Weird Dreams Thread

I don't know what I was dreaming, but when my boyfriend woke me up, he heard me say:

"Lock the main gate behind me. If I'm not back in three days, it'll mean I'm dead."

I couldn't remember anything about the dream.
 
nah i dont drink coffee at all, nor am i particularly stressed, and aside from these occasionally recurring nightmares i'm pretty happy with my sleep

i once googled this shit and it gave me a bunch of articles on lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis, but nothing useful

You can just will yourself to full wakefulness. Like wiggling your ears, once you figure out how to do it you won't forget.
 
I can’t remember any other details of what I was dreaming asides from any large, creepy insects being replaced with very small Burmese cats or something similar.
 
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I had an incoherent dream where I was trying to talk to someone about something and there was this goat thing that kept bleating. I was trying to get the goat to shut up, but then it turned into a dog and then into a pig, and I finally had it with its screaming and just punched it in the face. The person I was talking to was shocked.
 
I had gotten a painting of David Lee Roth into a juried art show and was patting myself on the back for my success, but some asshole who was getting too excited over the venue's refreshments spilled hummus all over it. It wasn't even good quality hummus, it was all watery and badly blended. I was just as offended by the poor quality of the hummus as I was by the fact that it was all over my $700 value painting.
Just saying, a David Lee Roth drawing in your style would be pretty bitchen.

Last night I had this dream where I was part of Red Hot Chili Peppers' roady crew during a concert. Oddly enough I was a withered, 70-something old roady with cataract on one eye, and even more oddly, instead of their usual songs RHCP was playing the entirety of the Tails Get Trolled soundtrack to a live audience.

Here's the soundtrack for those of you who aren't familiar with it:

Not gonna lie, seeing Anthony Kiedis sing "Nooo Porky Don't" or "Your Next" with so much feeling was pretty hilarious.

Oh, and it was Frusciante era RHCP.
 
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I had a weird dream last night where the bulk of it seemed like it was something out of the Retail Horrors thread we have here.

For whatever reason, I needed a new job and an unfamiliar person apparently knew me well enough to recommend me for a retail job. Based on the layout, the retail store looked suspiciously similar to a building in this region that has been vacant for over a decade but now scheduled to open in the near future as a clothing shop. Apparently, I got the job and this guy and I agreed to carpool when we worked the same shifts.

In the dream, however, the store sold more than clothes - selling pretty much anything and everything a la Walmart. My primary job seemed to be keeping shelves stocked throughout the day.

Time then jumps to near the end of my shift. I'm with what seems to be a high-level manager who is showing someone else the store's security protocols and practices. We take a stairway to the second floor and find multiple homeless people there ripping open boxes of cereal to eat and dumping most of it on the floor in the process.

The three of us do our best to shoo the homeless out and call for more workers to help with the removal process. The homeless guy I'm trying to shoo demands a Big Mac. I tell him, "I'm sorry, that's a wrong answer." Once that guy has been dealt with, I moved a temporary shelving unit to discover even more cereal on the floor with other stuff strewn about and staining the floor. My shift was supposed to end at 3, but it took until 5:30 for myself and others to get everything satisfactorily cleaned. On the plus side, my coworker tells me that I've been recommended as a permanent employee after impressing the higher-ups after just two days on the job. Part of me was pleased to make such a good impression, yet the other part hoped the day's events wouldn't be a regular occurrence if I were to work there on a more-than-temporary basis.

My coworker drove me back to his house which seemed out of place for the neighborhood. For whatever reason, I go inside the house with him before I realize my own car is outside. To get back outside, though, I had to snake my way through a maze of twisting hallways. I eventually end up in the back yard where my coworker's family members - and possibly others - are all in a rather large swimming pool with a deck that extends over part the pool. A random guy I didn't know handed me a box of softballs for some reason, and I thanked him. As I'm looking for a gate to leave the yard and go home, I hear a woman's voice yelling for my coworker to join her in the pool before dinner. She comes out from under the deck - obviously skinny-dipping and looking unattractive enough to be horrifying. At this point, I'm not sure what to think about my coworker, his family, or his personal life.

Thankfully, this is where I woke up.
 
