Containment What If?

bungholio said:
Living in Manhattan would be too much walking for Chris.
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I went to school in Manhattan and I pretty much walked everywhere without realizing how much walking I was actually doing. Maybe it would be good for him. Although, he'd quickly map out where every McDonalds was so maybe not.

registereduser said:
DykesDykesChina said:
Bridechu said:
Would trains be a sexual desire of his like Rosechus obviously are? Maybe. Christ knows there's porn of it. Chris would probably be all over Emily's sweet undercarriage and smoke stack.
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I remember that in the book "Vineland" by Thomas Pynchon, there was this one dude who had a sexual relationship with a sports car by inserting his pickle into the exhaust tube :shock:
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I saw a documentary where someone did this. There was also a woman who made out with a ferris wheel and another woman who was having a polyamorous relationship with the Eiffel Tower and a chunk of the Berlin Wall. Look up objectum sexuals.
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Oh my god, what? :shock:
 
pickleniggo said:
bungholio said:
Living in Manhattan would be too much walking for Chris.
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I went to school in Manhattan and I pretty much walked everywhere without realizing how much walking I was actually doing. Maybe it would be good for him. Although, he'd quickly map out where every McDonalds was so maybe not.
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There are enough crazy pacers smelling of hobo that he'd get lost in the shuffle here.

(Oh god I just realized that even at his weirdest, he's really something seen everyday in NYC)
 
jefferson said:
One more thing for chris to shove up his ass.
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He could stick an N-scale tank car or locomotive, a vintage Matchbox, Majorette or Siku N-scale wheeled diecast train (Matchbox and Majorette depicted European-style narrow-gauge trains, the Siku depicted a high-dollar Bombardier freighter or passenger locomotive) or one of the cheapo Reader's Digest promo N-scale wheeled locomotives up his ass, most likely inside a condom like the Jackass crew did with a Hot Wheels Porsche. HO-scale would require a Goatse-sized anus, and O-scale would be too big for any ass.
 
I had a random thought,

What if Epic Rap Battles Of History did an edition featuring Chris? who do you think he'd rap against? He'd lose miserably of course but who'd he rap against?

What would his rap be about?
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

[youtube]IdV5BUk9-vo[/youtube]
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Chris would battle George W. Bush/King Jong-un
 
Stratochu said:
jefferson said:
One more thing for chris to shove up his ass.
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He could stick an N-scale tank car or locomotive, a vintage Matchbox, Majorette or Siku N-scale wheeled diecast train (Matchbox and Majorette depicted European-style narrow-gauge trains, the Siku depicted a high-dollar Bombardier freighter or passenger locomotive) or one of the cheapo Reader's Digest promo N-scale wheeled locomotives up his ass, most likely inside a condom like the Jackass crew did with a Hot Wheels Porsche. HO-scale would require a Goatse-sized anus, and O-scale would be too big for any ass.
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You'd be surprised at the size of things that have been up people's asses.
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Nelson Mandela
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Gee, if only he had a mortal enemy to go against....
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

My friend suggest that he should do an Epic Rap Battle against Richard Kuta. I'll let you guys be the judges of that result.
 
Remember the movie "kerry" (based on a steven king novel i think) but with a lot more Tardrage, sperging, and :briefs:

Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

He should challenge chris dorner
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

I say Satoshi Tajiri, maybe teamed with Yuji Naka. Parallel to Chris, who created a franchise that was doomed from the start, Tajiri took his autism and created a multi-million dollar video game franchise. Why Yuji Naka? Because Chris pmuch took Tajiri and Naka's franchises and bastardized them into Sonichu, then claimed it as his own unique creation and... Well, on the other hand I guess the point of ERB is to match up two SIMILAR opponents. In that case I'm at a loss.
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

I would like to see Chris Rap Battle A-log.

All of A-logs disses would be about Chris's many flaws while Chris's would be something along the lines of "and who are you again?"
 
Its been proven that people who start to lift weights, completely transform their bodies, and become strong can totally change their lives.

I'd really have to wonder what Chris would be like if he could squat like 300 lbs. He just needs to learn basic squats, Bench press and deadlift, all of which are fairly easy to learn technique.

He wouldn't even have to leave home, just invest like $300 tugboat money and lift weights at home. You know, his libido will increase, too. :pickle:
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

1- If he did one I'd see it months later and get a quick chuckle out of it before forgetting about it.
2- Chris vs Janeane Garofalo. Don't know wwhy but that's who I see his opponent being.
 
If Chris was able to muster the motivation and energy to lift weights, he would have to learn the rules of weight lifting. Once he has done any stretching, he better lift the weights that he is comfortable with. If he goes too light, he wouldn't gain any muscle, if he goes too heavy, he would strain a muscle, break his back if he were to lift it off the ground, hurt his foot if he dropped the weight, or choke if he was bench-pressing without a spotter. If he were to bench-press, he might end up dead if he doesn't yell for help and is not heard from or even call 911 if he reached his phone.
 
You know, weights can't really kill you... It's still easy to find a way with the weight off you if you fail the Bench, and if you fail a deadlift, you just drop it on the ground. Your feet shouldn't be in the way.

I agree though, he'd really need to loosen up. You need proper posture when weight lifting.
 
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