread 'Assassin's Creed thread'

Aug 9, 2025

I have not seen it covered yet, despite the cope being available for nearly 3 weeks. I am looking at you morally outraged slop tubers who only cover topics when they are hot and they can copy the content and opinions from other people, but never do any actual investigative work. Maybe try sticking with a topic and reporting on it for more than 5 seconds.

UbiSoft published their sales numbers for the first quarter, which dropped compared to last year. What a surprise.
Despite calling it a "sales" report, they do not actually tell us how many copies of AC:NiggerInJapan they sold, and...

• Gobermental Supervisor

It's the same reason they gave that stupid 35% more AC playtime than during the prior 2 years... which like I said doesn't account for the fact that the last big AC game was 5 years ago meaning that Valhalla was already 3 and 4 years old for the period they're counting. And Mirage was a low budget thing they barely marketed to act as a fucking stop-gap between Valhalla and Shadows.

 

[East_Clintwood]

I don't understand how you fuck up something as simple as "give item to players". I especially don't understand how you fuck it up this time, after shitting the bed with the previous campaign.

 

[Jace on ice]

Wasn't Shadows a Gamepass game? I can't imagine too many people actually paid $70 to play it.

 

[30+GameOvers]

View attachment 8214673View attachment 8214673
I don't understand how you fuck up something as simple as "give item to players". I especially don't understand how you fuck it up this time, after shitting the bed with the previous campaign.

You must be new, from an outsider's perspective it seems that half the problems with the game are related to loot somehow, be it balance wise, them breaking, not being handed to players ect.
What I am more interested in is how does this game have a playerbase at this point. Division just doesn't seem like the kind of game to have enough meat on the bone to keep one invested for years at a time.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Wasn't Shadows a Gamepass game? I can't imagine too many people actually paid $70 to play it.

not gamepass, but if you paid for the higher tier of the ubisoft thing, it gives you premium editions and such day one of release so i bet that was a factor
why buy all the ubisoft games when you can just pay a subscription to play it instead? not even having to keep using the service. just play through the game within the month and you can cancel your service. thats how i beat watch dogs legion before it got cracked

 

[Hermiöne Granger]

Another day another fuck up, Prince of Persia Sands of Time alleged leaked image vs original. Farah is now a girl-boss.

"One of the standout pieces is a character slide for Princess Farah. In this version she is described as 19, cold-hearted, graceful, strong willed, the eldest child of the Maharajah and an agile, trained archer. The Vizier is listed as her former tutor, which helps set up their shared history. Her personality is framed as honest and driven, someone who has spent most of her life preparing to become Queen and prove she is ready for that role."

thegamepost.com


Ubisoft learns nothing. Makes Farah into a “we don’t need no man” girl-boss. They are still thinking this will somehow reach a wider modern audience.



Another good memory ruined by modern-audience Ubisoft BS

 

[East_Clintwood]

You must be new

I'm really not:

What I am more interested in is how does this game have a playerbase at this point. Division just doesn't seem like the kind of game to have enough meat on the bone to keep one invested for years at a time.

I think what helps it is there's just not a lot of games out there that play the same way. I don't play anywhere near as much as I used to (today I basically only logged on to do some weeklies. and to collect the new item), but sometimes I'll log on when I have a spare 20 minutes and just blast through a mission or some open world events. A lot of people still play if they're chasing specific items for builds, or like right now they have that stupid Stretch Goals thing that has a (miniscule) chance to drop desirable items like the raid exotics.

 

[That Chris Guy]

Another day another fuck up, Prince of Persia Sands of Time alleged leaked image vs original. Farah is now a girl-boss.


thegamepost.com
View attachment 8215034View attachment 8215035

Ubisoft learns nothing. Makes Farah into a “we don’t need no man” girl-boss. They are still thinking this will somehow reach a wider modern audience.

View attachment 8215044

Another good memory ruined by modern-audience Ubisoft BS

View attachment 8215052View attachment 8215053

Reading them listing off Farah's traits feels like perusing a Mary Sue resumé. They piled in so many good factors without having any negatives that it just comes across as comical. Prince might as well say, "I guess I'll just fall into the first pit of the level then. No, don't bother rewinding it, that'll just waste time when I could be refunding you instead."

I liked the entire trilogy, but to have this gay warrior princess shit in it when Farah was already bossy and commanding in the original tells me this remake won't be worth it.

 

[moocow]

Ubisoft learns nothing. Makes Farah into a “we don’t need no man” girl-boss. They are still thinking this will somehow reach a wider modern audience.

"There is no longer a need to protect her." So why exactly am I playing?