What are the dumbest names people’s parents cursed them with?

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I dunno maybe it's just because it was common when I was growing up but I don't see anything bad about Hope, Faith, etc. Also I think foreign names that coincidentally sound like something amusing in English is cheating. Also also a few of these names that look bizarre are just Irish or old Anglo-Saxon names that fell out of favor and have weird spellings by modern standards. But they are nonetheless, actual names.

Someone mentioned Roman names though. They were objectively retarded. "Fifth kid? Ok uh...Quintus I guess. Good enough."
 
Knew a girl in HS her name was Charity Faith. She said her mother was walking one day and a homeless man shouted at her "You are going to have a baby girl and you will name her Charity Faith!" Well her mother year or so later gave birth to her and I guess took his advice? Yeah, well I guess her mother sucked and she was given away and later adopted. She was crazy and weird as fuck. Oh, I also knew a family who lived by me white trash as fuck the son was named Tyrel Cox, his mother got the name from some book about a cowboy named Tyrel, but he was a white cowboy he told us very adamantly. Oh almost forgot his sisters name, Titan (unsure if that was how it was spelled), but yes the mother gave the poor girl the name Titan to go with the last name of Cox, The mother also cheated on the father with a foreign exchange student that was staying with them and then later left the father for some skinhead who "wasn't a skinhead and wasn't racist he just gave a couple racist tattoos which is illegal and THAT is why he was in jail"... yea that was an interesting family.
 
"Cummings Seman" was one of the best I've heard. If my last name was Seman, I think I'd name my son "Jack King Seman."
I knew an Ellie May Swallows at school.

In Britbongistan a few years back, a lot of chavs started giving their genetic slop tray spawn double barreled floral names - Lily Rose, Iris Rose, various permutations of that


Also, old man names. Alfie, Archie, Stan and all that guff. And FUCK people who call their kids Grayson
 
In Britbongistan a few years back, a lot of chavs started giving their genetic slop tray spawn double barreled floral names - Lily Rose, Iris Rose, various permutations of that
I know a Millie-Rose, which is just about one tier below that. More are Destiny, Peace (both male), Honey (not that bad), Wing. I also knew someone called Rusty, but it turns out it was just short for something, it just wasn't used outside of legal documents, so nobody actually knew (this was at school)
Reading DQN/Kirakira name (I think this explanation is right - Japanese names that use kanji solely based on reading not meaning to form something else, the most I see is just English names but with weird kanji meanings. Might've misunderstood this a bit) lists is also a laugh, but the only one I remember is a girl called Pikachu (this was circulated a fair bit)
Two I liked:
  • Fukufukufukufuku (福 for good luck/fortune)
  • 手洗 read as Tiara, but the word itself means washing your hands.
 
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Just came across another one today: GayDonna

(And no -- not a drag queen. Name belongs to a middle aged white lady.)
Gay, or Gaye, used to be a quite popular name in places that had been influenced by the Normans.

Even the longer and more gender-specific versions, like Gaynor, and Gaylord.

In 2017, I read a local news where a couple named their son Uchiha Madara.
Is that some kind of misspelt Lion King reference?

"Cummings Seman" was one of the best I've heard. If my last name was Seman, I think I'd name my son "Jack King Seman."
When you could go with something exotic and Swedish? Missed opportunity.
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In 2017, I read a local news where a couple named their son Uchiha Madara. And iirc, not too long after that, there's another couple who named their son Hashirama Senju.

Talk about some weebs trying to start a fucking multigenerational clan war.

A family member actually named her kid after the pervert hermit, I shit you not. Might've been the baby daddy's idea but he was chased off after the kid was born, so I dunno.
 
There was a kid acrosss the street from me named Dotsy. It was short for Dorothy. Her whole family was fucked up. When she was 12 she had enough, took her dog up to the train platform and was goin to jump in front of an oncoming train. The police stopped her and shipped her off somewhere after that. Her life actually turned out pretty good when she got older though. So at least there was a happy ending.
 
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