.I used to have a recurring weird nightmare where I'm at my house with my mom and in this dream we were always hanging out. Then this sinister tense feeling would come out of nowhere and this van would pull up. I don't remember ever seeing who was in the vehicle but it was obviously someone who was there to do harm. My mom said the same thing in the dream which was something along the lines of "why doesn't he just kill me now?" I never saw her die in the dream, but it was scary.
Also I just realized while writing this that I haven't had this dream since my mom died a few years ago.

.I don't know why this happens but a few times I've been woken up from a dream because my phone goes off and for some reason I panic for half a second because I think it's Stephen calling to yell at me. Why.
 
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I just woke up from a dream where I was reading a webcomic about a couple going on a ski trip, who are late boarding the plane but manage to stow away in the cargo area. Everything's fine until they hear a loud commotion and lots of shouting on the other side of the door.

Then the plane hits one of the twin towers.
 
i had a dream where 47 from hitman ate spaghetti and fell in love with a man hiding in it and had to save him from drowning when the russian mafia tries to kill him

yeah i know, it makes a lot of sense
 
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I had this dream last night where Sam Neill had a YouTube channel where he posted videos with basic tips of homekeeping and etiquette for millenials, and I watched a video where he sipped wine and taught young people to offer to do the dishes for their mother-in-laws to create a great first impression. And then I told about it excitedly to my brother, mentioning the real-life detail that Sam has a cow named Helena Bonham Carter.

Now I'm slightly upset that the channel only existed in my dream (I love Sam).
 
I had a dream a few nights ago that I got stuck in a time loop trying to come home from a vacation. A retarded version of Ben Franklin and a version of the Vision from the MCU who looked like he was made of Bionicle pieces ended up getting me and a bunch of other people out of it, but we got attacked by robots, then i woke up.
 
Last night I had a really bizarre dream where NASCAR driver Kevin Harvick committed suicide by jumping out of a window at a shopping mall. I have no idea what it was trying to tell me.
 
The girl I used to date was stalking me and started a dramatic confrontation as I was leaving church. She demanded an answer as to why I hadn’t answered her texts and refused to go a private place to talk.

I had to explain with people staring that I didn’t think it was cool that she stole her ex’s credit card, and I didn’t want to be around someone who does that. She got embarrassed and started crying. It was really awkward.
 
I dreamed a few nights ago that I started a new game in Skyrim, and literally played through the first three or four hours of the game in my dream until I got to High Hrothgar, which was a burned-out ruin with the corpse of a Greybeard lying in the snow, and I thought to myself 'Alduin wiped them out to keep me from learning more about the Voice. That's smart.'
 
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I stopped smoking weed a few weeks ago and one of the side effects is my dreams go from relatively normal to full scale epically vivid. Like the other night i'm fighting zombies alongside other survivors of an undead apocalypse. People are getting gruesomely dismembered left and right, somehow a few of us manage to stay one step ahead of the unrelenting horde. Eventually our luck seemingly runs out, and we are caught on a beach. Zombies on one side and ocean on the other, we ponder what to do when a rumble in the distance gets my attention.

Out in the distance a tsunami begins to rise. As it grows closer it becomes terrifyingly massive, blocking out the sun as it crashes into the shore. Everything goes upside down, the force of the impact throws us in the air, zombies and debris all around. Aware of the chaos all around that seems to unfold in slow motion, I come crashing down into the churning water, filled with ships and rafts and all kinds of floating objects to keep us from drowning as we continue to fight the undead.

It all feels hopeless, the zombie horde only seems to grow, and fighting in the ocean only makes the environment more deadly. Then suddenly the sky opens up and these weird bio-mechanical tentacle-y ships appear in bursts of lightning. From the air their metallic tentacles grab zombies and humans alike, causing them to incinerate from the inside out with their grip.

I consciously think "Alright, NOW I'm really fucked..." Then I hear my phone going off and I wake up.
 
I was on the 14th floor of a hotel with a key (an old fashioned key and not one of those cards), and couldn't remember what room was mine.

I just really wanted to check in and go to sleep.

The first door I tried was the right one. The key clicked, the door opened, and I went in. It was really satisfying.

And yes I know what floor the 14th really is.
 
I got hired to commemorate some guy on his birthday after he was dead but instead of doing that I deleted all the positive stories about him on the Internet and replaced them with stories about him being arrested for petty crimes and changed his Wikipedia article to report he died "choking on cocks." When I was asked why I did this, I just ran out of the room.
 
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