Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

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White Devil said:
Let's be fair, all of the AC protags were magically endowed with amazing martial prowess, that's part of the power fantasy of gaming. At the end of the day AC4 is just a fun pirate simulator.
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While I won't deny that, it's sewn into their backgrounds. Ezio was secretly being groomed to become an assassin and steadily progresses to the point he's named mentor. Altair was born into it and was already the best by the time his game happens. Connor grew up in a tribe and got taught by a master assassin when he was a teenager.
In contrast, Edward was some peasant Welsh ship-hand.

and what they did to the story
i know it was all downhill after 3's ending but come on
 
God of Nothing said:
While I won't deny that, it's sewn into their backgrounds. Ezio was secretly being groomed to become an assassin and steadily progresses to the point he's named mentor. Altair was born into it and was already the best by the time his game happens. Connor grew up in a tribe and got taught by a master assassin when he was a teenager.
In contrast, Edward was some peasant Welsh ship-hand.

and what they did to the story
i know it was all downhill after 3's ending but come on
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Not going to make an autistic argument that being a sailor in ye olden days will turn you into a ninja, but that absolutely was back breaking work so I could at least make allowances for strength and agility.

Yea, the stories are fucking stupid. I really wish they never went with the whole Animus thing or fucking aliens, should have had each game just be it's own contained period piece. I hated Origins gameplay for example but that at least had a fun take on your classic revenge story.
 
White Devil said:
Yea, the stories are fucking stupid. I really wish they never went with the whole Animus thing or fucking aliens, should have had each game just be it's own contained period piece. I hated Origins gameplay for example but that at least had a fun take on your classic revenge story.
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It was one thing when it was like this
Before whatever the fuck this is supposed to be happened
 
Thiletonomics said:
In addition to Battlefield 2042's shitty launch, and the game somehow is still getting updated, they also continue to milk the hell out of The Sims 4, as that game will be turning 9 years old in 2 months. And even though the TS4 DLCs, and the game as a whole, have been absolute bug-fests, people continue to buy them, since EA still holds an effective monopoly on the Life Simulation genre. And given the past EA controversies with The Sims series, i.e. SecuROM in The Sims 2's later Expansion Packs, The Sims 3 Store, and all of the removed features in TS4 on-launch, and yet people still continue to buy and play their games, the Stockholm Syndrome will most likely stick around for a long time.
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My nigger, Sim City and Maxis don't exist anymore. Just give it some time.

The process is slow, but it'll happen.
 
xXx: State of the Union said:
What is with these faggot gamers and their remakes? Also they can't even get Skull and Bones out but they can get this out?
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They're only going to remake 4 because they can reuse Skull and Bones assets, I bet it's a cost saving measure because that game cost upwards of a billion euros and still hasn't come out.

They should just make another pirate game in the same vein as Black Flag but nope, just gonna get the same game again, not that BF doesn't have major problems that could use fixing.

Remakes are the new big thing because new devs literally cannot make anything better than what came before, so they need a blueprint of a better game to emulate, and publishers like them because they're a proven commodity that has already sold.
 
X Prime said:
Also, what's with the hate for Capcom from South America and Asia? What did they do to piss off those two?
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Probably Street Fighter

Considering South America and Japan are heavily into fighting games, they probably didn't like the n00b friendly mechanics and all the diversity capcom was shoving into those games.
 
Thiletonomics said:
The next Sims game, with the production name Project Rene, won't be any better, as it will apparently be F2P, always online, and will most likely either lockdown modding, or they'll create a curated platform for mods, as TS4's collaboration with Overwolf appears to be a testing ground for that. And given the restrictions on Overwolf, mods such as Extreme Violence will not likely exist on Project Rene.
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Its not exactly Not-The Sims 5 but the original creator of the Sims has his own studio under Paradox now and is making a "single player metaverse" game to be released in September. You might want to check it out.
 
Asian tech support said:
I don't think about them at all now that they don't have Deus Ex. Maybe that's the worst fate; to disappear without evoking any emotion.
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I mean, their new FF16 failed in their homeland of Japan. I can't wait for that company to just evaporate
Sparky Lurker said:
-Research was made on 2021.
-Considering they only used Twitter as metrics they likely used "language equivalent of fuck+company name" as data.
-Considering the data was from 2021, on another map Wendy's pops up as the most hated fast-food brand on Brazil, thing is Wendy's shut down on Brazil on January 2020, making barely any sense the continuous hatred of a brand that left the country a year prior.
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Pointless and already outdated tbh.
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And also inaccurate as sin. Dominos isn't even that bad in terms of fast food.
 
