Containment What If?

What if you went back in time to Chris Chan circa 2008 Jimmy Hill Saga and you told him everything about his life from that point on towards the weird Jesus arc in 2023? How would 2008 Chris react and think?
 
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Caligura said:
What if you went back in time to Chris Chan circa 2008 Jimmy Hill Saga and you told him everything about his life from that point on towards the weird Jesus arc in 2023? How would 2008 Chris react and think?
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I'm going to ignore the possibility that he calls you a troll and ignored you because what you're telling him is going to happen doesn't line up with his own predictions of wealth, fame, and boyfriend free girls because that's boring. The biggest change I predict is that he latches onto the dimensional merge jesuschu saga shit much earlier. I just don't have any faith that Chris would have the will or work ethic to prevent tragedies like Bob's death or the house fire even if you gave him exact dates and told him what to do to stop them.
 
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BMO_ said:
No Jew (except for Marvin) nor Arab would tolerate his "autism"/schizophrenia, especially if it insults their culture and religion. I expect Chris getting himself killed in first 24 hours.
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Now look, Rabbi Shaloam! I am da messiah reincarnated, and I order you to stop using sheets when purifying the women because it makes it hard for my duck to reach mudder's fine chyna! And on passover, we're not eatin no more of that tastless Matzo ball soup Gefilte Fish, or Krablocks! We're eatin chilli dogs with orange fanta or Pepsi. We're also not speaking Hebrew! The torah shall be read in Spanish.
 
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Not A. Yankee said:
I'm going to ignore the possibility that he calls you a troll and ignored you because what you're telling him is going to happen doesn't line up with his own predictions of wealth, fame, and boyfriend free girls because that's boring. The biggest change I predict is that he latches onto the dimensional merge jesuschu saga shit much earlier. I just don't have any faith that Chris would have the will or work ethic to prevent tragedies like Bob's death or the house fire even if you gave him exact dates and told him what to do to stop them.
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To be fair, I don't think there was much Chris himself could've done to prolong Bob's life. From 2008 he was really starting to feel his age and I imagine that the only theoretical way to have him live longer would be to somehow improve his standard of living ASAP like him moving to a well-furnished house with clean food instead of McSlop alongside a new wife and son that wouldn't cause him any more stress. If that could happen, he could've lived to at least his 90s in the most optimal circumstances. Have to remember in his dying moments he was riddled in bites from pests at the old house.

But of course that was never going to happen sadly. :(
 
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BMO_ said:
The fact that he and Barbara managed to reach an age of 80 is already an achievement.
(I do wonder if Chris inherited this trait from his parents. How would an 80-years-old Chris look and behave?)
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Chris is hitting the age where overall poor lifestyle choices start to hit you hard. Decent odds that there's a mini-stroke or heart attack saga in the next 5 years.
 
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Havel the Rock said:
Chris is hitting the age where overall poor lifestyle choices start to hit you hard. Decent odds that there's a mini-stroke or heart attack saga in the next 5 years.
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Sucking all dat Coke and whatever sweet drinks he's into.

I got a question here.

What if Chris was introduced to stevia?
 
Caligura said:
What if Chris was born Asian, his name would be Chingling Wui Chinghui.
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If he was in China, he would be forced to give up on Sonichu, unless the CCP forces him to repurpose his comic and surrender it to them as their own product to show their hatred for Japan.
 
ididn’tchoosetobethisgay said:
I’m sure someone has already posted this, but what if Chris was born a true and honest woman?
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I'm assuming that we would still know about... Christina. But what Bob would have been willing to do with Chris the boy he might not be willing to do with Chris the girl, I'm assuming Barbara would still be very controlling of... Christina. There's every chance that she would still be a complete tard and get into a lot of legal trouble.

If Chris was still a homebody, I'm going to guess that she wouldn't be so crazy about finding a girlfriend free boy and would not have a bent duck.

We could assume that Chris would still be into My Little pony and Sonic and things like that but exactly what shenanigans she would get up would be left up to the imagination.

Obviously there's some things that a guy is going to do that a girl wouldn't think of doing and vice versa. She would probably still get kicked out of college, be very opposed to getting a job and would be an attention seeker all around.

But I would say that Chris would just do the normal things girls do to get attention.
 
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What if Chris Chan was a zoomer, say he was born in 1999? Let's say the ages of his parents scale with this change. Essentially we'd be in his 'Classic Saga' as of 2023.
 
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