Containment What If?

He was a half-decent pet owner (his dog(s) and cats had quite impressive lifespans so he must have been doing something right), so maybe he would treat his baby as a project too and do a pretty decent job at it, helped by Barbara and the people at his local church?

Like, those nutjobs at "VHEMT" or something. He realizes at one point he will never have his beloved Chrystal so he flips the whole thing around.What'd happen, would he stick with it, how would people react? He could coat it in an environmentalist sauce, or, more likely, come out as the closet furry he is and say animals are better anyway (Patti).
 
He would be a disgrace to the childfree movement, would spam sites like Bratfree with Sonichu and rants about Snyder when 99% of the posts are pro-eugenics blather, would be banned from all childfree blogs and forums, and would get laughed at because of Son-Chu and the Aerostar being traditional family cars instead of transportation for incontinent autistic furries.
 
cubesandcubes said:
killswitch1982 said:
What would you do if you had a day with Christian?

I think I'd take him to King's Dominion or Busch Gardens and take him on some scary rides. On the drive to the park I'd introduce him to some of my favorite music, like the Ramones, Guttermouth, Johnny Cash, cKy, stuff like that...played really loud of course. I have always been curious how Chris would handle going on roller coasters or other scary rides.
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Do you have a china? Because that is the only plausible way you could get Chris to do anything like that...

To contribute:

Hypothetically: A long walk to a used bookstore and a comic shop on free comics day, then a long time reading at a coffee shop. Then playing old NES games, then 16 oz of Everclear mixed with Tang and Gatorade and the subsequent drunken rapture.
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Yeah, no, I've got a pickle.
 
After climbing into my hazmat suit and locating my cattle prod (in case Chris gets "nervous"), I would take chris to the gym. Have his BMI checked properly and show him in a direct comparison how he is considerably weaker than a girl. Then I would take him for healthy food and use visual aids to discuss his issues.
 
I would start off with something I know he would like, like going to a comic book or video game store. Then take him to a place he would be comfortable to eat, like McD's. However, after this, I would shift the itinerary to things that would slowly push him out of his comfort zone. I would take him for a walk in the park and make him leave all his vidya and I-whatever in the car. I would take him to an amusement park, not necessarily for the rollercoaster rides (which I happen to love) but just to keep him outside and away from vidya and force him to do things such as play the games in the gallery, or some of the lighter rides like the spinning teacups or whatever. The next place we eat at would also push him out of his comfort zone, so I would take him to a place known for health food, or one with a certain amount of waiting time so he would be forced to wait for his meal. Since I have a china, I would string him along with the promise of it if he cooperates and does not whine about being pushed out of his comfort zone. Of course, given how he is, I see him whining or complaining at least once.
 
I'd play vidya with him, teach him to talk to girls, and drag him on hike after hike after hike to help him work off his prodigious girth.
 
The Judge looked at the manchild in front of him; critically analyzing his every move as he explored the sincerity of his plea.

"Do you understand that you will be charged the court fees, should you accept the plea bargain?"
"Yes. My mother will be taking care of that."

"Do you understand that you are to pay Michael John Snyder for his medical expenses?"
"Yes, but I don't think that THIEVING LIAR deserves a red cent!"

---
This is how CWC pled not guilty to the events of 10/28/11, by lashing out at Michael Snyder even as he showed great mercy towards our pet lolcow and undermining the image his lawyer, Rob Bell, tried to create. This was essentially ignored by the judge, and events would ultimately keep CWC from real consequences afterward.

Let's take the opposite case: The Judge decides to explore Chris' failure to accept the arrangement. This is CWC; he can't stop ranting about hating Michael Synder, how he's made his life miserable, and all that trolling he's done.

The Plea deal is off. The Judge doesn't think CWC will plead guilty; the DA is ready to prove his case, and Rob Bell's attempt to make Chris look like an autistic struggling to understand reality is badly undercut. Michael Synder is quite possibly offended by this verbal abuse.

The question is: What happens if the book gets thrown at CWC? I think this was a decent possibility and doesn't seem too unlikely that CWC could well and screw it all up. Does he get a felony conviction and jail time? Does his community service actually stand, or, can Rob Bell manage to retrieve the situation?
 
If he wasn't playing the autism card to the hilt, he'd have been found in contempt of court for that "bribing" outburst. Judges generally don't like it when you flat-out claim the court they preside over is a corrupt farce. So that would be an additional fine and/or jail.
After that: if the book was really thrown at CWC, the judge would reject any plea deals and give the Chandlers the maximum sentence on all counts. What would happen if the Chandlers insisted on a trial wouldn't matter since their guilt is a pretty open-and-shut case, and we're assuming the judge already hates them. Chris would end up with a year in prison (or maybe just county jail, not sure) plus whatever fines and such from his lesser crimes. Barb, all of the above plus more prison time for assaulting the jerkop. Both would be convicted felons, which would probably have tugboat-related implications of some sort. I think at the very least they would be off the tugboat while in prison and would have to go through the SSDI bureaucracy to get reinstated when they got out. They'd probably lose the right to vote too, not that they probably used it much to begin with.

You know, I wonder what the state of the Chandlers' driver's licenses are. How many points did this whole escapade rack up? In Virginia do they send you to "driving school" if you get too many points? In some states I know they do.
 
c-no said:
Mama Luigi said:
Let's stretch the truth here and imagine it would actually be completed.
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If a Sonichu game was made, it would be like Big Rigs: Non existant enemy A.I., clipping through scenery, and having a very bad ending that says "Your Winner". Another possibility of how it would look is that it would be like any mediocre, horrible game that we would see and/or play that isn't Big Rigs: Superman 64, Bubsy 3D, Shaq Fu.
If the Sonichu game was completed in another way, it would probably be a mediocre LittleBigPlanet level that would be somewhat entertaining for some but ultimatley broing.
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So like Sonic 06?
 
It would be like I am Sam except he'd never see his child again, she would grow up loathing him, and at the end one or both of them would die.
 
The DANG DIRTY TROLLS would call CPS as soon as they found out. Unlike dogs, the government does take a dim view of people raising babies in a filthy, infested mess of a house.

The hooker would be a more fit parent than CWC.
 
It'd be just like (what we can assume, knowing what we do about) his dogs: five minutes of cutesy-wootsy novelty, followed by day upon day of begrudging, bare-minimum care-taking.

Is it a good or bad thing that if Chris ever learned about safe-haven laws, he'd likely dump the newborn child at a designated place in a heartbeat?
 
The child would grow up never knowing his true parentage or his secret powers. Until one day, while exploring an abandoned building, he stumbled on... the Branchuent Prophecy!
 
Chris couldn't handle the STRESS of a baby. He would cuddle it until it shit itself ;then would just pass it off to Barb and play vidya
 
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