Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

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Why is there even romance in this game at all? What does that have to do with assassins and secret societies and the war and all that other shit this is supposed to be about?
I bet this feels even more forced than the gay romances in KCD2.
 
Why is there even romance in this game at all? What does that have to do with assassins and secret societies and the war and all that other shit this is supposed to be about?
I bet this feels even more forced than the gay romances in KCD2.
Bioware and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.
 
Why is there even romance in this game at all?
Because Ubisoft has the same goyslop brain parasite as EA and Sony where every game has to have everything to appeal to everyone instead of knuckling down and refining a USP that will make the product stand out.

OT: The weekend will give us a much better idea, but so far Shadows peaked at 30k less players than Veilguard did on launch, and that game ended up free with PS+ in under 6 months.
VeilguardReleaseSteamDB.png
ShadowsReleaseSteamDB.png
I'm not willing to call it just yet but it's looking bad. (For Ubisoft, that is. I hope this shit bombs harder than Hiroshima.)
 
Why is there even romance in this game at all? What does that have to do with assassins and secret societies and the war and all that other shit this is supposed to be about?
I bet this feels even more forced than the gay romances in KCD2.
Enzio fucked like half of Italy back in the day so it’s not like romance is something new in the series.
 
Ubislop is done. There are some good games they made in the past. But all their recent stuff has been garbage. They milked Assassin's Creed for far longer than they should have been able to. But dip shits kept buying it. Kind of like how the retarded Millennials kept buy Modern Warfare games in the late 2000's. Modern Warfare 1 was great. Modern warfare 2 was ok and Black Ops 1 was pretty good.. Everything that came after that was trash.
 
OT: The weekend will give us a much better idea, but so far Shadows peaked at 30k less players than Veilguard did on launch, and that game ended up free with PS+ in under 6 months.
And just to put things into even more perspective - Veilguard's credits are cca. 30 minutes long, AssCreed: Shadows are over 2 hours -2 hours and 6 minutes to be exact.

Granted, it's by no means an exact science, but Shadows is a much bigger and more expensive project by orders of magnitudes, even if we account for the fact Veilguard was in development for 9 years, in comparison to Shadow's 5.

I recall someone saying that Ubisoft would have needed to reach 150k concurrent players, but I don't think even that would be enough to break even. They needed this game to be a smashing success on the levels of Monster Hunter Wilds to have any chance of avoiding a complete collapse.
 
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I recall someone saying that Ubisoft would have needed to break 150k concurrent players, but I don't think even that would be enough to break even. They needed this game to be a smashing success on the levels of Monster Hunter Wilds to have any chance of avoiding a complete collapse.
As ever it's difficult to find hard figures to support any theories, but from what I've been able to dig up it seems Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown and Star Wars Outlaws both sold less than 2 million copies and were considered a failure, whereas Assassin's Creed: Mirage had 5 million players (note this does not indicate copies sold) and was considered a big success.

Given the scale of Mirage was much smaller, suggesting the budget was too, I would say Shadows needs to hit at least 8 million copies to not be a disaster for Ubisoft.

As further food for thought, Dead Space 2 infamously failed to meet expectations despite shifting 4 million copies, and that was 14 years ago. DS2 allegedly had a budget of $60 million, (not including marketing,) which according to my inflation calculator is about $85 million in 2025 money. I think it's a safe assumption Shadows cost considerably more than $85 million to make.
 
Enzio fucked like half of Italy back in the day so it’s not like romance is something new in the series.
Yeah, but Ezio was a cool character people actually liked and this was part of his charm. Yasuke is a stupid nigger that was historically a court jester monkey, not some respected samurai warrior. Especially if the romance options involve diddling a dude, I guess I should just feel glad that considering who the lead writers are, there isn't a shota romance with Naoe as this is definitely what they would include if they could. One of the "historical experts" pretty much just wrote a bunch of fanfiction about monks diddling little boys, you can check her out in the 4 hour credits.
Ubislop is done. There are some good games they made in the past. But all their recent stuff has been garbage. They milked Assassin's Creed for far longer than they should have been able to. But dip shits kept buying it. Kind of like how the retarded Millennials kept buy Modern Warfare games in the late 2000's. Modern Warfare 1 was great. Modern warfare 2 was ok and Black Ops 1 was pretty good.. Everything that came after that was trash.
Black Ops 2 is universally seen as the best title in the franchise behind MW1/2 and BO1(sometimes above them), so you're wrong. As much as I like the game, Ghosts was the start of the downfall.
Talking of bomb, maybe the japanese won't care too much about the coincidence but with enough controversies surrounding the game as it is, they somehow picked march 20th, aka the 30th anniversary of the Tokyo sarin gas attack to release this.
Woooow buddy!
It is funny how quickly people forgot about this. Now, 30 years later, we have French terrorizing them by butchering their history and filling it with their BBC fanfics of Yasuke boinking the ancestor of one of their sitting politicians
 
Talking of bomb, maybe the japanese won't care too much about the coincidence but with enough controversies surrounding the game as it is, they somehow picked march 20th, aka the 30th anniversary of the Tokyo sarin gas attack to release this.
Woooow buddy!
Aww man, and those ultra-mean Japan-haters did the same thing with Xenoblade, how very racist of them.
 
Because Ubisoft has the same goyslop brain parasite as EA and Sony where every game has to have everything to appeal to everyone instead of knuckling down and refining a USP that will make the product stand out.

OT: The weekend will give us a much better idea, but so far Shadows peaked at 30k less players than Veilguard did on launch, and that game ended up free with PS+ in under 6 months.
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I'm not willing to call it just yet but it's looking bad. (For Ubisoft, that is. I hope this shit bombs harder than Hiroshima.)

I wonder how ubisoft will spin this to the investors.

"If you truly think about it, this is a victory through the representation!"

meanwhile Tencent is licking their ear behind them while they are pretending not to know.

Video game industry: "I can't figure out why the industry is imploding"

Also video game industry: "Here are your OVER 2 HOURS OF CREDITS"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4Cm4tQOBPxA

"Here's everyone to blame for this. And oh boy, the list is long!"

It is funny how quickly people forgot about this. Now, 30 years later, we have French terrorizing them by butchering their history and filling it with their BBC fanfics of Yasuke boinking the ancestor of one of their sitting politicians

What a fucking timeline...
 
Video game industry: "I can't figure out why the industry is imploding"

Also video game industry: "Here are your OVER 2 HOURS OF CREDITS"

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4Cm4tQOBPxA
A little correction: A good chunk of that is open source software licenses which they are legally obligated to recite.

As for the small army of Indians, though? Yeah, that's just Ubi being Ubi roflmao.
 
I wonder how ubisoft will spin this to the investors.
I'm currently operating under the assumption the real reason Shadows was delayed til the end of March was so it'd be too late to include in the 2024 financial year. That Q1 shareholders meeting is sure to be interesting!
 
A little correction: A good chunk of that is open source software licenses which they are legally obligated to recite.
And in true lazy dev fashion, they just copy-pasted the text as-is from the 80-column text files instead of formatting the text to efficiently use the space available in their widescreen credit roll. I think I even saw a section where they literally included the C-style comments from a license embedded in a header file, e.g. "/* Preamble blah blah blah */".

Lazy asses.
 
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