Containment What If?

What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

What if he hadn't been born in 1982 but in 1952, thus turning 18 years old around 1970 when Hippiedom took off.

Naturally, being born in the 50s, he'd probably have been even more conservative than he is now, since his homophobic and sexist views would have been generally accepted. But let's say that instead of turning towards Tomgirlism when entering his "rebellious teen" phase (around his 30s birthday), he'd have adopted the most visible alternative lifestyle of the 70s and had decided to become a Hippie. How would this have turned out? Would he have traveled to Woodstock? Would he have gotten layed with some chick skyhigh on acid? Would he have tried to live in a Hippie commune until he got kicked out due to smelling bad (by fellow Hippies!!)?

Or maybe he'd have joined an anarchist extremist splinter group led by a 1970s ADF, planning to blow up a nuclear plant, and in the process blowing up Chris with it?
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

Holy crap, if he was born in 1952 he'd be born the same year as my dad. My dad joined the army in 1970 and became an officer in 1974 (in the Signal Corps, no less), which is about as far removed from being a hippie as possible.

Well, his taste in music would have been very different.

He might be a table top gaming fanatic, which people did before vidya.

Yeah, he probably would have been able to get easy china because the hippies believed in free love.

He'd do drugs and burn his draft card.

LOL, maybe he'd get shot at Kent State?
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

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Envision it like this video:

A fat, mustached manchild storming his way across the Eastern seaboard, viewing every black guy as a brown, domed midget-thing, the cops as turtles, and the peyote he got off a guy in Boston has him seeing Nixon as a giant fire-breathing dragon thing. Nothing but a stoned fat guy jumping in circles from Ruckersford to almost Canada for the greater part of a decade. Glorious, man.
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

Well, his smell would be more justifiable, I guess.
Also instead of clown shirts, he'd wear tie-dye. Lots and lots of tie-die.

....and DIRTY CRAPPED BELLBOTTOMS.
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

If Barbara Chandler is any indication, hippiedom and the social revolutions of the 60s and 70s would completely bypass Ruckersville.

If he actually did get out and around to other hippie circles, he'd probably come the closest ever to consensual non-prostitute sex (but now with acid).

Also, lots and lots of hippie rejection.
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

DIRTY CRAPPED PEACE, MAN

for whatever reason, he didn't have a reunion (either they never organized one, or he wasn't invited), but what if he had a high school reunion like he was promised?
 
If Chris was attractive and a woman his life might be different. Attractive men don't get enough of an advantage for it to overwhelm even one of his personality defects, let alone all of them working in concert. Any woman who would settle for good-looking Chris would in all honestly probably settle for real Chris. This is because anyone willing to settle for Chris would necessarily have zero standards.
 
Chris would have gotten in far more trouble with the law with the trolls not there to keep his anger and victim complex online where he is safe.
 
He'd probably have tried to chat up his gal-pals, and would have yelled "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" upon discovering that they have JERKS in their life ("husbands"/"boyfriends" for the rest of us) and are not considering giving him china.
 
He´ll try to dress sharply, with terrible consecuences, and looking cooler now he has more knowledge about life issues.
He´s also know due to his gluttony a parties. A ridiculous image indeed.
 
Wasn't there one he was invited to but never went to because of da trollz? It was in some mental health related place right?
 
He would be angry that all his gal-pals have made something significant with their lives while he's still sweetheart and Crystal-less and would start whining loudly about how it has been all the fault of those DANG, DIRTY TROLLS and that bastard of their JEW leader until he was dragged away by a pair of jerkops while leaving behind a horrible stench of DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.
 
Like they've been posting on Facebook: high school reunion - if I haven't talked to you in the past 20 years, there's a reason why.
 
"Really. I think he was...y'know, like, spoiled or tainted or something.

I think I'm gonna become a vegetarian now.
Hopefully after I eat an entire box of ex-lax and drink an entire bottle of drano I'll get this out of my system.

I just wish the taste would go away."
 

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Woodstock was in 1969, so no, Chris wouldn't go (assuming he still has autism and Borb for parents in this scenario). He might try pot if his gal-pals offered it to him, but Borb would ground him if they found out.
 
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Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

Or maybe he'd have joined an anarchist extremist splinter group led by a 1970s ADF, planning to blow up a nuclear plant, and in the process blowing up Chris with it?
Click to expand...
Why would ADF fall off from the straight path of Marxism-Leninism? :(
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

He probably would've created the first Kermit the Frog/Snagglepuss crossover.

Though ironically, it would be less of a rehash than Hanna-Barbera's own work.
 
Re: What if Chris had lived during the Hippie era?

I think given the area he resides in, and his autism, I think he would be in a situation similar to the one he's in now.

How much special education was there back in the 70s, if any? Would Chris have gone to a different school or would he be mixed with the general study body in classes? Through this, I think he might have been singled out as the "weird" kid that got picked on a lot due to his personal hygiene and his autism. This probably would have mentally damaged him to the point where he would become as antisocial as he is now. Since there was no internet back then, this would have been his reason to stay inside and wait for Magnavox to release the Odyssey.

I'm sort of talking out of my ass here, but I hope my point got across.
 
I always thought that C-Quarters and W-Quarters were just tokens for the vending machines.
 
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