Containment What If?

Honeyrabbit said:
What if Chris had sixteen eyes, and tentacles that squirm and writhe
And every day he grew in size, until he reached twelve stories high
What if Chris had sixteen hands, and made his way across the land
Destroying everything he can, eating men instead of q-sands
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Then Cthulu and all other evil gods, be they Sauron or Khorne, would pack their bags and quit this earth because their existence would be made irrelevant by Cwcthulu.

Edit: @Marvin What if Kengle was to become the first prophet of Cwcthulu?
 
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DrunkTails said:
Then Cthulu and all other evil gods, be they Sauron or Khorne, would pack their bags and quit this earth because their existence would be made irrelevant by Cwcthulu.

Edit: @Marvin What if Kengle was to become the first prophet of Cwcthulu?
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He'd probably try to sacrifice himself to get CWCthulu's attention only for the elder God to not notice at all.
 
What if Chris solved the Lament Configuration and unwittingly opened the gates of Hell?

hellraiser.jpg
 
Apocalypso said:
He'd be thrown out in less than five minutes for being rude, disrespectful etc..

What if Chris could read our thoughts?
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Since he doesn't understand the "theory of mind", he would read the minds but he'd be completely unable to actually make sense of them. As far as he'd be concerned, he'd just see bright flashes of images, random words and emotions... and it would be impossible for him, to make any kind of connection between them and the people's behaviour.
 
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ManOfOlympium said:
What if he was never trolled?
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Do you mean, without the internet-trolling? Cause there was a shitload of stuff going on that was basically Chris getting 'trolled' (if you can call it that) in real life.

Classmates threw pennies at him and yelled "Sonic is dead!" and such stuff. Sarah Hammer locked him up under her house. He was mocked and taken advantage of...

And even when that wasn't the case, he still got himself in trouble, since he's his own best troll. That's why he got handcuffed and hogtied, banned from stores and so on.

So, if noone from the internet ever trolled him, he'd still be mocked and spoofed irl. And even if that wasn't the case, Chris would still find a way to end up in trouble. It's only noone would take much notice of it.
 
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What if the people of Greene County (with the exception of the Authorities and proprietors of places where he's caused Mayhem) come to realize that he's the closest thing to a world renowned celebrity in this quaint little area of his. If properly exploited, Chris's antics and stories could probably bring in a fair amount of tourism.
 
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MrJakeTerror said:
What if the people of Greene County (with the exception of the Authorities and proprietors of places where he's caused Mayhem) come to realize that he's the closest thing to a world renowned celebrity in this quaint little area of his. If properly exploited, Chris's antics and stories could probably drive people away in droves.
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FTFY. I think you're severely over-estimating Chris' e-fame. Think about it, would you want to visit or live in a place where people glorify Chris' behavior?
 
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Coldgrip said:
FTFY. I think you're severely over-estimating Chris' e-fame. Think about it, would you want to visit or live in a place where people glorify Chris' behavior?
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I meant that in a way similar to Zoo Animals or sideshow freaks.
 
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Ho Mo for Women said:
What if Chris was an exhibit at an alien zoo?
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Several things would be the case.
First and foremost, our planet would be known intergalactically as the sole planet where the inhabitants didn't develope any kind of personal hygiene. They'd think "Curse ye hame ha" is the human call of distress. They'd be confused about mating rituals, desperately trying to understand just what it is Chris is doing with that inflatable piece of plastic he was clinging to when they found him...
Stuff like that.

Ho Mo for Women said:
What if Chris owned SEGA?
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Chris would bitch and moan that the bullies at Nintendo don't respect him enough and don't allow him to make his Sonichu games due to copyright infringement.
 
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What if Chris became a sex symbol in the fart fetish community? (IE. His cake farting antics etc)
 
If Chris were in an alien zoo, it'd be like that one episode of that old Star Trek cartoon from the 70s. Except probably more telepathic laughing.
 
Stud2Stud said:
It would be ample proof that we, both as a species and a society at large, have failed.
I don't know at what we would have failed, but it would still be undeniably true that we failed.
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I laughed so hard at this...literally tears right now. Thank you :D
 
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