Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

Skull and Bones has been removed from sale on the PSN store and people are getting full refunds for pre-orders.
 
I love assassins creed, but if ubisoft dies maybe the IP will go to a company who still gives a shit about the lore and finally ends the game proper
 
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Small funny thing I saw on Youtube recently. Whimsu made a video about his predictions for what will happen in the games industry in 2023:


Most of the predictions are rather down to Earth, plausible, and/or based on existing trends in the industry, but he had one "wild card" prediction. One that was more out there and less likely, though not impossible, and his wild card prediction was that Nintendo would buy Ubisoft due to Ubisoft's flagging fortunes. He starts talking about it at 3:14 into the video.
Sorry for late posting, but I honestly wouldn’t mind Nintendo nabbing Ubisoft. Maybe then Soliani can have a bigger role in the company and get Rayman and the Rabbids a bigger spot light. I have been playing a lot of Sparks of Hope recently, and it is sad to see my boy make such an incredible game only for Ubishit to now throw him under the bus because it “underperformed.” Fuck this company for holding the Rayman franchise captive.
 
Sorry for late posting, but I honestly wouldn’t mind Nintendo nabbing Ubisoft. Maybe then Soliani can have a bigger role in the company and get Rayman and the Rabbids a bigger spot light. I have been playing a lot of Sparks of Hope recently, and it is sad to see my boy make such an incredible game only for Ubishit to now throw him under the bus because it “underperformed.” Fuck this company for holding the Rayman franchise captive.
Sparks of Hope is the best Saturday morning cartoon I've ever played. They did already confirm 3 dlcs with challenge maps, a story with a new spark hunter, and one starring just Rabbid Mario and Peach and Rayman so he's almost kind of back.

I adore Sparks of Hope but for the game underperforming, here's my unremarkable #YearOfTheRabbit Raging Rayman Rabbid Rant Review:
In my shitty opinion, the game lacks a solid target audience.
Grandmas won't buy this game for their grandkids. I worked big box store electronics retail when the first game came out and it was a hard sell specifically because it's Mario but with guns and grenades. It's a weird combo that works (in sparks, blasting two enemies mid air as mario ALWAYS kicks ass) but parents don't want to hear a game that is described as a "tactical shooter."
Real young kids might like Mario, but again, tactical shooter isn't really a popular genre for that age group. There are certainly some levels that I was like "they want kids to play this?" cause they were wild. And Rabbids really aren't a popular series. I had to look up what else they were in and since 2017 it was just some educational mobile games which also don't scream Rabbid appeal to me.
It doesn't appeal to adults because I was also initially turned off by the prospect of Mayro + Ubisoft Minions With Ears but I like the Rabbid cast cause they're defined characters. The first game had adult humor but mostly small jokes in item descriptions. And this gem:
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Sparks has more adult jokes upfront and atmospherically it's more coherent, comfy and less absurdist. I bought the first game literally cause of Kirkhope and damn he goes hard on both.
It doesn't appeal to tactical game players because this has been a banner year for tacticals. We saw this game, Triangle Strategy, Tactics Ogre, Live a live, Front Mission, Hard West 2, and Im sure a bunch of indie titles. At the end of the year, I just don't think this was on as many peoples' radars that would pick it up otherwise.
It doesn't appeal to a younger generation of gamers because it's not Fortnite. That's not being reductive. Grant Kirkhope himself told a story in an interview during AGDQ i think 2016 during the Banjo Kazooie run. He son was playing through Rare Replay on the xbox and Grant sat with him while his son played through all the Banjo Kazooie games (without even telling his son he did the music). And Grant said his son like the third one the best cause you could build. His son liked BK but preferred Minecraft cause he could play with his friends. A $60 game with 30 hours of single player game won't win against the appeal of free with your friends with custom modes.
So that leaves me, the 20 to 30 something who played the first one, to buy it. The first game was actually discounted when it dropped and I really think they had low expectations cause it was so weird. But man that combat got every gear in my head turning. It got a lot of buzz that translated into awards because it was unique. But you can't make a sequel and have it be as fresh. Playing sparks i thought a lot about my coworker who sits with his kid when he games sometimes. Something the kid could laugh at and the adult would appreciate the music and help his kid through the tough parts. That would be the ideal audience to me.

