Was Bob a decent parent?

[AnOminous]

Compared to Barb, he was definitely the better parent but does that make him a good parent? Not really, in my eyes. He still coddled Chris, but unlike Barb, he did attempt to put his foot down to some of Chris's shenanigans. I do think he had good intentions, but it was all undone by his age. The man was too old to be having more children, he can't keep up with them at his age.

His sperm was what was too old. If you're an old man, it's just vastly more likely you have an autist as a kid.

So if you're an old man, DON'T DO THAT.

 

[Ravenor]

I think Bob was just to old to have another child and was a product of his time, by modern standards he's a prity sub par father however the lengths he went to for Chris's well being where prity long. In Bob's day kids like Chris where lucky if they got sent to a home where the doctors didn't lobotomise you, he didn't really have a understanding that things had progressed from that by the time it became a issue for young Chris and played the shell game that lead to the Green County Conspiracy to keep him away from that kind of treatment, He also tried to teach Chris things about the world but Chris wasn't capable of that kind of learning and came off as uninterested but Bob still tried.

Hell when @skyraider91 leaked that bit of info about the sign on 14BLC's shed door that said something like "Mr C's and Little C's dream space" proves he really did have good intentions towards Chris's well being and was at least willing to try, in fact I think in most of the early pictures of Bob an Chris right the way through to Chris's late teens Bob seemed happy to be around Chris and in contrast pictures from around the same time show Barb to be somewhat indifferent at best pissed off at worst.

Towards the end though I am guessing he just gave up not because he was being neglectful but he was tired and at the point of his life where your don't see a calendar as a good investment and your taking stock of your life and what's the final score going to look like, he was in a marriage that wasn't just cold it was down right frozen, a son who despite trying to do the best for was a hopeless case, a ex-wife who he hadn't spoken to for years, other children who he hadn't spoken to and they didn't even acknowledge his existence and living in a house that could be likened do a unorganised rubbish dump.

In the end all's he had was his music and a small room he could count as his own in his own house that he was the only functional adult in so given all that he just decided to do what he wanted to do in the time he had left and intervened in OPL's and Barbs life when he really had to because in the end that final core wasn't looking so great.

 

[The Other Chandler]

I side with the "Not really a good parent, but better than Barb" camp. It's really astounding the amount of effort he put into keeping Chris out of a special needs program. He filed a lawsuit, had him home schooled for a year, and moved to another city. While misguided, there's no doubt he thought he was helping his son. He was also the one who forced Chris to switch majors to CADD, which while also misguided was clearly done because he believed it would give his son a future. I think it was only after Chris got kicked out of college for a year and went full love-quest that Bob kind of gave up a bit. That combined with old age and Barb starting to go off the deep end too.

On the other hand almost every one of his major acts of love was seriously misguided and he still let Barb ruin the kid. Especially if the stories about him and Barb going barhopping 24/7 in Chris's early childhood are true. His pre-Barb children also clearly didn't want much to do with him, and from what I understand didn't even go to his funeral. And everything Cole had to say about him was pretty scathing too. (Though admittedly, Cole is a colossal tool and not really to be trusted.)

I'm still sad he died though. I think most of the bad stuff that has happened in the last few years (house fire, criminal charges, being totally broke, etc.) wouldn't have happened with Bob still around.

 

[SnergenFlergen]

The main way he was literally not a "good" parent was just having a child at the age he did.

Well that and imparting his homophobic, xenophobic old-fashioned conservative world-view onto Chris which he still hasn't fully shaken to this day.

Oh, that and paying Chris's classmates to hang out with him when he realised he was incapable of making friends on his own.

 

[nyess]

Bob was a pretty shit parent

It's ok though, because he's dead now.

 

[Sarcastic Username]

Saying "his other kids turned out okay so he's a good parent" or "this kid turned out bad so he's a bad parent" overlooks the kids' roles in their own lives.

Chris has agency. He makes decisions every day.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

Chris wasn't in full on tranny mode macing GameStop employees when Bob was alive, just food for thought.

