What are your restaurant red flags?

[Xarpho]

I have crippling autism:

1. Look at interior, if it's simple the food is either amazing or amazingly shitty.
2. Look at the menu, if they have too much variety then I pick what they specialize in if possible.
3. If this is a new restaurant, I order something that one could not possibly fuck up (like a turkey club at a deli, or a pepperoni pizza at a pizza joint)
4. If step 3 is violated I never come back.
   

Yeah, tell me about it. I remember there was a pizza place in town that replaced a pretty solid joint except the new owner wanted to make it more "upscale" (adding pesto to every pizza, for instance). Yet my first order was a basic pepperoni pizza...and they didn't put any red sauce on the pizza! I didn't request no sauce and this wasn't S.O.P. for the restaurant. I have no idea what happened, it's not like they fucked up because it was busy.

Anyway, the place was out of business within 9 months.

 

[Haint]

If it's a local place with all black people, it's a family joint run by hard-working blacks and is probably good. If it's a chain and all the employees are black then it's run by shifty niggers and you should avoid.

A good family owned soul food joint is a treasure. Show up enough and sweet talk the lady behind the counter, and they start hooking you up with bigger servings. Having manners is important, older black ladies love that.
Avoid any chain chicken place in the hood. It's hood rat central, both two legs and four legs.

 

[Matthew216]

I once went to a Pizza Hut (back when they still had dining rooms) and the waiter literally ignored me for 20 minutes. I walked out.

What does it say about me that one of the best Pizza's I ever had was at Disney World in Orlando? It was that "Luigi's" place near the entrance.

 

[Honk Hill]

If it's not an Indian restaurant and it's run by Indians.

Pajeets have no place making pizza, burgers or fish and chips.

 

[Eureka Coffee Grinder]

If it's not an Indian restaurant and it's run by Indians.

Pajeets have no place making pizza, burgers or fish and chips.

every subway (american sandwich shop) is seemingly run by them, b/c as a franchise it is the cheapest one to get into, the cheapest startup costs and everything, whereas if you wanted to open a mcdee you have to like immaculate credit and millions in assets.

this is also why subway has gone down in quality, even before that pedo jared started to do his thing, or other kids things

 

[Honk Hill]

Quite common in Australia for Subways to be run by Pajeets too, used to get it a lot when I worked on the road.

One thing they do here is run shitty pizza places and they will setup all these fake stores from the same store front and use like A,B,C,D for the online places. I dont know how uber, deliveroo, menulog lets them get away with it, but there will be literally 7 or 8 pizza places from the same location, they all show the same menu, distance with a prefix on the address, as soon as they get a bad rating and it drops under 3.8 or so they just make a new one. It's all premade bases and processed af crap, dominoes is better.

 

[Local Fed]

Just to chime in, every Subway in Canada seems to be owned by Indians, too. At least 75% of the time it's difficult to even make out what they're saying due to the thick accents (masks have made this problem even worse.) The Delhi to first world Subway deli pipeline is certainly real.

 

[RussianParasite]

- any form of political propaganda everywhere/prominently displayed

One of the best Mediterranean/Middle Eastern restaurants I have ever eaten at had a big portrait of Bashar al-Assad toward the back of the restaurant. This is in the west/post Sarin gas attacks too which made it extra ballsy. Thinking about it now, portraits of dictators tends to trend with good food at a restaurant in my experience.

 

[Gangster Talk]

A game my dad taught me was to play guess the race at any "Japanese" restaurant. It was never really a red flag, but generally the Korean owned places were better than the Chinese ones.

There's a sushi place near me that prominently features a portrait of Genghis Khan and I'm not sure what to make of it. I had heard Chinese still hate Genghis Khan and that would be like having a portrait of General Sherman in the southern US, so I think that rules them out. But it seems like Japan and Korea would hate him too? I highly doubt they're Mongolian because I've never heard of a "Mongolian immigrant community" and the staff look like tiny East Asian people not steppe huns.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

That, and:

festooned with uppity jiggs, par for the course

That thumbnail is like the black version of the two soyjacks meme

 

[wopirish]

There's a sushi place near me that prominently features a portrait of Genghis Khan and I'm not sure what to make of it. I had heard Chinese still hate Genghis Khan and that would be like having a portrait of General Sherman in the southern US, so I think that rules them out. But it seems like Japan and Korea would hate him too? I highly doubt they're Mongolian because I've never heard of a "Mongolian immigrant community" and the staff look like tiny East Asian people not steppe huns.

The mongols never conquered Japan, so maybe the Japs just like him because they conquered china more than a couple times?

 

[Akashic Retard]

Black staff

 

[Jack Awful]

Food television has made me wary of any place that has a smorgasbord of entrees

I'm the opposite. Any sitdown place that has a small handful of dishes.

 

[Gangster Talk]

The mongols never conquered Japan, so maybe the Japs just like him because they conquered china more than a couple times?

Oh silly me I remember they tried to invade but for some reason got it in my head that they were successful. I guess their sushi can be trusted

 

[Return of the Freaker]

That, and:

festooned with uppity jiggs, par for the course

And now that I've watched this disgusting display of nigger behavior, I'm sure sooner or later one of these upstanding neurosurgeons will have a traffic stop and become the holy martyr of our next summer of love

 

[DeadwastePrime]

the chicken tendies are still pink on the inside im calling the health department

 

[Agoodpotroast]

Any restaurant that takes too long to acknowledge you when you walk in the door unless they're MEGA MEGA busy. Any restaurant that has no one in it (I always get paranoid that they're for like... money laundering if the food isn't shit)

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

Any restaurant that takes too long to acknowledge you when you walk in the door unless they're MEGA MEGA busy.

Some places that are dying out try the method of making you wait to be seated just for the sake of making you think that they're busier than they are if you can't see the dining area from the entrance. There's also some manipulative psychological shit with the sunk time fallacy where you won't want to leave after wasting too much time there already.

 

[EnemyStand]

Some places that are dying out try the method of making you wait to be seated just for the sake of making you think that they're busier than they are if you can't see the dining area from the entrance. There's also some manipulative psychological shit with the sunk time fallacy where you won't want to leave after wasting too much time there already.

Joke's on them, I live in an area where restaurants tend to be grouped together. They tried to pull that shit on me and my buddy at Friendly's (all those around me closed down) and we left and went to Chipotle. Get dunked on, Friendly's!

 

[Peru oso donas]

the chicken tendies are still pink on the inside im calling the health department

That happened to me once when asking a chicken burger on Carl's Jr and ever since i have never asked for a chicken burger in that chain again.