Beat two games while Kiwi Farms was spazzing out, Sniper Elite 4 and Roundabout.
Sniper Elite 4 was frustrating, especially because I found it a mediocre experience only to realize I had been playing it wrong and have Cuphead journalist tear gaming skills in the very last level. You are Karl Fairburne, muh German-American superubercommando sent to kill all Germans while looking grumpy and folding his arms and jutting out his godly square jaw. He is a creatively bankrupt ripoff of BJ Blaskowicz with none of the charisma. And the plot might as well not exist, as in, it actively worsens the game while also not being there. You can watch a few characters with little animation and horrible voice acting talk a bit before you go off to do some mission that's sort of tied into the other missions. It's boring shit about guided missiles being developed to sink the whole US Fleet before Husky.
Okay, so the plots piss. What about the gameplay and world design? Well, the shooting mechanics seem good, at least detailed for what it is. Adjust your range, reconnoiter the land with your binoculars. Sound actually plays a huge role and the AI is pretty damn impressive. You take a shot, it takes several shots before they triangulate your position, but regardless, enemies that are in war mode use actual tactics to protect themselves and flush you out, and you can't just run around. Sometimes you want to shoot when there's loud noises, cover the sound of your gun.
Problem is, the maps are way too large to sneak through - it is excruciatingly long, I could only stand playing like once a week - with a million enemies and no good sniping spots. I'd have fun at the start of a map and then it would just grind me down by outstaying its welcome 4x, eventually just start running and gunning. And it's a faithful representation of Italy, but the terrain's hilliness and tight streets mean it's actually about the worst environment for the sort of long trick shooting you think you're going to do.
Well, I get to the very last mission, and only then did I figure out how the fucking range adjustment works. Or rather, I had seen it, I had seen the marking with binoculars, but at no point did my tiny monkey brain figure out to use the two together. See, I had been using "empty lung" (bullet time), which shows you exactly where to point the gun but also takes any feeling of accomplishment or challenge out of the act of shooting. On the other hand, I don't fuck with bullet drop, I hate it in games and don't care to learn. Well, what you're supposed to do is mark the guys, then range adjust to the distance it says. Then the game "has bullet drop," but you just correct for that. Suddenly it becomes a really fun action shooter where you blow your way through crowds, but at medium-to-long distance ranges! There is no explaining how goddamned stupid I must have been to have not figured that out. But when I see a stealth game, I always kind of assume the stealth is the INTENDED experience.
For $6.00, was good. Sort of thing you pick up and play just to fuck around in. It has a multiplayer mode about sniping and people still play it, shockingly, but it's also not very accessible at this point.
Roundabout, on the other hand, really good game. It was one of those stupid joke things that came out around the same time as Goat Simulator. You are the world's first revolving limousine driver, as in, your car mysteriously revolves about a vertical axis while also responding perfectly to your controller's thumbstick, basically just operating on cartoon logic. It's the 1970s, the cutscenes are all in FMV done in an intentionally bad 1970s style with a mute protagonist that just stares back at her passengers. If that sounds charming, it's not. I found most of them so cringey - not aggressively cringey, just so unfunny it hurt - it actively detracted. But, the plot grew on me, it just takes a while to get moving.
The gameplay is rock solid, since the car revolves the challenge basically comes from "swinging" your car around objects, which may themselves be revolving, with the right timing and angle to clear them. Ain't really much more to say than that. Lot of levels with the stupid little FMV cutscenes, collectibles, nonsense. It layers on a bit more complexity over time with things like having the limo jump (for platforming and such) and chases. It's one of those things that is intentionally awkward as hell when you first pick it up, but once you get the hang of it is deeply satisfying.
Unfortunately, it's pretty short. The way the map was laid out I thought it was going to have six areas, ended up with just three, and I didn't figure that out until the credits rolled. It just rushes to an ending abruptly, and you know how when watching a movie your mind will be working ahead predicting what will happen? Yeah, I thought it was going to set up this thing with the villain turning out to have faked his death and a redemption arc and all that. No, it just up and ends. But definitely a great idea, wish they had made a sequel that was bigger.
Got it for $2.50 YEARS ago, picked it up, immediately hated it, never bothered playing it again until now. My loss, it's great if you're getting it cheap like that.