And yeah, I was kind of upset too when I made it to the end and I said "wow, this really was a great game. I'll remember this," but I knew it hadn't done well financially (and it must have been expensive. they got a whole ass orchestra for the game and the credits have tons of people). But I think I'm fine with the feeling of, "wow the second game was a cult classic. It didn't do well but the people who played it loved it," instead of, "yeah the third game was bad, but the 4th was just awful". It deserves so much more but I appreciated it and some people here do too. And that's fine. But I might actually cry because my favorite track in the game has less than 1000 views on youtube. The comfiest track of the comfiest world deserves better.

Since I'm sperging, there's an ancient greek concept of the 4 temperaments based on the four humors. Each one is a (flawed) personality type associated with a certain bodily fluid and element. It's still a trope used today. But each one also has an associated season. And with the 4 worlds in Sparks being based on the seasons, the Wardens of those worlds also have a matching personality from the 4 temperaments, with the last warden being the most capable with balanced humors. It could be accidental because archetypes / universal unconscious, but I'll believe it was on purpose and that the game is more clever than people think. They went so hard on the Wardens, giving them all back stories and unique art for what are essentially generic quest givers. Just such love put into everything really.
tl;dr i am moving to Palette Prime. I will be weevils in wheat with Woodrow. I will hang out with all the cute ghosty rabbit girls. #YOTR.
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@An Ghost, Sparks of Hope is probably my favorite Mario RPG. The amount of sheer polish and passion is incredible. It sucks that it underperformed.

I think some causes for it though we’re more so the impending recession, lack of advertising in comparison to the first, and Ubisoft making the first 20 with DLC like a year after release. If you knew about it, you are probably waiting for the price drop.
 
Only announce your test server a day and a half before it goes live
Fuck up the preload
Only add a couple of new weapons/gear pieces to the game
They're so fucking broken there's no way to functionally test them anyway (there's a sniper rifle whose entire gimmick revolves around marking targets while scoped in, except the scope didn't work)
Close PTS after just 4 days with zero notice
new season is due in <2 weeks, which means with console cert times they have just over a week to unfuck it.

It's doubly funny how dogshit their communication is given they hired a new community manager just last year. Turns out a retarded and/or literal autist diversity hire is bad at her job, who knew?
massive was fucking retarded even when I was still playing d2 in fucking 2019. can't even imagine how they could become worse.
 
Sorry for late posting, but I honestly wouldn’t mind Nintendo nabbing Ubisoft. Maybe then Soliani can have a bigger role in the company and get Rayman and the Rabbids a bigger spot light. I have been playing a lot of Sparks of Hope recently, and it is sad to see my boy make such an incredible game only for Ubishit to now throw him under the bus because it “underperformed.” Fuck this company for holding the Rayman franchise captive.
And then they can establish a new subsidiary on the fucking moon!

Nintendo does not, generally speaking, prefer to buy companies. Especially ones they don't work with regularly (and no, two games from one out of thirty studios does not count.) At most you'd be looking at them buying Ubisoft Milan (M+R team) but even then, I doubt it. Its a big studio and their games didn't sell that well.

In more Ubisoft news, they released a trailer for the Crew: Motorfest today. Its out this year and looks just as shitty as the past two Crews were.
 
They announced earlier The Crew Motorfest. Basically a Forza Horizon ripoff.

Another game that's going to sell 300 units and be forgotten forever after two days.

I do wonder if this new Crew game will be supported for as long as The Crew 2 was, given that TC2 launched in a terrible state, but somehow received support for a much longer time than other racing games, looking at you NFS Heat.
 
I hope Ubisoft survives enough to make their planned Assassin's Creed games. Supposedly one has to do with Reformation witch hunts and another with Japan.
 
massive was fucking retarded even when I was still playing d2 in fucking 2019. can't even imagine how they could become worse.
Imagine the same inept retarded management, but remove the rest of the original team and replace them with a handful of interns with zero knowledge of the Snowdrop engine, let alone the spaghetti codebase The Division 2 is built on.
Hell what I posted earlier was tame, since they restarted content they've functionally broken the PC version to make it basically unplayable for large swathes of the player base and they have zero idea how to fix it.
 