 

[Rize Kamishiro]

Chris wasn't in full on tranny mode macing GameStop employees when Bob was alive, just food for thought.

Maybe, but still Barb "didn't raise no daughter." But that would imply she still gives a shit anymore.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

I honestly don't believe he was "racist" in today's sense. i find it annoying when kiwiers strawman him into some xenophobic conservative backwoods archetype.

If any of the true and honest souls posting here were brought up in the environment and time Bob was.... Most would be far more "racist" and not raise Chris any better.

This has always irked me. It just plays into that sad SJW trope that if you're some old white guy from the south, you're automatically some inbred George Lincoln Rockwell coon crusher. Like if he was born in New York or LA in the 30's he'd be some paragon of enlightenment and tolerance. Bob was a fairly cosmopolitan man, by anyone standards. He's traveled around the world, was a genuine Jazz fan, and seemed interested in global politics. He also friends with a Korean pastor, and they'd go out for coffee and shoot the shit.

Everyone always points to Bob saying "Get your black ass to the gutter" and "I've seen crosses burning" as concrete proof that he was a dyed-in-the-wool hate in his heart Klansman. You gotta remember though, Bob was an old man with enough to worry about without getting harassing phone calls all the time. If Bob was really racist, I'm sure his language would've been a lot more colorful, if you pardon that little pun I threw in there. What would he have to lose?

I'm sure Bob had some ideas that would be considered "Politically Incorrect" , but you also gotta remember, we live in a culture that if Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I have a dream" speech today, he'd be called an ableist self-loathing shitlord for daring to suggest the idea that someone should be judged by the content of their character.

I mean, yes, it's delusional to think Chris is a whiz for being good at video games and that his cartoon character is an international success on the internet... but that's exactly the kind of belief I'd expect an octogenarian to have about those kinds of things. As others have stated, I don't think he believed it when he told Chris that Chris would get more money from a tugboat than a job. It was a white lie he told Chris (and possibly himself) to make him feel better about the situation, after watching Chris fuck up even the most menial of jobs.

It's normal for a parent to be proud of their child, even if their performance is, well, less than exceptional. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Autism was as understood in the early 80's as it is now. I don't think it's so far fetched to believe their son would never learn to speak or be able to do anything but stare at the wall.

I wonder sometimes if maybe there was an emotionally abusive side to Bob. People have said that he was fairly charming IRL, but that may not have been the case with others. The thing is that the two people who have given us the most information about Bob are Cole and Chris, neither of whom are exactly reliable sources. But while Chris' claim that Bob "starts more arguments than there are flies on a garbage dump" and Cole's claims that Bob had a "bitter influence" on Barb may just be histrionic exaggeration, it could also be a sign that he was genuinely a difficult person to get on with. And while we tend to interpret Bob's inaction in later life as tiredness at the crazy antics of his retarded son, it could also be interpreted as belittling Chris. Then we have the facts that his first marriage broke down, his kids hated him and even the marriage to Barb seemed to be more out of a fear of being left alone than anything else. Maybe the simple truth is that whatever he tried to do, he was just kind of a cock.

I've always thought that Bob might a been a rotten asshole with his first family and that's why they don't talk to him, but we just don't know, and I don't think his kids would open up to us. I can see why Cole doesn't like him because he was just another asshole porking his mom. If Bob did anything specific, like call him a "nigger loving faggot" or get drunk and pass out in the street in his underwear, Cole is the type who would tell everyone about this harrowing experience, especially to his disabled half-brother. As for Chris, he was tired of Bob nagging at him and trying to make him do stuff.

I've been babbling, but I think Bob's parenting style can be summed up as "Too little, too late."

 

[4Macie]

I would say he was better than Barb, and probably better than no parent at all.

I think a normal child would have grown up fine with Bob. Granted, they'd have some old-fashioned taste and maybe old-fashion views on life and people (if school didn't balance that out) but they would have been a normal citizen I bet. I mean Bob did have other kids that seem to be doing ok...so he couldn't have been that terrible.

