Ubisoft Sellout - Bankruptcy Speedrun Any% Thread

[Waffle Iron]

The animus was an interesting idea, but I'm allergic to grand conspiracy stories that try to tie every historically significant event and person and every unsolved mystery together. Especially since 99% of the time they don't actually have a plan how to tie it all together and just drop these mystery breadcrumbs to make it look cool. Unlocking eagle vision for desmond at the end of AC1 and seeing the walls of your cell worked as a oh shit moment.

But after 3 the desmond arc was done and they shouldve dropped it then. I don't think anyone would've complained. They wouldn't drop any threads and leave fans pissed off. I think they kept it since they just were ordered to make more AC with minimal changes. Maybe removing the animus would kill hte golden goose, so don't touch it.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Yes, but the Singapore studio was far more incompetent than Ubisoft typically is.

That's because it was a scam for their executives to take all-expenses vacations. I'm convinced they didn't even bother reading the contract.

 

[Miller]

Those were already in the original game, you had just forgotten about it.

They are adding a new female character in the remaster. They have changed the models for the whores, now they are all fat.

 

[DiabeticSydePhil]

They are adding a new female character in the remaster. They have changed the models for the whores, now they are all fat.

Oh no, fat whores in some literal backwater shanty town hell hole, my immersion.

Wake me up if they make Anne Bonny less of a babe.

 

[Miller]

Oh no, fat whores in some literal backwater shanty town hell hole, my immersion.

Wake me up if they make Anne Bonny less of a babe.

If it's not important then why change it?

 

[DiabeticSydePhil]

If it's not important then why change it?

I'm not about to google the new whore model, but my immediate presumption is that they're just using the new, relatively stocky body figure model all NPC have gotten since, like, Odyssey.

 

[whatever I feel like]

They are adding a new female character in the remaster. They have changed the models for the whores, now they are all fat.

"Realistic" video game whores always look disgusting anyway. Same with most real ones. You can smell the poor on them.

 

[God of Nothing]

They are adding a new female character in the remaster. They have changed the models for the whores, now they are all fat.

how the fuck do you get fat in notoriously resource scarce environments pre-modern criminals and those ajacent lived in?

and what exactly did they mean by this????

 

[DeadwastePrime]

They are adding a new female character in the remaster. They have changed the models for the whores, now they are all fat.

finally, period accurate whores in my pirate simulator

 

[God of Nothing]

finally, period accurate whores in my pirate simulator

but the game is set in the early 1800s, not the 2000s

 

[whatever I feel like]

but the game is set in the early 1800s, not the 2000s

The whores were probably fat back then since they would have been eating a carb-heavy diet of whatever single crop was in stock at the time.

 

[p1138]

but the game is set in the early 1800s, not the 2000s

I hate to break it to you, but whores in the 1800s weren't models either. There's plenty of drawings, and even photos getting to the 1850s showing fat prostitutes. If I were to make a guess, the better looking ones back then, much like now, didn't need to advertise on the street, or the period equivalent of a truck stop.

This is of course also a fantasy game, and as such doesn't need realistic anything in it.

 

[God of Nothing]

The whores were probably fat back then since they would have been eating a carb-heavy diet of whatever single crop was in stock at the time.

then how wasn't everyone else fat?
come on, man

I hate to break it to you, but whores in the 1800s weren't models either. There's plenty of drawings, and even photos getting to the 1850s showing fat prostitutes. If I were to make a guess, the better looking ones back then, much like now, didn't need to advertise on the street, or the period equivalent of a truck stop.

This is of course also a fantasy game, and as such doesn't need realistic anything in it.

well, duh
pirate whores on a backwater don't exactly evoke the image of a comely maiden
and the whores you do see have tan skin from sun exposure and basic clothes in comparison to Italy's dress wearing "courtesans" with devil horn hair legally mandated at the time for their kind

i'm just wondering why make them fat
it's so fucking weird

 

[p1138]

i'm just wondering why make them fat
it's so fucking weird

Because whores were fat, and it's a shitty company making a game that wants body positivity? This is ubisoft we're talking about. That alone should be enough of an explanation.

 

[God of Nothing]

Because whores were fat, and it's a shitty company making a game that wants body positivity? This is ubisoft we're talking about. That alone should be enough of an explanation.

You're right. I mean, they did make Ptolemaic Egypt a nigger infested shithole and the one game finally set in Japan about a nigger because of scarce record of a single one's existence.

 

[whatever I feel like]

then how wasn't everyone else fat?
come on, man

Physical labor. People who just sat around were fat.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Physical labor. People who just sat around were fat.

fucking is physical labor. they just got paid well enough to get plump for their big dick pirate patrons

 

[God of Nothing]

fucking is physical labor. they just got paid well enough to get plump for their big dick pirate patrons

what a truly degenerate time
any true man hates fat bitches

 

[Gay Sex Enjoyer]

they just got paid well enough to get plump for their big dick pirate patrons

I mean have you seen how dark Caribbeans are

 

[Oliver Onions]

Why are we arguing about the historically accurate plumpness of whores when Ubisoft have made it clear they'll happily retcon history when it suits them to make a slave the best samurai in all of Nippon.

Just be grateful none of them have vitiligo (so far).