And then they can establish a new subsidiary on the fucking moon!

Nintendo does not, generally speaking, prefer to buy companies. Especially ones they don't work with regularly (and no, two games from one out of thirty studios does not count.) At most you'd be looking at them buying Ubisoft Milan (M+R team) but even then, I doubt it. Its a big studio and their games didn't sell that well.

In more Ubisoft news, they released a trailer for the Crew: Motorfest today. Its out this year and looks just as shitty as the past two Crews were.
I remember being really intrigued with The Crew, it kind of reminded me of what I wanted and imagined video games to be in "the future" as a kid, with super-huge maps and limitless potential. Unfortunately, the more I read about it the less interested I got, and finally lost all interest when I decided to look into the demo and it was like 20 GB just for the demo alone.

It wasn't the most egregious example of "total hype" to "not buying this" in my lifetime (by the mid-2010s I was an adult and could not be swayed easily by the gaming press) but it was one of the most notable examples in the last decade.
 
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I hope Ubisoft survives enough to make their planned Assassin's Creed games. Supposedly one has to do with Reformation witch hunts and another with Japan.
The AssCreed about witches sounds like a woman came up with this idea.

Hell what I posted earlier was tame, since they restarted content they've functionally broken the PC version to make it basically unplayable for large swathes of the player base and they have zero idea how to fix it.
It's unbelievable that they still have not fixed the freeze that happens randomly and forces you to go into the Windows task manager to manually shut down the program. Oh, and I'm not even talking about how you can't alt+tab so the only option is to move the Divison 2 window to another desktop.
 
It's unbelievable that they still have not fixed the freeze that happens randomly and forces you to go into the Windows task manager to manually shut down the program. Oh, and I'm not even talking about how you can't alt+tab so the only option is to move the Divison 2 window to another desktop.
It's not just that they haven't fixed it, it's that they've actively made it several times worse than it used to be. Crashing every now and then was always a ball ache, but manageable. Now it's not uncommon to crash multiple times in a short period of time. The other week I wanted to log on and find Cassie to buy an item. What should have taken 2 mins took like 30+ because I crashed no less than half a dozen times trying to travel like 3 streets.
 
As an addendum to how shit Massive/Ubisoft are with The Division 2:
Last Monday they announced the new season would be starting today
Last Friday they announced it's been indefinitely delayed because they can't even go a week without being embarrassing retards.

The real problem though is because the new season hasn't started it's broken a ton of shit. Directives (optional modifiers which can massively increase exp gain) are gone. Can't change world difficulty. Can't reset control points to farm them. Trying to travel from New York to Washington crashes the game. Moving your cursor near the Countdown icon on the map can even crash your game.
I'm not normally one of those people on social media who are all "rah rah devs are retarded and should be fired and then shot in the streets etc etc" but given how consistently poor the Divisions leadership has been for years at this point I genuinely don't understand how some of them are still in the job tbh.
 
Funny thing I noticed: Ubisoft's version of Scrabble has a 2.3/5 rating on Xbox:
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How on Earth do you screw up Scrabble, of all things? Let's check the reviews:
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Most of the negative reviews mention the game just crashing on boot. Fuck's sake, it's fucking SCRABBLE! And apparently it's been out for years, never being fixed. Some of the positive reviews mention you have to have some other Ubisoft app installed, which is frankly nuts that you'd have to learn about it from reviews.

It's not really surprising, though. Most people here I'm sure will never play video game adaptations of board games or game shows, but I like those kinda games, and I can personally vouch for how Ubisoft's renditions are the most soulless versions I've ever seen. They have the personality of those self-ordering screens at McDonalds. Light jazz so generic it sounds autogenerated in the menus. Bland presentations that don't even carry the spirit of the game, like we're playing them in some sort of general multi-game simulator. It's hard to describe, but I'm sure you don't wanna sit through a ten minute video of me showcasing NES & SNES Monopoly vs. Ubisoft's Monopoly Plus vs. that one DS version of Monopoly where Rich Uncle Pennybags dances when you pause it:
 
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