What are your restaurant red flags?

Any restaurants like Clean Eatz. Seriously this place is terrible and gimmicky. It preys on people that don't know anything about nutrition. They also sell a lot of "healthy" candies and sweets for fatties that can't help but shove vegan fudge in their mouth.
 

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spastic_bag said:
Embarrassing dish names: I would rather go home hungry than out loud, in public, ask for a "Chicky Chicky Good 'N' Thiccy Sammich".
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I've never seen a place with cute (retarded) names for the items succeed. Either your bacon cheeseburger wasn't good enough to just be called that, or the chef is so pretentious that they think things they make are so special they need a special name. In either case, big money is on that burger being shit.
 
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Xarpho said:
The middle picture. That reminds me. This happened gradually (the interior is also very different) and is still nominally the same restaurant (Alma Latina is on the front) but I would like to present to you a tragedy in two acts.

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It's not just the restaurant that got gentrified, it's the entire street. In the 2007 picture I see a used car lot(?) and a cheap mexican restaurant and in the newest one it's expensive gentrified property. Gentrification rips the soul out of everything, doesn't it?
 
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Dave. said:
It's not just the restaurant that got gentrified, it's the entire street. In the 2007 picture I see a used car lot(?) and a cheap mexican restaurant and in the newest one it's expensive gentrified property. Gentrification rips the soul out of everything, doesn't it?
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Good eye. In the background of 2007 you can see a used car lot and a Fiesta grocery store, whereas the new 2021 version it's been replaced with a yuppie 24-hour restaurant and a new H-E-B with a parking deck in front. And that's not even the worst examples in the street.

I just thought what happened to the poor Alma Latina was especially jarring.
 
Dave. said:
It's not just the restaurant that got gentrified, it's the entire street. In the 2007 picture I see a used car lot(?) and a cheap mexican restaurant and in the newest one it's expensive gentrified property. Gentrification rips the soul out of everything, doesn't it?
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Yet, when they move out, you niggas will start bitching about "muh white flight"
 
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At this point if you want me to eat Sushi you have to fly me to Japan.

I’m fed up of the best case scenario of sushi here being a plain salmon on rice with a smidge of wasabi as an optional side and the worst being food poisoning.

At this point I don’t trust anyone saying they love sushi to have functioning taste buds unless they’re a huge weeb who has been to nipland because it seems even Japanese immigrants just don’t bother when they come over here.


Otherwise I’m actually quite lax and will be newly taking all the advice from this thread in the future.
 
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A Welsh Cake said:
At this point if you want me to eat Sushi you have to fly me to Japan.

I’m fed up of the best case scenario of sushi here being a plain salmon on rice with a smidge of wasabi as an optional side and the worst being food poisoning.

At this point I don’t trust anyone saying they love sushi to have functioning taste buds unless they’re a huge weeb who has been to nipland because it seems even Japanese immigrants just don’t bother when they come over here.


Otherwise I’m actually quite lax and will be newly taking all the advice from this thread in the future.
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Have to agree with you about western sushi since I don't think most/any of it is made with actual sushizu, which is by definition what you have to add to the rice to make it sushi. I've made authentic sushi for others in the past, and I promise that real sushi smells nothing like the tamed, bland western stuff. It smells like hot-pickled gym socks and it's a testament to how much I have to love someone to stink up my house making it. But take my words with a pinch of salt since I myself don't like to eat sushi in general.

If you like authentic sushi and you walk into a sushi joint that doesn't smell at least a little like hot-pickled gym socks, that's your red flag.
 
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RichardMongler said:
  • For Chinese joints, pictures of food on the wall. This almost always spells trouble.
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Lol I didn't read the whole thread. Did someone tell him? Someone really should tell him.
RougeRed said:
Any place with spelling errors and/or lazy abbreviations on the menu. If you can't be bothered to spell out "cheese", proofread a menu before printing and laminating 500 of them, or if you can't spell "assortment", then I don't trust your ability to run a restaurant.
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Eh, one of my favorite places has a bunch of grocer's apostrophe's on its menu. Pancake's, hamburger's, etc.
 
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A Welsh Cake said:
At this point if you want me to eat Sushi you have to fly me to Japan.

I’m fed up of the best case scenario of sushi here being a plain salmon on rice with a smidge of wasabi as an optional side and the worst being food poisoning.

At this point I don’t trust anyone saying they love sushi to have functioning taste buds unless they’re a huge weeb who has been to nipland because it seems even Japanese immigrants just don’t bother when they come over here.


Otherwise I’m actually quite lax and will be newly taking all the advice from this thread in the future.
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Good sushi exists in the US. You just have to carefully read the menu and make sure they use quality fish. Also, the more focus a sushi place has on rolls, and the less focus they place on nigiri/sashimi, the more likely they are to be low quality. Good sushi doesn’t need to be covered in spicy mayo to be edible.

Conveyor belt sushi outside of Japan is nearly always garbage, but those restaurants are really popular with weebs because the tablet speaks Japanese and shows anime animations.
 
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One thing I forgot to mention: steak at a non-steakhouse.

Without fail, any place that doesn't specialize in steak is nigh guaranteed to have utterly shitty steak. No flavor or poorly seasoned, too much char and usually overcooked. Exceedingly few exceptions to this.
 
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quaawaa said:
Good sushi exists in the US. You just have to carefully read the menu and make sure they use quality fish. Also, the more focus a sushi place has on rolls, and the less focus they place on nigiri/sashimi, the more likely they are to be low quality. Good sushi doesn’t need to be covered in spicy mayo to be edible.

Conveyor belt sushi outside of Japan is nearly always garbage, but those restaurants are really popular with weebs because the tablet speaks Japanese and shows anime animations.
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Yo Sushi (UK chain) is a good example of "westernized" sushi.
 
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quaawaa said:
Good sushi exists in the US. You just have to carefully read the menu and make sure they use quality fish. Also, the more focus a sushi place has on rolls, and the less focus they place on nigiri/sashimi, the more likely they are to be low quality. Good sushi doesn’t need to be covered in spicy mayo to be edible.
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thank you.
I always order nigiri. Sometimes I get a craving for a weird roll but when I do, I make absolutely sure that it's got the actual fish in it (not the gross tube-squeeze 'tuna' ) and that there's no fucking disgusting spicy mayo shit on it.
 
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