The problem, as others have mentioned, is that it wasn't JUST Bob, it was Barb...and it was an autistic child. A child with autism is already going to need a lot of parental support and guidance and overall special lessons and schooling. These are things Bob was incapable of giving because of his age and his way of thinking. His generation is all for throwing bad things under the rug or in a closet. Having a child with autism (or any mental illness) was viewed as failure.

So long story short, I think Bob was a mediocre at best parent with what he had...but I feel like he'd have been an ok parent in a normal setting.

 

[Rize Kamishiro]

I'm sure Bob had some ideas that would be considered "Politically Incorrect" , but you also gotta remember, we live in a culture that if Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I have a dream" speech today, he'd be called an ableist self-loathing shitlord for daring to suggest the idea that someone should be judged by the content of their character.

I agree here, it's becoming a game of "I'm more oppressed than you, so your opinion is invalid." Even though many people are legitimately oppressed for incredibly valid reasons like race or gender or sexual orientation (among others), people seem less concerned about legitimate change and more concerned about collecting ways in which they're being oppressed like it's brownie points. To make all this relevant, it would be because of the way things are now that it'd be easy for many to dismiss Bob as a backwards country yokel for things he honestly couldn't help like the era he was born in.

Does this excuse him from the mistakes he did make? Not really, but you can't necessarily claim he didn't try. Although I'm sure that when the Tomgirl phase began rearing it's ugly head just as his health and wellbeing were failing, it was enough reason for him to want to stop.

 

[I_Am_Honor_Roll]

He loved Chris, and he didn't use him the way Barb uses Chris. Bob definitely enabled him, but I feel like he did it out of love rather than the kind of apathy and selfishness that Barb tends to exude.

 

[Shokew]

Bob did keep Chris straight - there's that.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Fuck no.

He was great compared to Barb, but that's not saying much. A house plant would make a great parent compared to Barb.

Bob encouraged Chris to go on welfare rather than get a normal job. He helped plant the seeds of his laziness. His being unreasonable with Chris and only being willing to coddle Chris helped form the manchild we have today.

 

[animedad]

Chris wasn't in full-on tranny mode macing GameStop employees when Bob was alive, just food for thought.

This is important that I think some people are forgetting. Yeah, Bob was for the most part oblivious and somewhat of a shitty parent, but he struck the fear of God into Chris in this regard.

Bob did keep Chris straight - there's that.

Chris has never been straight.

 

[Asandy31]

His sperm was what was too old. If you're an old man, it's just vastly more likely you have an autist as a kid.

So if you're an old man, DON'T DO THAT.

Yeah, I've read sciency articles about how the father is more likely to contribute to autism than the mother, what I am really wondering though is if this is a global phenomena and not just bound to first world countries.

 

[drtoboggan]

Ha! No.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Yeah, I've read sciency articles about how the father is more likely to contribute to autism than the mother, what I am really wondering though is if this is a global phenomena and not just bound to first world countries.

I'm not sure how well-studied or documented autism is in the non-Western world, as in general mental illnesses have much, much bigger stigma attached to them in, say, the Middle East and Eastern Asia than they do in the Western world. When you consider how many people are reluctant to seek treatment for or even admit they or a loved one suffers from mental illness in the West, well....

For all I know there could be thousands upon thousands of Arab or Thai autists who are just locked in their rooms by their families and kept away from the rest of society.

 

[PS1gamenwatch]

I don't think he was either bad or good, just not qualified.

 

[Pikonic]

We know nothing about his ex-wife and mother of his previous kids, so I'm hesantant to say "well, his other kids turned out fine." because their mother could've influenced them like Barb did to Chris.
From what I know, Bob tried. He tried to get Chris a normal social life and tried to get him more cultured. He probably honestly thought Chris would be better off not working, but I'm willing to be he was the one who pushed Chris to get the Wendy's job.
He was from a generationn that didn't have massive mental health awareness, and he probably saw welfare as "loonies and lazies can live like kings." If Borb was 20 years younger Chris might've been fine, but no one can say for sure.
He gets an A for effort, and that's about all I can say.