whatever I feel like said:
Its not exactly Not-The Sims 5 but the original creator of the Sims has his own studio under Paradox now and is making a "single player metaverse" game to be released in September. You might want to check it out.
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no will wright is doing some nft game apparently. different guy for this one, rod humble, former Executive Vice President of EA Play and Head of The Sims Label*
*this is what wikipedia says and they are very trustworthy
 
Sparky Lurker said:
-Research was made on 2021.
-Considering they only used Twitter as metrics they likely used "language equivalent of fuck+company name" as data.
-Considering the data was from 2021, on another map Wendy's pops up as the most hated fast-food brand on Brazil, thing is Wendy's shut down on Brazil on January 2020, making barely any sense the continuous hatred of a brand that left the country a year prior.
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Pointless and already outdated tbh.
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Yeah I looked up at the results of the country where I live and the most hated isn't in business there. And yeah how the hell domino's is hated, pizza hut deserves it a lot more.
 
Remember when Ubisoft got flask for their games alluding to politics, but Ubisoft insisting that their games are "apolitical?"

I'm thinking three theories with their statement at face value. Ubisoft doesn't want their games to BE political statements themselves, Ubisoft doesn't have the care or skill to write convincing stories in their games, or it's people overreacting to typical Ubisoft marketing because it doesn't align to THEIR politics/beliefs.
 
The Last Stand said:
Remember when Ubisoft got flask for their games alluding to politics, but Ubisoft insisting that their games are "apolitical?"

I'm thinking three theories with their statement at face value. Ubisoft doesn't want their games to BE political statements themselves, Ubisoft doesn't have the care or skill to write convincing stories in their games, or it's people overreacting to typical Ubisoft marketing because it doesn't align to THEIR politics/beliefs.
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Ubisoft's lopsided with their political ideology and/or beliefs
 
Ubisoft admitting they purposefully make their female characters uglier to appease twitter/tumblr fags
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I bought Assassin's Creed Origins years ago for dirty cheap during a sale and decided to play it recently, it was my first "boring, bloated shitty Bugsoft open-world" experience and I'll tell you, I survived maybe 3 or 4 hours before uninstalling it.

They need urgently to change the way they design their games, it's just unacceptable. And I heard they doubled down since then, with Ass Creed Valhalla being legit unplayable even for long-time series fans.

There's so much shit wrong with this, but let's start with the biggest cliché with this kind of game, unskippable walking dialogues. I didn't play long enough and I encountered probably 2 or 3 of those "gameplay" moments that are just padding to wait for some shitty dialogue. One of those instances was on a side quest involving a virgin greek or some shit like that. It was not even important stuff. The game doesn't have level design, the fortresses are just simple mazes that were probably generated through an algorithm. You get in, kill some guards or captains, use your bird to find two treasures and that's it. Noone sit down and carefully designed those places to have interesting stealthy or combat strategies. They probably just cobbled together each one of these maps in one afternoon during the crunching period of the game. You can attack enemy ships too and as far as I can tell, they are all literally the same.

The reward system is irrelevant. All the weapons feel the same. The gameplay is terrible, your character looks like a demented zombie having a seizure. The lock-on system makes the camera even worse, and about half of my inputs didn't register. I believe this happened because the game doesn't have an input buffer and the animations take forever to finish. Talking about animations, I just can't comprehend who thought it would be a good idea to slow-mo the game every time you encounter a new enemy. and the kill animations are unnecessarily slow just to break the pace of the already terrible combat.

Climbing involves zero strategy or puzzles, just keep mashing A and you will reach anything. "Synchronizing" towers is absolutely unsatisfying because there's no skill check for that.

Assassin's Creed is just a braindead game. The worst kind of braindead game because it's not stimulating or engaging. Take something really stupid like Vampire Survivors, you can shut down your brain while playing this shit too but at least you can explode 1000 enemies every second and see numbers go up to trick your monkey brain that something awesome is happening. Those Ubisoft games just feel like a chore.
 
Raging Capybara said:
Assassin's Creed is just a braindead game. The worst kind of braindead game because it's not stimulating or engaging. Take something really stupid like Vampire Survivors, you can shut down your brain while playing this shit too but at least you can explode 1000 enemies every second and see numbers go up to trick your monkey brain that something awesome is happening. Those Ubisoft games just feel like a chore.
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It's sad that Assassin's Creed is a franchise that has nothing going on, and Ubisoft milking it as a franchise is the equivalent to that of manatees existing.
 
The Last Stand said:
What's with Tumblr thinking that a woman cannot be attractive AND a worthwhile character? Do they have such low expectations for themselves that everybody has to suffer?
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Yes, that is literally what it is, along with the male feminists that simp for said low self-esteem women because they think they can have a chance with them. Their insecurities is all under the guise of patriarchy, sexist, muhsoggyknees, etc...
 
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