What food makes your poo the worst?

[Jeff Gazetti]

As someone who cleans restrooms for a job, Americans need to stop eating so much fucking dairy. You'd be surprised how you can get by without wiping if you just incorporate some veggies into your diet and don't eat like a fucking asshole.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Pasta. No matter what pasta I get the cramps and worst shits. Sorry but I hate knowing by eating a small amount of pasta I'll be feeling horrible in bed. Fuck spaghetti!

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

As someone who cleans restrooms for a job, Americans need to stop eating so much fucking dairy. You'd be surprised how you can get by without wiping if you just incorporate some veggies into your diet and don't eat like a fucking asshole.

But vegetables are for soylent cuckolds and milk is for based chads.

 

[Magicicada_septendecula]

My significant other often makes a dish called Pernil, a Puerto Rican pork shoulder dish. It's one of my favorite things because it is nicely spiced, but not enough to hide the pork itself, which is one of the fattier pieces of pork. I always end up eating a little too much and it's greasy as fuck (in fact I end up getting a jar of pork fat to cook with that lasts months). The next day though, I have the greasiest, smelliest shits that seem to go on forever.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

Carrot juice

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

It's usually either Dairy or something really spicy. Like that Northern Reaper burrito that fucked me up when taking a shit.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Are we talking about the form or the taste

 

[Lemmingwiser]

I've been eating the same food every single day for the last almost 7 years now and my shit has been equally as consistent. However once last year the store I buy my granola from was out of the type I usually buy, so I tried a different kind. I didn't realize it was some kind of "high fiber granola" and 20 miles into a bike ride I discovered my mistake.

Fiber in general is terrible for digestion. They say its good for digestion, but like many modern truths it's inverted.

When I stopped eating bread every day things improved immeasurably.

 

[The Lawgiver]

My poop seems to be complete RNG where it doesn't matter what I eat it's gonna come out differently every time. What tends to make me have bad gas or shits is usually if I just ate and the vehicle I'm in is fucking jittering and jolting around in a very specific kinda rapid lurching motion. my guts have been fucking scrambled too many times by that shit, I know it's not motion sickness because it only comes after the motion is done. Seriously fix your fucking roads they're phase distorting my innards and making bathroom trips hell.

 

[Sarah Connor]

Red meat. I grew up with ARFID (to be honest, I still have it) and after a bad experience at my grandmother's house at the age of three, I became extremely restrictive with my diet.
I was 21 when I had my first burger post-incident and it fucked up my digestive track severely. I'm assuming because I had spent almost two decades without eating any kind of red meat, maybe it had something to do with my digestive enzymes not being used to it. I'm not too sure.
It's kind of sad, as I've found that I actually really like steak and burgers and bacon - but I rarely eat them because it just fucks up my stomach so bad.

 

[TheDarknessGrows]

I'm assuming because I had spent almost two decades without eating any kind of red meat

Oh yeah. That'll do it. You are probably lucky it was not a worse experience. Returning to a type of food that your body has not had to digest for decades can be a painful experience without slowly working back to it.

You'd be surprised how you can get by without wiping

BRO. Wipe twice from now on with damp towels after you think you're done, you grimy mothetfucker.

 

[Pissmaster]

My poo quality got way better and it doesn't take me a half hour to take a shit anymore, now that I've kept Taco Bell completely out of my diet for years. Taco Bell is poison.

 

[The REAL Hatsune Miku]

I think there are two kinds of truly awful shits: the sticky sludge and the uncleavable log.

The former is harder to wipe away than sin and leaves you feeling like a slimy morass afterwards. If you're lookin for that, nothing does the trick quite like eating too much fiber with too little water.

The latter feels like giving birth and is the result of eating anything that's actually fun or tasty.

 

[Trombonista]

I can't believe people are actually answering OP's question.

 

[Begemot]

If I eat curry I have to spend an hour on the can shitting fire

Yeah, yakub made you insolent ypipo have that failsafe so we could conquer yo cavebeast ass.....

It's like a shibboleth for food.....Only inferior folx can't eat hot stuff, all rightous BIPOC folx can eat chilli.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

The next day though, I have the greasiest, smelliest shits that seem to go on forever.

I read this as "the greatest smelling shits"

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Diet is clean for the most part, gym and whatnot. But I've noticed if I have McDonald's or Burger King, I'll have explosive diarrhea the next day and my arse is redder than a troon's hair.

Still doesn't stop me hitting that drive thru every few weeks.

 

[Magicicada_septendecula]

I read this as "the greatest smelling shits"

That too, they're always great when they're your own.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

had an ice cream cake (not the whole cake) but the frosting was like, a starfield of black icing with white dots
digested fine but my shit was very green for a day or two

 

[CastrationFrustration]

Bread and soda fuck me up immeasurably. It's getting to the point that I've considered seeking some sort of GI-related care/diagnosis because it's getting bad again even when I avoid bread and soda.

had an ice cream cake (not the whole cake) but the frosting was like, a starfield of black icing with white dots
digested fine but my shit was very green for a day or two

I don't know anyone who's consumed any amount of an ice cream cake and been fine afterwards. It's a delicious trap.